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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let dh be in sole charge of 3dc at the swimming pool

55 replies

PrincessScrumpy · 08/04/2014 13:04

Dh and I took our 3dds swimming. At the end of our swim, dh said he thought one of us should go and get dry and dressed then it would be easier to get the girls sorted. This meaning dh or I would be in the pool alone for a few minutes with 2 two-year-olds and a 6 year old (who can sort of swim). Pool rules are 2 non swimming dc per adult. It was quiet and all dc can touch the bottom in the learner pool, plus 2yos had arm bands but I know I'd never forgive myself if anything happened and dh isn't always brilliant at observation. (He's a fab farther btw). Anyway, I said no so we didn't do it but dh made it clear he thought I was nuts. Aibu?

OP posts:
NoIamAngelaHernandez · 08/04/2014 13:06

I think Yabu, as it was only for a very short time.
I supervise 2 non swimming, no armband children in their depth no problems.

Joules68 · 08/04/2014 13:06

Yabu to say 'not let DH' he's an adult and equal to you as a parent

TravellingToad · 08/04/2014 13:07

i think you're a bit unreasonable. they're in arm bands and can touch the bottom and are in the learner pool!

akachan · 08/04/2014 13:07

Would he let you?

BarbarianMum · 08/04/2014 13:08

He must be a really crap dad if you couldn't trust him to do this in the circumstances you describe!

MrsRuffdiamond · 08/04/2014 13:09

There would be lifeguards there, too, if anyone got into difficulties, wouldn't there?

TheDoctorsNewKidneys · 08/04/2014 13:10

YABU. He's an adult, it's not your job to "let" him do anything!

HecatePropylaea · 08/04/2014 13:10

I think so, yes. Unless you are actually saying that he is so incompetent that he cannot be relied upon to keep his children safe. If you are saying that, and you truly believe that, then that is a huge problem that needs to be sorted out asap.

Original poster
PrincessScrumpy · 08/04/2014 13:11

Yes we are equal parents but by me not agreeing I effectively ruled against it and didn't let it happen. I think watching 2 dc is different to watching 3. I take my dtds swimming on my own Most weeks.

OP posts:
FrontForward · 08/04/2014 13:11

YABU and overly anxious

treaclesoda · 08/04/2014 13:12

My DD goes to swimming lessons every week where there are ten non swimmers in the pool with no adult in the water with them. They can all touch the bottom. That's pretty standard so I think for your dh to supervise his own 3 for a couple of mins is no big deal.

I do understand the 'I'd never forgive myself...' thing btw but that way of thinking can drive you mad. There are always things you could never forgive yourself for if an accident happened, but that doesn't mean that they are an irresponsible thing to do.

I do understand

wigglesrock · 08/04/2014 13:12

So they can all in the water, it's not busy, 2 have armbands on and their father can reach them all - he suggests that you nip out a few minutes early to make getting them all dried easier? Yes I think YABU, I would assume there would be of a risk having a six year old, 2 two year olds & 2 adults wet & drying to get dried in a hurry from slipping.

HecatePropylaea · 08/04/2014 13:12

Sorry, it's not clear. Were you of the opinion that neither one of you was capable of keeping the three children safe in the pool, or that you would have been able to but he would not?

Just wondering if he thought the latter because that would explain why he felt you were unreasonable.

HoldOnHoldOnSoldier · 08/04/2014 13:13

Yabu.

He is a grown man I presume, it is really not your place to 'let' him do anything Confused

treaclesoda · 08/04/2014 13:13

oops, extra words at the end of my post!

lizzzyyliveson · 08/04/2014 13:13

The life guard at our local pool would have come over and asked him to get out with all the children if they noticed the ratio. You have potentially saved your DH from an embarrassing situation. Stick to your guns. Children drown in seconds.

wigglesrock · 08/04/2014 13:13

stand in the water

Original poster
PrincessScrumpy · 08/04/2014 13:13

He's a great dad. I wouldn't want to be in sole charge of them in the pool myself. Firstly, it's against the rules so yes there's a lifeguard but still our responsibility, secondly, they don't all stay together so it's hard to watch all 3.

OP posts:
HavantGuard · 08/04/2014 13:14

'The pool rules are 2 non swimming dc per adult'

So it doesn't really matter what each of you thought.

ilovepowerhoop · 08/04/2014 13:14

you wouldnt even be allowed in our local pools with 3 children of those ages and only 2 adults as the adult:child ratio is 1:1 for children under 4 and 1:2 children over 4 so in your scenario there would need to be 3 adults.

Nocomet · 08/04/2014 13:14

YABU if the six year old can touch the bottom.

However, he ought also take the six year old on their own, as it's time they learnt to swim properly and you can stop worrying.

honeythewitch · 08/04/2014 13:15

I think you should follow whatever the safety rules are, and "sort of" being able to swim probably counts as a non swimmer.
Why not take the six year old to get changed with you and leave him with the smaller ones?

Cigarettesandsmirnoff · 08/04/2014 13:15

It didn't really matter if you OR dh was right.

The lifeguard probably would have come over and turfed one of them out. Dem da rulz!

ilovepowerhoop · 08/04/2014 13:18

is it not also easier in the showers if there are 2 adults to help get all the children washed?

BirdieWhirlie · 08/04/2014 13:19

I am uber-conservative on about pools, but I think you're being ridiculous. He would be in the pool with them and they can touch the bottom! The risk of them drowning is extraordinarily low in those circumstances.

That said, if the rules say two non-swimmers to one adult, then so be it.