27 year old Grandmother

[bongobaby]

Her 12 year old daughter has given birth last Sundayand the dad is 13. She fell pregnant in year 6 of primary school. They are totally in love and into each other and want to get married.
Why an earth would you want to be a grandmother at 27 with a daughter of 12 now a mother.

LaQueen and Kareninsgirl: I was so relieved to read your posts on here. I was feeling pretty demoralised until then. Thank goodness I am not the only one has no desire to encourage my children to have sex (though it does feel that way on here sometimes).

Nobody is encouraging their children to have sex. In fact several people have pointed out that they would rather their children didn't have sex and would rather they wait until they were older (so hardly encouragement) however we live in the real world here. We know that if teenagers have decided to have sex then they will and no amount of "you should wait", "it's illegal" and "you shouldn't be encouraging them" is going to stop them. People have merely said that they would do everything to make sure their children are protected for if/when they do decide to have sex (e.g being on the pill, having condoms).

You can have all the harsh words with them as you want and express as much disappointment as you want however that's still not going to stop them if they are determined to do it. That's what people have been trying to say.

Nobody has said they would be happy about their underage teenagers having sex. Again several people have mentioned that they wouldn't be happy about it and hope that they'd wait until they were older. However if they do decide to have sex they would rather they were protected and doing it safely.

Nobody actually wants their teenagers to have sex underage FFS.

So so sad a child of this age is a mother!

I had my first 2 kids very young first at 17 2nd at 20, and if there is anything I tell my kids is "dont do what I did" go out into the big bad world and explore it before being tied down with kids!

The harsh words and impending explosion from their parents just make teens better at hiding what they are doing.

yes, laqueen , that is my reading too, as if there is no real limit at all and 11 and 15 are pretty much the same

The harsh words and impending explosion from their parents just make teens better at hiding what they are doing.

Whoops dont know why thats there twice.

My parents thought I knew where I was, the reality was different. I was probably 5ft 6 at 12 with DD boobs and looked a lot older.
I said I was in town - really I was with a 17 year old boyfriend. So yes at 12 I had the opportunity to have sex. I didn't, although we went further than just kissing
My parents weren't neglectful, they just trusted me too much

People just read what they want on here. Even when it isnt even there.

Not in my bleddy house. Not ever.

They probably won't be doing it in your house when they decide to whatever their age may be.

Anyone who decides to have sex at 14, 15 may or may not be emotionally ready for it. I would suspect in most cases of this age group having sex don't know until after it's done.

You can't physically stop a 14 or 15 year old having sex if that is what they want to do.

I would much rather my daughter came to me and told me she was going to have sex so I could reinforce about precautions. I wouldn't encourage it and would most likely talk about waiting a while longer but your damn sure I would make sure she had anything and everything available to her to protect herself from unwanted pregnancy or STIs. Although I think I would have failed in that department of parenting if she didn't already know about sex and appropriate protection.

I was on the pill from age 12. And I can't remember a time that I didn't know where the condoms were kept, they were in a cupboard in the bathroom not squirrelled away anywhere secret. They were stored the same as the cotton buds or nail varnish remover.

"People can interpret what they read on here, in whatever way they want"

They can interpret it however they like. Doesnt mean that's what was said.

I was in nightclubs at 13 almost 14. My Mum and Dad thought I was having a nice girly sleepover with popcorn and legally blonde. Teenagers can be very sneaky if they want to be.

Im also shocked at 14/15 year olds being chauffeured everywhere. Didnt you ever want to be alone with your friends? Go shopping? Take a walk? Didnt you have a saturday job? What about school holidays- did you have a babysitter?

Same cupid! We used to put pjs and face masks on and take photos of us all having a giggle eating popcorn then get changed and go out because we knew our parents checked our phones so wanted to leave evidence that we'd been good girls.

yes, laqueen , that is my reading too, as if there is no real limit at all and 11 and 15 are pretty much the same shock

Nobody said that 11 and 15 are the same. Those two are separate discussions.

So what about school holidays and saturday jobs and once you were at your friends houses? Were you never alone with them? Always a parent in the room? Didnt you ever go for walks to meet with boys?