To ask what ethnic /cultural mix are you childrens friends

[Fusedog]

My son is black British he has

Polish
Mixed raced black/Asian
Mixed race d black/white
Pakistani
Sheikh
Latvian
And this lad from Peru

White

Just a non thread really but was talking about this with my sister all my nephews friends are black not a big deal but I defo thik he will be poorer for it

We are white british. We live in a predominantly white area of SW London so most of DS's friends are white although a mix of polish, American, Russian and British. He also has a handful of non white friends, about 5 from a class of 30. I don't think it matters if you are teaching children its just a skin colour and we are all the same.

I'm guessing, DeeCee, that the nephew is black British as well so the point is that he's mixing with children who are in the same ethnic group as himself, rather than having a mix.

I tend to think there is plenty of time for cultural exposure when you're an adult. You don't need it as a child and it's unhelpful for parents to go pointing out all of their child's "ethnic friends" to make themselves feel better.

I had no black friends at all until I moved out of the UK. Not through choice, just circumstance - there were no black children in my class at school, it was a very white, middle class area (and then a white working class area but still very dominantly white, I think there was one Asian girl and one Asian boy in the class and that was it, and they happened not to be my friends.) Now I know people from lots of different places but it's predominantly because I'm in a bit of an "expat bubble".

My dgs go to a school which is all white British though their best friends out of school have a Brazilian mother. They live in rural Shropshire and there isn't much ethnic diversity although there is a growing Polish population.

We live in a the centre of a large French city.

DD1 (15) is in a very ethnically diverse school. Her best friends are:
1 white French girl
1 French polynesian girl
1 Tunisian girl (here on a diplomatic visa and due to return to Tunisia later this year )
1 Black African girl, but who grew up in Italy
1 boy of unknown (but I think Eastern European) origin
1 Turkish boy

DD2 (12) is in a full-time ballet school, so less diverse:
mainly white French, plus
1 white Russian girl
1 girl from Madagascar (i.e. mixture of African/Indian origins)
In primary school, most of her friends were north African Arabs (parents from Algeria, Tunisia, Morocco)

DD3 (10) is in an Italian immersion school.
Most of her friends are either white French or white Italian (our city has a big Italian community!), plus a few north Africans and one mixed race (white/black Caribbean) girl.

Oh, DD3 also has a Chinese friend, but with Italian adoptive parents!

DS1 went to a Religious school so most of his friends were:
White Irish descent British born
One black british
One Sikh british
White Polish descent British

However, DS2 goes to selective school:
Mainly Sikh and Muslim british born
One black British
One Chinese British
Few White British

Sheikh? Is he friends with a sheikh? Lucky him, I hope its a rich Arab sheikh who treats him sometimes :)

I have no idea, I haven't really thought about it and counted them out on my fingers, but basically a wide range.

My DS mainly white British (but that is the majority here), but has had a great African friend, others of various races and nationalities.
DD1 Thai, Indian, French, Portuguese, Polish as well as White British
DD2 fewer friends but Chinese/French, Indian/White British, American among those she does have.

There are only white kids in DD's class. I think that's rather sad.

poster BertieBotts you hit the nail on the head

And
Actually I think this has been very interesting thread

I just find it odd that in London you can still manage to have only a certain race/culture of friend I can see of you live out of a city that's not very mixed then it is what it's its but I do feel if you live in a big city you would pretty much have to go out of your way to only have black friends or only have white friends especially when school age just my view

And I think that having a wide variety off friends be it race / culture or class can only in rich any child

Ds is white Swedish/English. He's only a toddler so his friends are influenced by who I socialise with somewhat.

He has a couple of white Swedish friends but 90% of his friends are non Swedish or mixed Swedish/another nationality.

Many of his friends are trilingual, I feel he's missing out only being exposed to English and Swedish.

The cultural mix is really good for ds and his friends, it's great to celebrate other cultures traditions and to see a variety of parenting styles from different parts of the world.

My dcs friends are a mixture of races. Their classes have children from the following backgrounds;

Nigerian
Ghanaian
Polish
Asian - Sikh/Sri Lankan
Chinese
English

I think it is important that children mix with others outside of their culture. It eliminates a 'them' and 'us' mentality.

Obviously in some cases it is impossible.

I have met people who choose to live in areas that have no diversity whatsoever so they and their dcs will not have to 'mix'

Around half of my DC's primary school class are either non-British - mostly spending a few years here before going back to their home country - or are ethnic minority British. Many children arrive at the school not being able to speak English, but are fluent within a few months. From the Middle East, Eastern Europe, South East Asia, and all over basically. A couple of her friends are international adoptions.

