To ask what ethnic /cultural mix are you childrens friends

[Fusedog]

My son is black British he has

Polish
Mixed raced black/Asian
Mixed race d black/white
Pakistani
Sheikh
Latvian
And this lad from Peru

White

Just a non thread really but was talking about this with my sister all my nephews friends are black not a big deal but I defo thik he will be poorer for it

My eldest is the only white kid in the class, and he's three quarters Polish. His class are made of mainly Sri Lankan Tamils, and people from Pakistan, India, Azerbaijan, Malaysia, Qatar and also Burundi. The only ones I know who have a British born parent have parents who are Pakistani British and Scottish, and someone who is half white British with a father from Sri Lanka. It's very multicultural and I'd estimate 70% or so were born outside the UK, but most of them moved over very young. I know in his school there are quite a few people from around the world and his class isn't unusual. It's an interesting mix as I also grew up in a multicultural area but it was less than this. Don't think it matters really.

I'm not sure your question is logical extension of my statement Nigella however - why are so many people obnoxious about (certain ethnicities)

• We're not taught about our own long history of immigration - e.g. how many people think that African and Caribbean people first came here in the 1950s? And how many people know about the history of African slavery in the UK?

• "White British" people are often taught to think of themselves as a homogenous community but many of us do have a much more diverse background then we think as I've mentioned. On the surface my hometown looks pretty 'English' but scratch that surface and you see a broader picture.

• We're encouraged to think that immigration is threatening our resources and other cultures are taking our jobs / money / benefits by the press.

• We're also don't see ourselves as the other. For example, a friend shared and liked one of those Facebook posts about 'Immigrants taking our benefits/jobs/homes' and I pointed out that HE had immigrant parents. They live in Spain but apparently that doesn't 'count' as being an immigrant

• In my experience the people who are most obnoxious are the ones who haven't grown up in diverse areas. It's always the small town friends who post every Christmas about 'You're not allowed to say Christmas any more because of the Muslims' - when I point out that (unlike them) I've lived in areas that have high Muslim and Jewish populations and our local community & local authority has Christmas lights, Christmas fairs, community events - my opinion is either deleted or ignored.

Thinking about it, his friends from outside school have a higher number of white people however they're mostly Polish as we went to a Polish playgroup when he was younger and they stuck as friends, but there are two friends of his (brothers) who are Mauritania.

thanks tondelay - i just always wonder when well meaning people such as yourself state that diversity is a good thing, and yet there is so much casual racism on an everyday level.

My DC's friends were all white as there were no children from any different ethnic backgrounds in the school at all.

They used to find it fascinating to go to other places and see people from different cultures.

I used to find them staring at people, not because they were rude but because they'd never seen these people in real life life before.

Rural Norfolk. All white British. There was a girl in dd's class for a term who was from a forces family. They were black and dd came home amazed that "a girl in my class is American Mum". There are more social differences. From the family who have staff and a pool to the ones who live in a bedsit and most in between.

Myself and dh were only taking recently about how different things are now to when we grew up. When I was young there was one black person in the whole village, he was adopted so his family were all white, and when I was 12 a Dutch family moved in. That was it, every one else was white, irish and Catholic! Now in my 12 year olds class of 21 children only 4, including him, were born in Ireland. Every one else is from countries such as Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Nigeria etc.

Everyone in my 3 year old's nursery is white english. He's the nearest they have to diversity as he's bilingual and half-welsh!

All white British, we don't have ethic minorities at our school and indeed only 2 families I can think of in my entire town.

TS, I don't think that white British people do think of themselves as a homogenous group at all.

