To be annoyed by this (yes, benefits related, sorry)

[Spotbakesacake]

Name changed for this.

Dsd is with is is week. She randomly just dropped in to the conversation that her mums bf has moved a lot of his stuff back to his parents as he has moved back there in order that they can get more money which they need to buy a house in August. He still visits every day and stays over some nights. She was talking about his Xbox and said it was at his parents as he needed to have enough things there to convince 'them' that he didn't live there anymore.

To me this reads that he has nominally moved out in order that the mum can claim housing benefit again (as she only works a couple of days a week)

They have reserved a new build house that should be ready in august, dsd says they don't have enough money for it yet though.

The bf is in a well paid job, I think he earns nearly as much as dh actually. They are obviously impatient to move which I do understand. But this doesn't seem a very honest way to go about it. Dh and I saved for ages to have a house deposit.

Dh told me that his ex has been investigated for benefit fraud before although I have no idea what for, that was years ago. I only know because she thought it was him that reported her (he wasn't)

It's not that I have anything against dsd mum, I don't really know her but she seems nice enough. And it's not that I have any plans to try and report her or anything (unless people think I should!) I realise I know nothing like the full story. I'm just feeling rather grr about it.

Derek do you not feel ashamed of taking money of other taxpayers if/when you don't need to? Benefits are a safety net not a free ticket. If your BF is willing to contribute to your expenses then it would be MUCH more moral to allow him too and to reduce the burden you place on the welfare system so that more money can go to those who do not have that choice. Not saying you are acting illegally, but I do question the honour/ morality of your position.

I feel quite sure you would have something to say about Derek introducing several new partners to her children should she move in too quickly with a boyfriend because she is scared of the judgements people like you make.

Or is the usual anti-single mum shit that is peddled on sites like these...we shouldn't have children if we can't afford them, should have worked harder at our marriages, should have thought about that before we left our perfectly nice husbands on decent wages, should have thought about that before our husbands ran off with their secretaries or indeed, should just give up our children for adoption because lord knows, single mums only breed for the benefits and we can't have any more of that type of children around our perfect children, can we?

Derek - ignore this shit. Way too many people just don't have a clue.

ilovesooty not exhausted thanks, quite the opposite despite a demanding job that allows me to provide for myself and not screw the system and use other's money to forward my life and lifestyle..

put

wow Happygirl pays enough tax to fund everyones benefits - amazing thanks for my tax credits Happy Girl

You sound like a jealous, bitter busybody OP. Why on earth do you care so much what someone unconnected to you is doing with their life? How very dare he earn nearly as much as your DH, that won't do will it. Mind your own.

I feel quite sure you would have something to say about Derek introducing several new partners to her children should she move in too quickly with a boyfriend because she is scared of the judgements people like you make.

Exactly. Not to mention the multiple break-ups and house moves and general instability for her DC that would ensue. That would allow a 5* bitching session.

fid in no way will I be getting involved. I'm just moaning, because I think it's a a bit of a rubbish thing to do. Dsd only mentioned it this morning, by this evening I'm sure it will have taken the relevant position in the back of my mind.

Partially your money? Yes, I'm sure obsessing over that tiny amount of money Mr Taxman spends on fraudulently claimed benefits out of your tax is worth it!

petit I don't think that's the tone of my posts at all! but whatever. And she's hardly unconnected to me is she, seeing as her daughter is my step daughter.

haha I shall ring him now and inform him that, after 2 weeks, he has to move in and pay my mortgage poor man

and poor me - I HATE sharing my bed

I have spent all her tax money on wine and guinea pigs this weekend

tax payers pigs

It was the tone of Derek's post that riled me. Remember:

"I am seeing someone. I am on benefits and he stays here once/twice a week. [He] Doesn't pay anything. He has a well paid job. It's legally and morally fine IMO."

Well, I disagree about it being morally fine. Her post was rather entitled and throw away. Maybe the moral position is that the BF SHOULD pay something if he is staying there one or two nights a week at taxpayer's expense whilst in a well paid job. I said nothing about having him move in before time or having a rushed relationship. He is already sleeping over on a regular basis, just not paying a penny towards it.

You husband's liability for child support has nothing to do with anyone's income but his own.

You're making it up about the boyfriend's salary.

Petit is right - that is exactly the tone of your OP.

I wish some of these people who think they have a right to dictate how 'their' tax is spent would try not paying tax for a year or two. HMRC would soon acquaint them with their true rights and responsibilities.

LadyEmma, gosh, you think men should have to pay to have sex with women on benefits now?

What planet are you on.

the boyfriend IS a TAXPAYER so it's at his expense really he is in no way obliged to pay towards her or her childs 'keep'

you are suggesting some kind of prostitution for single parents!

Errr.... linerunner why on earth would I make it up! Dsd mums bf also pays child support and she told dh how much he pays, it was in the region of how much dh pays so not hard to draw the conclusion that they probably earn a similar amount. That's all.

Think some pupil are being (deliberately?) a bit stupid here. I believe in the welfare state passionately. I'd hate to live in a country that didn't have it.. I have been on income support.. For 6 months 20 years ago when my daughter was a baby and I split up with her dad.. I was on it until I got myself a uni place and funding (luckily I had childcare).. If i
I hadn't had childcare I'd have had to wait until my daughter was school age as I couldn't have paid for child care..

It was shit being on benefits.. I was so poor and couldn't afford to do anything nice and could hardly pay the bills, no help from ex until CSA forced him.. Anyone who says being on benefits is an easy ride is mad. It's soul destroying and hard.

We need a welfare state for those who NEED it. This is NOT what the OP is describing. She is describing the selfishness of two people manipulating a system for their financial gain and to forward their lifestyle. Tax payers money is (at least partially) funding their house deposit. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT RIGHT???

So FUCKING REPORT HER THEN.

Not jealous, not bitter, just don't think it's the right way to go about saving money. I'd think that whoever it was, it just happens to be dsd mum.