BertieBotts

I tend to think there is plenty of time for cultural exposure when you're an adult. You don't need it as a child and it's unhelpful for parents to go pointing out all of their child's "ethnic friends" to make themselves feel better.

^^ yes, this - exactly.

Fusedog

You are avoiding saying why a black boy having only black friends bothers you to the extent you have to vocalise it. Someone who truly has no hang ups about race wouldn't be thinking the way you do. You are talking about a child.

And I think that having a wide variety off friends be it race / culture or class can only in rich any child

Why? You aren't only defined by your friendships in life. He probably chose friends he has more in common with. & if he lives in London then he comes across people of other nations very regularly and knows what diversity is. That may enough for him.

The problem is: in some areas there is very little cultural diversity, which can cause problems or a lack of understanding later in life.
Or there can be defacto segregation in schools; in my DH's school the Indian children (probably 1/3 of the school) did not mix with the others. The same wasn't the case in my schools or my children's.

I think 'kids dont need exposure to different cultures' is a bit of an odd view. They might not 'need' it, but of course it is enriching, for want of a better word.

I'm sure plenty of people grow up in very homogenous communities and in later life make frends with people from different countries or cultures - and thats fine. But there is no doubt in my mind that mixing with people who are different to you as you grow up is beneficial. I know from my own childhood growing up in a very very diverse area of inner London, that it enriched my life and shaped who I am. Undoubtedly. It was also important for me that I had other people around me who were from my culture - lots of Irish family who helped me grow up understanding and embracing my own heritage.

I'm not making a case for 'collecting' a rainbow tribe of mates for your DC, though. Not just for the sake of it.

I'm lost on the thing about the OP's son or nephew or whoever, sorry.

Been thinking about this, I went to school in west london in the 1980s, a school that had probably about 40% of pupils considered to be "black" and about 55% "white" and about 5% "Asian".

I was in Class with people from a range of "races" I played sports with them, did school play with them. Fought and made bitter enemies with some of them. My particular friends all looked "white" , tho one of them was mixed Chinese / white Jamaican. I remember there being regular screaming matches/ bitch fest between girls of "black west Indian" and " black african " parentage, neither group seemed to like the others family traditions.

SO was my life enriched by all this, I dunno, it was just who lived near us and wen to to that school, we didn't stand around comparing cultural diversity ( apart from the slagging matches about "your mum is a big fat ......."). I have a certain fondness for Jamaican cooking which is probably a throw back to visits to my friend with a Chinese mother and white father.

We are currently not in the UK. I'd say out of a class of 29, on average across all my DC, about half/15 or so will be Peruvian (bearing in mind, we are in an international school) born and bred, with about half of those being Afro Peruvian, and a few having Asian parents, mainly Chinese, and also a few being Peruvian/Chinese. Then there's also in their classes Taiwanese, Ethiopian, Korean American, Japanese, American, Canadian, Belizean, Albanian, Irish/Peruvian and also a good few British children.

I think what I was trying to say is that children don't generally notice, not primary aged children anyway, if their friends come from a different culture. Of course it is interesting and good for them to learn about different cultures and visiting friends who may have evidence of their culture around their house/as part of their daily routine is one way to do that but for me most of my cultural awareness and education has come as an adult and I don't think it's been stilted because of that, if anything I've been more aware and interested because I did always take it for granted that my own white British culture was "normal".

SW London/Surrey schools both independent.

Very few black
Lots of Asian - Indian, Chinese, and mixed race
Not so many Iraqi/Iranian cultures
Probably half white British
And, Austrialian, South African, American, European including: German, French, Italian, Swedish, Croatian, Russian, Swiss, etc.

Their SW London CoE Primary was probably at least 90% white British.

No diversity at all.
100% of 30 kids are the same.

DD (8) is white she has

French
Australian
Pakistani
Indians (Hindus and Sikhs)
Nepalese
Chinese
White British
Afro Carribean
Gambian

We live in a large city in a diverse area.

Who gives a shiny one? What a racist sadsack you are OP.

DD and DS are white British, the majority of their friends are white British but then the majority of children at their schools are too

DD(5)'s friends are
Bangladeshi
French
and Nubian

DS(9)'s friends are
French
Spanish
and Polish

They both have a big mix of rich and poor friends though.

When I was at secondary school the majority of my friends were Muslims because they were in the same sets as me, we never really thought about each others race/culture/religion, except round religious festivals (especially when they were fasting and I had to eat alone)