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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what ethnic /cultural mix are you childrens friends

169 replies

Fusedog · 07/04/2014 15:09

My son is black British he has

Polish
Mixed raced black/Asian
Mixed race d black/white
Pakistani
Sheikh
Latvian
And this lad from Peru

White

Just a non thread really but was talking about this with my sister all my nephews friends are black not a big deal but I defo thik he will be poorer for it

OP posts:
Sparklysilversequins · 07/04/2014 20:23

Dd's friendship group includes:-

Somali - best friend
Arabic
Indian
American.

90sthrowback · 07/04/2014 20:28

DD is probably the most ethnically diverse in her friendship group at her predominantly White British village primary school. She is of Irish / Eastern European / Asian heritage.

DS goes to the much larger secondary where the demographic is much more varied.

mummy1973 · 07/04/2014 20:56

Yabu. It depends on so many factors. We live in a town that is not diverse at all. DC have friends they are attracted to. We have a diverse family. Some they like, some they love, some they don't!

fayrae · 07/04/2014 21:10

I think if your children don't have friends of at least 10 different ethnicities, you're pretty much a racist.

RufusTheReindeer · 07/04/2014 21:16

I'm assuming you are joking fayrae

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 07/04/2014 21:20

Pretty well all white British (as we are) that's the overwhelming majority in our town. They have a cousin who is mixed race (black/white) and an aunt who is black. DD also has a friend who is mixed race (black/white) and there is a Filipino boy in her class.

ouryve · 07/04/2014 21:21

With very few exceptions predominantly WASP. I don't live in a particularly diverse area.

RufusTheReindeer · 07/04/2014 21:24

Not a very diverse area

So mainly white British

fayrae · 07/04/2014 21:26

Yes my post was a joke. I hoped it wouldn't be necessary to point that out.

RufusTheReindeer · 07/04/2014 21:28

Well I did think it was Grin

But then I panicked and thought you can never tell on mumsnet!

MoominMammasHandbag · 07/04/2014 21:35

Interesting. We live in a very white area.

DS1 has an African best mate and, since he's been at Uni, a Sikh girlfriend.
DD1 has all white friends (and she has a lot of friends).
DS2 has one black/white friend in his group.

DD2 has on the surface the most diverse group of friends; African, Chinese and British Asian. However they all have parents who are Doctors, and are very much the "brainy girls" group, the parents all seem to have very similar values to DP and me.

dementedma · 07/04/2014 21:39

Pretty much all white British where we are. Makes no difference to me. Could be rainbow striped for all I care.

AntiJamDidi · 07/04/2014 21:41

Dd1 has mostly white british friends, because that's what the majority of people are around here. She does have a couple of friends who are Chinese, one Polish friend and her best friend is German, which makes her pretty unusual in her school bearing in mind that there are only 10 pupils who are not white British in the whole school (secondary, over 1500 pupils there in total)

Dd2 has a Chinese friend at pre-school, had an Indian friend at the cm until she moved away, and an Ukrainian friend because I'm friends with his mum. The pre-school she goes to only has 1 non-white child, and the primary she will start in September has only one family of non-white children at the moment.

PortofinoRevisited · 07/04/2014 21:46

Dd is at school in Brussels where 25% of population is foreign born - including her. I would say her school is 60 % catholic, 35% muslim and 5% other, with a huge range of nationalities. Polish, russian, tunisian, romanian, italian are the ones I know of. She will change schools in September and the headmistress told us they had kids from 40 different countries.

Eastpoint · 07/04/2014 21:47

My DCs go to selective private schools in London.

Their friends are

English
American
Japanese
Indian
Half Mexican half Korean
Half Chinese half English
Italian
Welsh
French
Russian
Chinese
Danish
Danish/Iranian
IndianBritish/English
Philippino
English/Polish
Korean/English
Scottish/English
Danish/Belgian

Original poster
Fusedog · 07/04/2014 22:47

poster idontgivearatsassjust to answer your question
Instructions - In your response, when you explain why having no fully black friends is a good thing - please also explain why it does not equate with self hate. Thank you.

there are only 6 fully black boys in his school and he is one of them lol mixed friends are from cadets and his Asian friends are from his school which is 97% Asian

Hope that answers so not self hate we live in a area with a very high Asian population

OP posts:
CrispyHedgeHog · 07/04/2014 23:03

Live in London - Irish/Italian mix

Italian
Greek
Jamaican
Nigerian
Somalian
Irish
Sierra Leone
Scottish
Swedish
Romanian
Albanian
Turkish
Kurdish
Ghanaian

Hippymama · 07/04/2014 23:06

Rural Shropshire. Pretty much everybody who lives here is white British.

CaffeinatedKitten · 07/04/2014 23:17

Oodles of all sorts of nationalities and languages in the school my older two go to. They were up to twenty four languages on the books at one point this school year. My eldest is a people person, so is friends with everyone, but her closer circle is a mix of White British, Black British, an Asian British girl (can't for the life of me remember which country her family are from) with a hefty number of Polish and Latvian children too. Before he left she had a friend from a Nigerian family too. They still wave maniacally at each other if they encounter each other running about on the way to places.

My son doesn't do well with other people, but used to like spending time with a Turkish girl in his previous class. His current friend is a White British girl.

It's awesome:o

uselessidiot · 07/04/2014 23:28

Tbh I don't actually know for sure what their ethnic background is. I've never asked.

However we live quite ruraly in a not really ethnically diverse area. From looking at the dc most look as if they have some sort of white background but could be from anywhere.

On the other hand many of dd1's classmates are the children of people I went to school with. So significant proportion are the second if not third/fourth generation to attend the school.

We're white ourselves but dds have ancestors from several different European countries.

WitchWay · 07/04/2014 23:42

DS 16 is white British
Closest friends are white British, British-born Indian (Hindu), British-born Indian (Sikh), British-born Pakistani, Britsh-born Chinese, British-born White/Chinese, British-born black African/white British

idontgivearatsass · 08/04/2014 00:57

Fusedog - thank you Grin

you have said 'there are only 6 fully black boys in his school and he is one of them lol mixed friends are from cadets and his Asian friends are from his school which is 97% Asian'

Have you taken this into account when comparing your son's diverse friends with his cousin's? What I mean is, is the cousin's environment as diverse as your son's?

cleofatra · 08/04/2014 01:53

Ive never thought about it. Hmm
They are just kids.

MistressDeeCee · 08/04/2014 02:08

OP your son is black british, you say. & your nephew has black friends and will be 'all the poorer for it'. Im guessing your probably discussed the 'whys' of your view with his mother. & looking through this thread I can't see where you've explained your reasons. Im thinking you are perhaps one of the deluded who believes having non-black friends will give your nephew a better standing in society. Have you moved to an area where there aren't many black people/you know your son will have less chance of mixing with children of his own background? Are you aiming for your son (who, if this is the case will no doubt end up confused) to be 'all the richer' for not having black friends?

MistressDeeCee · 08/04/2014 02:25

& saying there are only 6 black boys in your son's school doesn't seem to equate to why your nephew having black friends is an issue for you.