My relatives with younger children all seem to think that "naturally acquiring" friends from different economic backgrounds is more beneficial than ethnic diversity.
I happen to agree with her as somebody of a Jamaican background. Too many from my background are fixated on singing and kicking a ball, not for the love but for some chance to be rich. Too many love the "get rich quick" mentality, too and tend to draw near to those of different races who have that same mentality (which can be a pain to live).
As excellence through education doesn't seem to be the primary concern for the majority of second and successive generations of those of a West Indian background, I'd say that my younger relatives are of the right mind. Thinking that somebody is going to be "enlightened" by consciously hanging around with races that are different than their own is naive and patronising. No one is more integrated with the "indigenous" population than the apparent over fifty percent of black men (mostly of West Indian) origin who are in interracial relationships with white women. However Black men of West Indian origin and too many black/white mixed race men are top or near the top of the charts of "negativity".
As with everything in life (and I fail to follow my own advice, sometimes) , it's the quality of friends that one has, the broadness of mind and height of self esteem in said friends that matters. I've not necessarily found Loads of friends from different ethnicities races = escape from a narrow viewpoint. In fact , a lot of times it's just a case "of birds of a feather flock together". Just like George Bush's ethnically and racially diverse cabinet. (Before the politically Correct and supported by the majority of African Americans Democrat party). And they were crazy as all hell.
Race doesn't matter in friendship. "Friendship" in friendship is what matters.
And yes, I do have male friends of different races than me. However, all of my female friends are black of different ethnicities. That's how the chips fell and scattered. I had to "correct" my ex white female friend as she was too "down" with what she considered to be black culture as her partner is black. I started to feel like a "Mammy" and she was very resilient to "learning" unless it was "confirmed" by her boyfriend. I sometimes wonder if they have that "black women are too angry" conversation between them. Ah, well!

DD's closest friends are White British (2), Pakistani (1), Chinese (1), English/Indian dual heritage (1) English/Japanese dual heritage (1), English/Guyanese dual heritage (1), Kuwaiti (1). She is also dual heritage herself. There are tons of other ethnicities in her school, and the school is brilliant at celebrating them all.

We live in a smallish town. :)

Sadly, there is much less economic diversity, despite it being a state school. Mostly very middle class.

My DD is mixed herself but has all white friends apart from one Asian lad. Not much choice for her to have 'diverse' friends as the whole town is basically white.

Mine go to an International School in the ME.

In terms of cultural diversity, it is huge.

In terms of economic diversity it is quite narrow, most families here are quite able to pay the high school fees.

SophieElmer, how ridiculous. If we lived in a tiny village in rural Ireland you might have a point, but living in Greater London we are friends and neighbours to people with a huge diversity of culture and religion.

Just because she goes to a Catholic school doesn't mean she only experiences one culture - as I said, her friends have a wide variety of backgrounds and the school itself teaches about other religions.

School is such a tiny part of her life... I'm really quite bemused by your comment!

Devonian or Cornish with the odd smattering of Zummerzet

1% of the 300 kids at DC primary are not white british.. little-DS is friends with one of the alternative kids, kind of an achievement!

Among DC at secondary, I think DD has one sort-of mate who is non-white; she was saying that there's only 1 or 2 non-white kids in the 200 at her secondary, too. There was a polish boy in her primary class one yr, I think. Class wise her friends are all very much like us (not much diversity, there).

Rural Scotland.

Mostly white Scottish with a few white English and Irish folk too.

We are in London, so its united nations-stylee round here. Good job, as our family is Irish-Jamaican-Guyanese.

DD's good friends are from Mauritian, Turkish, Algerian, Polish and white British backgrounds.

DS's best friends are from white British, Israeli and Ghanian backgrounds.

Only white british friends here, in both the dc's classes.

DD is white European but not British. her friends are a mix of white British, Sri Lankan, Polish, Italian, Spanish and American.

stooshe - well said and exactly my view too! Self hatred is a curse. argh!

and don't talk about the mixing of the west indian men only to still be vilified by the media and the racism faced to get good jobs. Oh please. That's the point, they mix to get the so called 'leg up' and realise that the more things change, the more they stay the same!

What I find surprising OP is that your son's black friends are 'mixed race' as you have carefully noted - please does he have any fully black friends (if there is such a thing as fully any race given human history) do tell me was that deliberate that he has no fully black friends? And if so, how is this a good thing? (I am only asking because you seem to live in a diverse community given his other friends...)

Instructions - In your response, when you explain why having no fully black friends is a good thing - please also explain why it does not equate with self hate. Thank you.

Hmmm. I'm a bit lost with regards to the disagreements on this thread.

I have always chosen my friends based on liking them as people, as am sure my kids do, but I am grateful that I grew up in an area where I had the opportunity to mix with people from different backgrounds. It definitely HAS enriched my life and given me a broader view of the world. Hoping it is the same for my children. No shame in that, surely?