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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what ethnic /cultural mix are you childrens friends

169 replies

Fusedog · 07/04/2014 15:09

My son is black British he has

Polish
Mixed raced black/Asian
Mixed race d black/white
Pakistani
Sheikh
Latvian
And this lad from Peru

White

Just a non thread really but was talking about this with my sister all my nephews friends are black not a big deal but I defo thik he will be poorer for it

OP posts:
Original poster
Fusedog · 07/04/2014 15:10

My ds is 15 not sure if that makes any difference

OP posts:
Mrswellyboot · 07/04/2014 15:11

My DS is only six months Grin
Lots of nationalities and cultures at baby group.

WorraLiberty · 07/04/2014 15:12

Much the same as yours if you swap Peru for Lithuania I suppose.

Feminine · 07/04/2014 15:13

I'm guessing for our eldest son (15) White British and Polish, Indian and Black British.

My younger 2 (10 &5) white British and Polish.

Our children are half American.

We live in a tiny Village.

BackforGood · 07/04/2014 15:13

I'd have thought it's going to depend where in the country you are.
All my dc have a mix of nationalities and cultures amongst their friends, but we live in a big City - I'm guessing there just isn't the same mix in some parts of the country.

FloozeyLoozey · 07/04/2014 15:14

Just mixed black and white. This is not by choice, we just live in a very white area and there isn't much ethnic diversity.

MannishBoy · 07/04/2014 15:14

Depends on what they have in common. Friends tend to be people you have things in common with, not what race / colour they are.

BackforGood · 07/04/2014 15:14

oh! x-posted and proved wrong! Grin

Burren · 07/04/2014 15:15

Is 'Sheikh' Sikh? I was staring at it in bafflement.

The race of your nephew's friends alone hardly reflects their diversity - they could be anything from Black British with origins in a number of places, or recently-arrived immigrant Africans from anywhere on a huge, culturally-diverse continent, after all?

newfavouritething · 07/04/2014 15:16

Every one of their friends and classmates are white, and almost all English (a couple of European). We rarely see anything other than white faces here. It's only something that bothers me when I read things like this, as I then realise that it's not the norm in the UK, nothing I can do about it though.

Wherediparkmybroom · 07/04/2014 15:16

Generally white and horrible! He has a couple of nice friends but I cringe when he says can so and so come to play.

thebody · 07/04/2014 15:16

Meh, my kids pick friends because they like them.

Never once considered their race, religion or for that matter social background.

Who cares.

lynniep · 07/04/2014 15:16

Poorer? Really? does he not just play with the local kids/young adults? The fact that they are all black is kind of incidental isn't it?
My kids play with whoever they are exposed to at school/nursery whatever. That is dictated by the local population.
I'm going to assume you meant that he would be perhaps more 'culturally nourished' which is kind of a wanky phrase but thats what sprung to mind - if he were exposed to other ethnic and cultural mixes. Is that what you meant by 'poorer'? Do you think he will be less broadminded when he grows up or something?
He probably just wants to hang out with his mates.

Beamur · 07/04/2014 15:17

Where we live is not very diverse, but DD has a few friends who are mixed race, I also have a friend who is Sikh and she's met their children several times.
DD doesn't seem to notice either way, although she did make the mistake of greeting a chap with a turban with a very cheery 'Hi' and was a bit abashed when I pointed out to her later that it wasn't actually our friend that we'd seen.

I think it is better for children to grow up aware of living in a wider diversity of cultures.

Mitchy1nge · 07/04/2014 15:17

we ARE the ethnic and cultural mix in our area

Feminine · 07/04/2014 15:18

Oh, was I supposed to worry about it?

I just made a list Grin

dontwanttobefatandforty · 07/04/2014 15:18

Out of both my children, 16 & 14 there is 1 Chinese friend.

Ragwort · 07/04/2014 15:19

We live in an incredibly white area, in fact one of the student teachers commented that when she had to do a study of ethnic groups she couldn't even do it where we live & had to go to an 'inner-city' school for a secondment. Sad.

I think it leads to very restricted & narrow view of modern society and I don't like it - that's why I do care thebody.

MistressDeeCee · 07/04/2014 15:20

I agree with the body

& fancy breaking down childrens' friendships into ' my nephew's friends are black he will be poorer for it'. I wouldn't even think of involving myself in my DCs friendships in terms of race, I don''t care which race their friends are its up to them. Sometimes you really can create an issue where there isn't one.

Cobain · 07/04/2014 15:21

Unfortunately very little diversity where I live, so their friends are white.

WilsonFrickett · 07/04/2014 15:21

All my son's friends are white British, but we live in a tiny village in Scotland. Was of course much more diverse at his last inner city school. I miss the ethnic diversity, when we first started at this school DS asked where all the brown faces were hiding so I know he's aware of it. That said I'm not sure he's 'poorer' for lack of diversity. And if he was, I'm not sure what I could do about it - actively targeting friends on the basis of their ethnicity seems a bit off...

Jinty64 · 07/04/2014 15:25

Ds2 and ds3's friends are all white British. Ds1 has a polish friend. Almost all he children in ds3's primary school are white British.

TruffleOil · 07/04/2014 15:25

White, Indian, Arab.

VivaLeBeaver · 07/04/2014 15:27

Dd is white, British.

Her friends are nearly all polish, Lithuanian. One Chinese friend and one white British.

Apart from the Eastern Europeans I don't live in a culturally diverse area.

WooWooOwl · 07/04/2014 15:27

One of my children goes to the local comp. All of his friends are white British. My other child goes to a grammar school, he is the only white British child in his little group, the others are Chinese, Asian (not sure which countries) and Iranian. That's why it always makes me chuckle on the grammar school debate threads where people complain about grammar schools not having enough diversity.