Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what ethnic /cultural mix are you childrens friends

169 replies

Fusedog · 07/04/2014 15:09

My son is black British he has

Polish
Mixed raced black/Asian
Mixed race d black/white
Pakistani
Sheikh
Latvian
And this lad from Peru

White

Just a non thread really but was talking about this with my sister all my nephews friends are black not a big deal but I defo thik he will be poorer for it

OP posts:
Lemongrab · 07/04/2014 15:29

Most of my dc's friends are white. My eldest had a Japanese friend for a while but she has now returned to Japan. My youngest knows and is friends with 2 children (siblings) who's parents are from India. We live in a village in the countryside.
I certainly don't think they'll ever be 'poorer' for not having friends from a multitude of races.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 07/04/2014 15:32

Mostly white. DSs (16 & 13) both know a few Polish children (also white) but most are British. Not a hugely diverse community here (smallest city in the Midlands).

DD's toddler group is an exclusively middle-class, white, British yummy-mummy type affair (not by policy - everyone is welcome, that is just who seems to go). I only go when I feel strong enough Hmm.

thebody · 07/04/2014 15:34

Ragwort why?

Personally if you are looking for issues I think it's far more important for kids to have mates from
Socially diverse backgrounds.

My 4 went to the local comp. they mixed with kids who lived in massive houses with both parents working as consultants while others were living in bed sits.

2 kids were looked after by the local authority and one had a tag.

The local private boarding school has loads of nationalities but they are all without exception rich and posh. These kids have far more in common with each other. Race and religion are no where near as diverse as rich and poor.

ThePortlyPinUp · 07/04/2014 15:34

99% White British, we live in a small village in Norfolk, it's not ethnically diverse.

WorraLiberty · 07/04/2014 15:36

Race and religion are no where near as diverse as rich and poor.

Absolutely spot on thebody

UniS · 07/04/2014 15:38

We live in an area that is pretty much a white European monoculture. I know a few people from Poland or Finland or Germany who live here

However in my kids class at school are children who live with both parent, one parent, adoptive parents, foster parents, grandparents .... Those who live on farms ( and get snowed in in winter), those who live in social housing, those who live in "nice suburban" houses and everywhere else in between.

Iwillorderthefood · 07/04/2014 15:42

South African, New Zealander, Russian, Ukrainian, Albanian, Indian, French, Polish, Portuguese, German, dual heritage Malaysian / welsh; American / English, Irish as well as British (who are of white, African, Indian and Pakistani descent). If I have managed to not say that right, I apologise no offence intended.

My DC are dual heritage white British / Sri Lankan Tamil. So they're diverse, but we live in a big city.

BertieBotts · 07/04/2014 15:43

I think this thread will kick off.

Actually I thought DS had mostly white friends but then realised that's out of his friends who he met because I met their mums if that makes sense. His nursery friends were more varied - Polish/Asian, Irish, Mixed race with one black, one white parent, the other 3 kids he was closest to were white British.

Now we live in Germany v close to the French border and they have loads of different nationalities - Italian, Turkish, Polish, Slovenian, American, German of course. But I don't know where his friends are from because I don't speak enough German.

somewherewest · 07/04/2014 15:43

Two year old DS isn't quite old enough from 'friends' but the toddlers/parents we socialise with it are mostly 'white British', with three exceptions (Chinese, Eastern European and white South African). DS is white (half Irish and half English). Its not intentional - our area just isn't terribly diverse. I never thought about it before this thread popped up.

BertieBotts · 07/04/2014 15:44

Oh well I can get points on the rich/poor thing too Grin Really odd mix of an area, where we used to live. Shocking deprivation or middle class haven, not much in between.

Iwillorderthefood · 07/04/2014 15:44

Socially, they are pretty diverse too.

somewherewest · 07/04/2014 15:51

For what its worth, I just assume that DS's friends will be / should be representative of the general population in whatever place we happen to be living in (and I'm saying this as a foreigner). The UK as a whole isn't that diverse once you get out of the big cities.

Lovecat · 07/04/2014 15:52

'poorer' ? Really?

Oh well....

