Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 14 15

Original poster

there is way too much pressure to EBF?

361 replies

ArtFine · 05/04/2014 14:53

Just that really.

I've had a difficult journey with BF, and when I look back I know it would have been better and much more healthier for my baby (forget me) if I hadn't breastfed. She has CMPA and other allergies (and had awful silent reflux etc), and this would have been picked up very early on had she been bottle fed, and saved her a lot of pain and tears.

Why is there so much pressure to EBF? Why is it always assumed that breast milk is THE best?

What's the harm for example in giving one bottle of formula per day so that babies get used to the bottle?

OP posts:

Suzyjane1 · 05/04/2014 23:17

FFS. Don't get me started on the health 'professionals' who advocate BF above all else! One question for them- if the mother is slipping into a very serious severe PND, just how good is breast milk now??! Will there still be a mother to feed the baby?

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 05/04/2014 23:18

I also agree that guilt comes from within, no one can make you feel guilty if you don't let them. And no one pressured me to BF except myself. I was determined and it is why I have a succeeded at it, it was tough at first and I did get to a point where I thought "I can see how people turn to formula". But I'm so so pleased I didn't, the first few weeks of agony (emotional and physical) have been worth the long haul.

drnoitall · 05/04/2014 23:19

Also to add.
I have ebf all 5 of my dc with no pressure to do so whatsoever, infact when feeding was hard ff was suggested by HV and midwife, I wanted to bf, no pressure.

What is the need to get used to a bottle? Cups, babies can drink from cups.

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 05/04/2014 23:20

Suzyjane - BFing reduces the chances of PND, so your example is just anecdotal. Of course professionals advocate breastfeeding - why wouldn't they? It's best for every baby and like I said earlier it would be scandalous to change that just cos a few mums feel a bit bad about having to FF.

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/04/2014 23:21

fwiw OP, YANBU. I was horribly pressured to BF in hospital as well as by the midwives pre birth. I did for a bit and hated it for various reasons. And no formula was never offered as an option

Armi · 05/04/2014 23:21

Of course I knew it existed, what with not being utterly stupid and all, however I did not know I could just get DH to bring it in, given that the impression created by staff was that one EBF. Full stop. I honestly had no idea we could just crack on with FF because we wanted to.

If we are lucky enough to have another baby, obviously I'll know I can FF at will. At the time, post C-section, and befuddled with it all having never had a baby before, I put my faith in the staff.

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/04/2014 23:21

btw breast feeding tipped me into PND both times

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 05/04/2014 23:28

Of course I knew it existed, what with not being utterly stupid and all, however I did not know I could just get DH to bring it in, given that the impression created by staff was that one EBF. Full stop. I honestly had no idea we could just crack on with FF because we wanted to.

See I think this is a good thing - BFing is the normal way to feed, but marketing from formula companies in recent years has made it seem like its abnormal - I love seeing breastfeeding being promoted as the norm, without a thought of formula being an option.

bobot · 05/04/2014 23:37

suzyjane, I don't quite understand your post - why couldn't a mother with severe PND breastfeed? And why wouldn't it be beneficial for her and the baby?

Otherwise, haven't rtft, but agree with those saying "too much pressure, too little support". A lot of the Health Service's energy seems to be directed at getting across the message that breast is best - but then at the first hint of a problem healthcare professionals cry formula. It just sets women up for feeling they have failed, if they want to breastfeed and are then made to believe they can't.

Education for healthcare professionals and open access to lactation consultants is where the resources need to be directed imo.

OP, wouldn't your dd have been better off if her diagnosis had been made earlier? Why is it that you think it would have been picked up had she been formula fed? (I'm not being judgy, I genuinely don't know why that would be?) - I'd have thought her best outcome would have been for you to breastfeed on a dairy free / allergen free diet?

YANBU to think you're entitled to feed your baby however you like, YABU to think formula would have been better for her.

bobot · 05/04/2014 23:39

This is useful in explaining why just one bottle a day does change things for baby:

www.health-e-learning.com/articles/JustOneBottle.pdf

And a breastfed baby doesn't really need to get used to a bottle?

Whathaveiforgottentoday · 05/04/2014 23:58

I think lots of new mums put a great deal of guilt upon themselves and can therefore be very touchy about any comments and set targets too high for themselves. I agree with your OP about the pressure but do think it is often self inflicted.

Keeping things in perspective can help. I remember somebody saying 'its not like a GP asks you whether you were ff or bf when you go for a check up age 40 is it?' Also lets face it, the introduction of formula saved thousands of lives and whilst breast is best, FF is not exactly poison is it.

BTW - I EBF until about 14 months with both mine (took to breastfeeding like a duck to water!).

Writerwannabe83 · 06/04/2014 01:34

When I had DS and struggled to latch him on and feed him, within 24 hours the Doctors were telling me to give Formula. No offers of help with the BF technique, no BF support, nobody thought to try and help me, their easy answer was, "Give formula".

