To be annoyed by this (yes, benefits related, sorry)

[Spotbakesacake]

Name changed for this.

Dsd is with is is week. She randomly just dropped in to the conversation that her mums bf has moved a lot of his stuff back to his parents as he has moved back there in order that they can get more money which they need to buy a house in August. He still visits every day and stays over some nights. She was talking about his Xbox and said it was at his parents as he needed to have enough things there to convince 'them' that he didn't live there anymore.

To me this reads that he has nominally moved out in order that the mum can claim housing benefit again (as she only works a couple of days a week)

They have reserved a new build house that should be ready in august, dsd says they don't have enough money for it yet though.

The bf is in a well paid job, I think he earns nearly as much as dh actually. They are obviously impatient to move which I do understand. But this doesn't seem a very honest way to go about it. Dh and I saved for ages to have a house deposit.

Dh told me that his ex has been investigated for benefit fraud before although I have no idea what for, that was years ago. I only know because she thought it was him that reported her (he wasn't)

It's not that I have anything against dsd mum, I don't really know her but she seems nice enough. And it's not that I have any plans to try and report her or anything (unless people think I should!) I realise I know nothing like the full story. I'm just feeling rather grr about it.

Well Happy I sincerely hope your dancing job doesn't involve any contact with vulnerable people. I have two employed roles, a self employed project and community volunteering to manage but I'd feel ashamed to take the judgemental attitude you do.

If you ever lose your job or need to depend on others you might play a different tune. Who are you to judge the individual circumstances of others?

Only on mumsnet is the worse crime in the world not to invite everyone to your child's party but it's ok to condone wilful manipulation of the welfare state.

HappyGirlNow the point is that if the welfare state was run by embittered second wives, lots of people would be destitute.

Thankfully it isn't

And anyone taking a bitter-sounding second wife's word for anything regarding the first wife's affairs is running a risk of being mislead.

Yes Spot, her daughter is connected to you. She, however, is not, but you're choosing to take an interest in her personal affairs. Why?

HappyGirl Absolutely agree. We should pay MORE to those in real need, and have some kind of moral shame on those who are claiming just because technically they can squeeze into a category that is legally entitled (eg by having a BF move out temporarily). I also passionately support the welfare state and would not want it cut, I just want it spent where there is real, and not manufactured, need.

Linerunner no, he would not be paying for sex. But yes, I think people should pay towards board and lodging if they are making use of it, when they can easily afford it (he is well paid) and when otherwise it is being paid for by the taxpayer under the misapprehension that there is no alternative source of funding.

People are nuts! Ladyemma you are talking out of your arse! Me and my dp used to live 70 miles apart and he'd stay for two nights at the weekend, should I have claimed us as a couple them for a joint claim?! I paid all the bills etc, I didn't expect a contribution, him paying his petrol costs coming to see me, cooking me dinner to give me a break from my DS was enough. I wasn't committing benefit fraud thank you very much! People get fucking hysterical about this sort of stuff and it's always the thicko tax payers that seem to think all of their "hard worked tax" is JUST going on benefits when it actually is quite a small pecentage. Stay out OP it's none of your business!

OP doesn't sound bitter at all?!

OP, just report them already. It will be pretty clear it's all a lie when the joint house purchase is flagged up!

ilovesooty obvious cross post???

you are suggesting some kind of prostitution for single parents!

sadly, I'm afraid this is how some people think of us. I shout so loudly sometimes it hurts but it seems much of it falls on deaf ears. Trying to myth-bust about single parents is like nailing the proverbial jelly to the wall.

Sigh..... It's based on what dsd told me fidelineish . Not my words, hers.

I'm not bitter, clearly you find that hard to believe. I think dsd mum has had a rubbish few years and I'm very glad she's settled and happy now, doesn't change the fact that I don't think this is really the way to go about saving a house deposit.

Ring a few of those rooms-by-the-hour 'hotels' to discover the market rate Derek

Maybe they list them on yell.com?

I bet the majority of posters saying ignore it, it's none of your business, benefit fraud is miniscule blah blah blah are the first people to rant about tax evasion or even legal tax avoidance.

petit I don't particularly have an interest in her or her life. Dsd told me this information this morning as part of a conversation about computer games! It wasn't solicited, she just mentioned it randomly. And yes I've just been pondering on it a bit, doesn't seem to me that's exactly taking an interest in her personal affairs?

Having the welfare state run by 9 year olds would be equally problematic OP.

You do sound much less bitter as the thread wears on, it's true. Maybe it is better just to let it go? Forget she told you?

I know Fedup it's shit isn't it - we can't do anything right - I work ergo I abandon my children to childcare and fail them - if I didn't I'd be a sponger on benefits

but I claim tax credits in order to work - that's also wrong and spongy

I'm not allowed a relationship because that means I am cheating the system and the man should suddenly support me

I have supported myself since age 17 - when I began work and got a bedsit - I worked 4 jobs throughout uni and self funded my postgrad - I have 'paid tax' all my life

I married and I continued to work and we claimed nothing but CB - then he left

now I am a bad person

But yes, I think people should pay towards board and lodging if they are making use of it, when they can easily afford it (he is well paid) and when otherwise it is being paid for by the taxpayer under the misapprehension that there is no alternative source of funding.

So, if someone in a council house invites a family member to stay for the night, should they charge the individual to stay?

If so, should they then inform the DWP that they have additional income from renting out rooms?

YANBU. My name isnt on any bills at our house, as we have moved into DPs while we save for a more permanent home.

Would it be ok then for us to claim single person council tax?

Well, Derek I hope you're now going to detail the fact that he might pay for meals out that you would otherwise have had to fund from your benefits thus he is indirectly contributing. Some posters on here clearly expect it. After all they're paying for you.

Are people really this thick??

FWIW, for those mentioning me in relation to eatshitderek's posts! I've made no comment on that at all as I don't have any real issue with her situation.. You can't expect someone you're genuinely in a non co-habiting relationship to support you.. I'm talking about the situation described in the OP.. Clear?

Sorry x-post with Derek