DD's best friend is mixed race black/white.
Her schoolfriends are white, 3rd/4th generation black British, Kenyan Asian and 2nd/3rd generation Asian British originally from India & Sri Lanka. In her school there are also Lithuanian, Polish and Russian children. It's a Catholic school, if that makes any difference. Is she 'poorer' for only knowing Catholics?

spiderlight · 07/04/2014 15:53

I've never thought about it before but my DS's entire class are White British (Welsh), although he also plays with two Asian boys from the year below and a Libyan boy from the year above, and my Godson who's half Welsh, half Dutch/South African. The vast majority of his friends are Welsh though - just a factor of the area we live in and the year group he happens to be in - the rest of the school is a bit more diverse. If we'd still been at our previous house a mile or so down the road, he'd have gone to a different school and been one of the few White faces in his class.

adsy · 07/04/2014 15:55

I don't get the attitude that it's somehow poor socially for children to have almost exclusively black or white friends. It just depends where you live. Doesn't mean you're going to become a rabid xenophobe as an adult just because you were brought up in a rural village, or in an Asian enclave of a large city.
I should imagine most people over the age of 30 or so who attended school in this country were in predominantly white British classes and the vast majority of people have no problems making friends with people of any colour / background.
Do you think people in Somalia are handwringing that their local schools are not ethnically diverse? Or that turns them all in to racists?

Oldraver · 07/04/2014 15:57

We live in a very white area (think Cameron country), but as my DS goes to a very small Catholic school we have more of a mix I would say than at the other schools. There are quite a few Polish pupils, Traveller (though not many at the moment) some Asian, Philipino etc

SophieElmer · 07/04/2014 15:58

Yes I think she is poorer for only knowing Catholics. I think experiencing different religions, cultures etc is a wonderful thing. I don't however think not having those opportunities is something to fret over.

TrevaronGirl · 07/04/2014 16:00

I agree about the geography.

Rural Cornwall, all white, British.

NigellasDealer · 07/04/2014 16:01

welsh mostly does it matter?
their dad is polish if that makes you feel better, i wonder if any mum uses them to tick a 'right on' box. doubt it somehow.

powerandglory · 07/04/2014 16:07

DS doesn't have many friends but all of them are white British at the moment, because that's the dominant cultural mix at his current school (rural home counties). At primary school (deprived inner city London) they were very diverse - Somali, black British, Indian, Russian, German. I think white British kids were a minority there, and over half on FSM. We are Asian, so he mixes with lots of Asian friends/family at home.

WooWooOwl · 07/04/2014 16:08

Racial and religious diversity are very different to socio economic diversity, but if I had to choose one for my children to have, it would be racial and religious every time. Personally, I think that will be more enriching for them as lower middle class white British children, and I wish there was more ethnic diversity at one of my children's schools, because we live in a reasonably ethnically diverse area.

Onesleeptillwembley · 07/04/2014 16:08

Don't even think about it. Because it's totally irrelevant.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 07/04/2014 16:10

DS (white British) goes to an inner London school which is 50% non-English speaking at home and has 48 different nationalities. His friendship mix pretty much reflects this: Swedish, Spanish, Taiwanese, French, Czech, Polish, Russian, Nigerian etc etc. One of them even has parents from Yorkshire.

I grew up in a small village in a very rural area but it was near an airbase so we had many Polish names on the register and children with Polish grandparents who had settled after WW2. We also had a lot of Romany children and a community of Vietnamese refugees (Boat People) who settled in the 1970s as well as Welsh, Scottish and Irish families. If you look closely at any 'homogenous' white British community you'll usually dig up plenty of immigrant heritage within one or two generations.

Yes, I think a diverse community is a benefit.

NigellasDealer · 07/04/2014 16:13

if a diverse community is considered to be a benefit how come so many people are so obnoxious about Irish,Polish, Asians etc.,?

Thisvehicleisreversing · 07/04/2014 16:25

DS1 has mostly white British friends with 1 Portuguese lad and 1 Lithuanian.

DS2 has mostly white British friends with 1 Chinese lad and 1 Polish girl.

Swipe left for the next trending thread