So in my eyes I got the exact opposite of being pressured to EBF.

juniper44 · 06/04/2014 02:13

I thought I was doing the best for my DD (now 6 months) by EBF but it turns out that, like me, she's lactose intolerant. My milk has been the cause of all of her pain and inability to stay asleep.

We saw a paediatric consultant and then our GP and since she's been on special formula she has been so different; no colicy symptoms and no explosive, painful poos. I feel guilty for having breast fed her when that is what was causing the problems.

At the beginning, I felt guilty for giving her the occasional bottle. I guess guilt is there inevitably.

nirishma · 06/04/2014 02:19

Are you kidding me??? I so desperately wanted to bf yet even the bf 'support' workers were urging me to give formula top-ups! I think there is pressure on mums in general and in our vunerable post-partum hormonal state we lose the balls to tell everyone to do one.

I was threatened with a dietician, paediatrician, the works. Since starting formula and solids dd has jumped up the centiles in weight but is still 0.4th centile in length and following the curve beautifully. Before she was 0.4th centile in weight too and therefore looked perfectly in proportion. Now she justa has a massive belly and looks like a frog

I do agree though being told to put baby to breast as a cure for mastitis by midwives makes me scream with frustration. Sorry to hear about your dc. Mine also had silent reflux as it happens but I found it was easily managed with a bit of carobel mixed with a few drops of ebm.

Of course it took til I was practically weaning her to find this out as fucking formula pushing health visitors were worse than useless.

Turns out I had oversupply and she was filling up on water/ empty calories.

I'm not bitter at all

TheRealAmandaClarke · 06/04/2014 02:59

Sorry you and your baby had a hard time.
But IMHO YAbu. I think the reverse is the case.
Promotion of formula is far better funded than promotion of bf, and ff is far more prevalent.

Suzyjane1 · 06/04/2014 05:35

Suzyjane1 · 06/04/2014 05:48

Oops don't know how that happened. Double post.. With ref to the question asking why a mother with pnd can't bf... Sorry I should have elaborated. Didn't explain properly. It was just that in my case, all the midwives were concerned about was me bfing my ds3. Breast is best.. Etc etc. They really should have seen how ill I was getting(after me telling them several times about some alarming symptoms, and history of having it with two previous births) and urged me to get medical help. I ended up in a psychiatric mother and baby unit for 7 weeks. Was put on lots of meds and I gave up bfing straight away. The benefits to bottles imo are that they fill baby up better, baby sleeps longer (lifesaver) and its easier to get baby into a routine.

Wuxiapian · 06/04/2014 05:54

I FF all 3 of my children - 15 years, 14 months and 7 weeks and never had any pressure to BF.

I understand breast is best, but not at the cost of my sanity!

Somepercentagenotcool · 06/04/2014 06:06

I do think forums like this one change your perception of breastfeeding. If you were to read some of these forums you would think that loads of women breastfeed their children for 2 years and more - in the same way that if you read the car seat section you would think most people have an extended rear facing car seat..... They don't!

In reality I don't think there is really any pressure to ebf after a few days/weeks, as thescience said, most people don't!

Suzyjane1 · 06/04/2014 06:08

IsChippy, sorry but I find your post to be the height of ignorance! Statistics can be tweaked to suit. BFing reduces the risk of pnd?! For the record, 3 dc, pnd 3 times, BF two out of the three..

Minifingers · 06/04/2014 06:16

Most uk babies over a few weeks old are formula fed.

Formula feeding is the social norm here.

I think that one fact explains pretty much 99% of the angst about bf that you see on mumsnet.

OP - I appreciate that being told something you CAN'T do (exclusively breastfeed) is best for babies. But it's a bit rich to expect health professionals to ignore the evidence because it makes you and other women who can't /won't follow it feel bad.

Minifingers · 06/04/2014 06:17

Suzy - there is some research showing that breastfeeding can and sometimes does impact positively on PND.

GemmaPomPom · 06/04/2014 06:27

I agree. There was a woman on here recently who was struggling to EBF and it was impacting her ability to bond with her baby. She said she felt like walking out on him, or something like that.

I suggested she give him a bottle, just for a break more than anything. Honestly, you would think I had suggested she give him a bottle of beer, judging by the reaction it got.

There is nothing wrong with giving your baby the occasional bottle of formula. Why are women deemed a failure for doing so?

Minifingers · 06/04/2014 06:37

Who says women are 'a failure' for giving a bottle? Those who go around putting words like that in the mouths of people who are trying to support breastfeeding are also responsible for that thought being in women's heads.

'There is nothing wrong with giving a bottle' - well not morally. But sometimes it causes unwanted complications with breastfeeding, which is the reason to suggest caution and not recommend it willy nilly in response to every feeding/postnatal glitch. It's also the case that EBF is associated with the best health outcomes - inconvenient but true. Means we can't go around insisting ' one bottle a day definitely makes no difference' because the evidence doesn't support this opinion.

Suzyjane1 · 06/04/2014 06:50

MiniFingers, thanks for info but I'm sure that research could show that FF "can" and "sometimes" does impact well on PND.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 14 15

Swipe left for the next trending thread