To not invite my family to DS's Christening.

[Writerwannabe83]

Me and DH have a 3 week old baby and the subject of getting him Christened was raised a lot during the pregnancy. My DH is eager to get it done whereas I'm not. Neither me or DH are remotely religious and he only wants it done to open up schooling options. Although he did once say his parents would be disappointed if we didn't Christen DS.

After numerous discussions I have said that seeing as DH is so adamant then he can get DS Christened. I actually googled whether both parents need to be there because the whole farce of it does not appeal to me at all. Unfortunately I would have to be present.

All of my family are non-religious. When I told my mom we were getting DS Christened she pulled a face and said, "You don't expect me to be there do you?" I absolutely don't and told her this. I said I wouldn't be going if I had a choice.

To be honest none of my family would be interested - I'd be embarrassed at making them sit through it - so I've told my DH I probably won't even invite them.

DH was not too impressed.

But seriously, I'm not religious and don't believe in the Ceremony and nor do my family so what's the issue if they're not there?

As far as I'm concerned it can just be me through force, DH, his parents and the people he wants as Godparents. I've said there's no way we're making a big song and dance about it. Definitely no gifts or after party

I'm cringing at just the thought of it all....

Christenings are lovely. I don't think you have to be a regular prayer or church attendee to go along and celebrate a rite of passage with your baby :)

Your DH sounds like he doesn't really think things through. So much fuss about school which is years off. Did you know he was hypocritical?

Barbara

Christenings are lovely, but so is any gathering to celebrate a baby's birth. Christenings are very religious.

" my DH is adamant about the Christening/Baptism happening when DS is a young - and admitted it was because DS wouldn't be aware of it and embarrassed by it"

Eh?

Blimey, I'm on a roll here.

Why do you think naming ceremonies are "pretentious"? They are a celebration to welcome a baby to a community of friends and family. They can be as formal or informal as you want. I fail to see what is pretentious about that

Pretending to be a believer to gain a place a school is "pretentious2 and you seem willing to go along with that for the sake of matiral compromise.

I agree with Barbara they are lovely.
Lots of ppl "go along" with stuff for marital harmony. So long as there's some reciprocity along the way, it's just compromise isn't it? And it's a hard old marriage without some compromise.

Newt - why is it called a Naming Ceremony though? I don't get it. If it's just an excuse for a party then people should just be honest about it without trying to dress it up as something special. My son is very loved by all my family, he is already part of and welcome in the family, he has a name..... So what does a naming ceremony achieve? As I've said, it's just an excuse for a party which has been given some kind of fancy pants title that actually doesn't mean anything. That's why I think it's pretentious.

amanda - I agree, it is about compromise. I don't particularly want it done but DH does - where's the harm in letting it go ahead if it's something he feels strongly about. And as sad as it is, christening children for education purposes is probably very, very common - of if not for education purposes then just because parents feel it should be done 'just because' not because they actually attach any meaning to it. I think it's wrong and disrespectful to the church and the faith but it's what happens.

Well, IMO that's better than dressing up a way of wangling yourself a place at a particular school as being welcomed into the house of God

Which as I've said I'm against doing.

Oh I dunno. There's nothing I wouldn't do for my DCs (I don't think) and if I believed that their interests could only reasonably be served in a faith school I wouldn't be averse to joining a church/ having them christened to help that along.
My DS attends a C/E school because it's our local community school. We attend church regularly because I like the sense of community. Im sure that other church means have varying degrees of belief. church membership is a funny old thing.
If I had strong views against the church however, then I'd not like to be pressed into a christening for my DCs, or for them to attend a faith school.

OP, I would wait to see whether your DH just runs out of steam on this one. Take it gently.