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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To start TTC ( DD is one)

61 replies

Odaat · 03/04/2014 19:13

All my family seem to think it is too early / mad etc etc
We are financially able and in a good relationship. I wish to get back to making a career for myself in next few years ...
I also desire dc close in age as I feel in the long run it will be benificial.

I just feel like yet again I am questioning my decision as my family are really not encouraging it (i have my dd vast majority of time, she is rarely babysat by any family).

Is it really so mental to start ttc when dc is one?
AIBU to not really see the issue between now and say two years doing it (to me that is just dragging everything out)

OP posts:
Rupertandfifi · 03/04/2014 19:16

I'm not sure what it's got to do with anyone else but you and your dh / dp?
I certainly didn't discuss ttc with anyone but my dh.

InAGrump · 03/04/2014 19:17

Yanbu - go for it.

fideline · 03/04/2014 19:18

YANBU.

Bigger gaps are fashionable, that's all. Partly because of short maternity leaves and high childcare costs. Do what's right for you.

AnathemaDevice · 03/04/2014 19:19

YANBU. I did it twice. The early days were hard work but I love having a smallish (22 months and 23 months) age gap now.

CrazyOldCatLady · 03/04/2014 19:20

It's nothing to do with your family. It's up to you and your partner.

We started ttc when DD was 10.5 months even though my parents were firmly in favour of long age gaps. We have a 19.5 month age gap and we're delighted with it.

EatDessertFirst · 03/04/2014 19:22

Agreeing with PP, its your business. Your family should keep their opinions to themselves.

Smaller age gaps rock! 1 year, 51 weeks between my two. Love it.

CannotthinkofaNN · 03/04/2014 19:36

We started TTC when DC1 was 8 months and ended up with an 18 month age gap. No one ever seemed to be surprised by the age gap. If it's what you and your DH want go for it.

giveadogabonio · 03/04/2014 19:37

22mo between mine. It's great, I've been a SAHM for the last few years and am going to be studying as of September when youngest goes to school.

Would have HATED a larger age gap.

Bowlersarm · 03/04/2014 19:40

YANBU. A perfect gap. And that's if you conceive immediately. It may take quite a while, you never know. Go for it.

SanityClause · 03/04/2014 19:43

Just bear in mind, if your DC are in classes two years apart, one will be sitting GCSEs when the other is doing A levels.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 03/04/2014 19:46

It's nothing to do with your family, although I'm confused why you'd discuss it with them. It's totally your decision.

Elllimam · 03/04/2014 19:48

We started TTC at 6 months and it took us 5 months to conceive. There will be a 20 month gap between our DC. I think it's whatever you feel comfortable with. We wanted close together mainly because we want 4 and I started at 31 and I don't want to be having kids too late.

suecy · 03/04/2014 19:48

YAsNBU. We started ttc no 2 when DD was 3 weeks old - I kid you not! We both just felt so amazing about her we wanted to do it all again.

Actually ended up taking 8 months to concieve so I ended up with an 18 month gap, but when I announced the pregnancy a good few people were Hmm about the close age gap and I was just relived we'd got there - felt like we'd been trying for ages!!

Although looking back, DD is a very early September baby so concieveing straight away would have put them in the same school year which would have seemed more than a bit Blush!!

bedraggledmumoftwo · 03/04/2014 19:49

Suecy, wow that would have been very strange and not nice for the younger one!

Bowlersarm · 03/04/2014 19:51

'Irish twins' I think?

Mrswellyboot · 03/04/2014 19:51

I have a six month old and got a bpf on Monday

I would go for it. I am older starting out and can afford to do it, I will get paid my full pay while on ML

I am due back to work in a few days, but what the heck, I figure you will have the babies out of nappies, at pre school & starting school in no time

bedraggledmumoftwo · 03/04/2014 19:52

We started trying when dd1 was 11 months, aiming for a two year age gap, only took one month so have twenty months in between them. It is exhausting having two in nappies, but i think we will reap the benefits when they are close later

suecy · 03/04/2014 19:53

I know in retrospect it would have been a complete nightmare but in our post pregnancy fuzz school years didn't even enter the equation - so relived it didn't happen that way!!

suecy · 03/04/2014 19:54

Why not nice for the younger one particularly though????? Confused

MammaTJ · 03/04/2014 19:57

I am not the person to ask.

54 weeks between DD2 and DS. Although it did take me 10 1/2 years after DD1 to get around to DD2.

My two younger DC enjoy the closeness in age.

baileyslover · 03/04/2014 19:59

We started TTC when DC1 was 13 months, and conceived triplets the first month trying Shock. As they were 6 weeks prem I had 4 under 2 for 4 months. They are 3 1/2 and 19 months now and they are fab Grin

giveadogabonio · 03/04/2014 20:03

I think there's a trend these days for spending time with your children one at a time - I know a lot of people who have gone for 3/4 age gaps so they can have the older one in pre school or school so they only have one child at a time to concentrate on they are cheating

Personally, the sibling relationship was as important to me as the parent/child one and I was very happy to have them around together.

ikeaismylocal · 03/04/2014 20:04

YANBU, do as you want not as other people think you should.

I got pregnant when ds was 13 months old. I had a really easy pregnancy with ds, didn't know what all the 1st trimester exhaustion and nausea fuss was all about. This time I have felt truely terrible. Luckily dp has been at home on parental leave, I study but I have missed lots of classes and I have been a very very part time mum ( :( ) If I had been the only carer for ds he would have had a pretty miserable few months of mummy being too exhausted to take him out and do fun activities. I'm 10 weeks and just starting to feel less sick and more myself in terms of energy.

giveadogabonio · 03/04/2014 20:04

Baileys, triplets, yikes! Grin

MrsSpencerReid · 03/04/2014 20:06

YANBU but you are mad Grin I conceived the same month ds1 turned 1 so I am also mad Grin it's whatever is right for your family, have fun Wink