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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not find having cream squirted in my face funny?

183 replies

DrinkingWatermelon · 30/03/2014 17:20

Visiting my Grandmother today for tea and cakes. A few other members of the family were there too.

My cousin who is 8 asked his dad if he would squirt cream in his mouth - which he did. My uncle then turned to me and said do you want some too Watermelon?

I said no and he still proceeded to shove it in my face so I turned my head away and then he decided to actually squirt it on my face and even some went in my hair. So it wasn't even a small little blob.

My uncle found it hilarious until he saw my face and he did apologise but I still felt I should have just laughed along.

My uncle is early 40s and I'm 24 - I wouldn't do that to another adult. Aibu and need to her a sense of humour?

OP posts:
Odaat · 30/03/2014 20:03

He sounds a bit annoying, I wouldn't be overly impressed if someone did that to me....

But assault!?! I bet the local police station would have a field day on the 'major' report of an uncle squirting his niece with cream at a family sunday lunch...with all do respect, I think they have bigger fish to fry!

Original poster
DrinkingWatermelon · 30/03/2014 20:14

But assault!?! I bet the local police station would have a field day on the 'major' report of an uncle squirting his niece with cream at a family sunday lunch...with all do respect, I think they have bigger fish to fry!

That's quite rude. I never used the word assault AND the people that did are not encouraging me to go to the police and report it.

I found it very humiliating.

When I said no repeatedly as he walked over to me and shoved it in my face and I turned my head and physically moved away - he still felt the squirt it to the point where when I grabbed kitchen roll to wipe it off the cream was actually dropping off my hands where I'd tried to wipe it away.

Maybe I should have just sat there and smiled.

OP posts:
TheRealAmandaClarke · 30/03/2014 20:20

if there's more to it...."
As indeed there appears to be.

Armi · 30/03/2014 20:21

He is a complete cunt.

matildasquared · 30/03/2014 20:51

"I bet the local police station would have a field day on the 'major' report of an uncle squirting his niece with cream at a family sunday lunch.."

See, you're highlighting the terms uncle and niece in an attempt to deride the idea of the OP asserting her rights, and to humiliate her for being upset. You're actually showing your assumption that an older male relative is entitled to humiliate a younger female relative--so long as he calls it a joke.

Yonineedaminute · 30/03/2014 20:53

Yes, I too wondered what the reaction of the police would be if someone reported their uncle for squirting cream in their face.

caitlin friends dh is neither a prat nor a bully. He misjudged a situation and apologised for it afterwards. But on here he would be labelled a 'complete cunt' straight away - maybe I should tell my friend to LTB...

Yonineedaminute · 30/03/2014 20:54

Or if someone reported anyone (not necessarily their uncle!) for squirting cream in their face...

Caitlin17 · 30/03/2014 20:58

No one , including the OP is suggesting she report it but
technically it is an assault.It's also bullying and setting a dreadful example to his son.

The OP is justified in being annoyed/upset and this obnoxious bloke needs to learn some manners.

matildasquared · 30/03/2014 21:03

Absolutely no one has indicate that she should go to the police. She doesn't want to, no one is recommending it.

No one's allowed to comment on the assault thing anymore until they go and look up the statute. The law is what it is, even if you think it's mean or silly.

But for anyone wondering, to clarify an actual legal point: if someone does go to the police with any kind of report of an assault, do you know what the police do?

They log the report and investigate it and keep a record. They don't point and laugh at the person reporting it.

Even if it's an uncle. Even if it's squirty cream. Even if it's "meant as a joke."

Lots of people try and get away with these low-level assaults and harassment (c.f., bum-pinching) thinking that the victim will be too embarrassed to ever protest.

Yonineedaminute · 30/03/2014 21:07

matildasquared you said 'you could press charges if you wanted to'.

matildasquared · 30/03/2014 21:09

Yes, I did. High five! Note the conditional mood.

Caitlin17 · 30/03/2014 21:29

Just for info "press charges" is a red herring in Scots Law. I don't know much about English law but in Scotland the victim does not decide this. The police and the fiscal service decide if a prosecution will be brought. They could and can decide do so even if a victim didn't want to proceed.

Many low level crimes of the type which make the world a less pleasant place go unreported and unprosecuted ; for example the disgusting bloke I passed on my way home last night urinating in public despite being literally 10 seconds from a street lined with pubs and clubs.

matildasquared · 30/03/2014 21:33

Tangentally to this thread (hope that's okay Watermelon), I remember back in the 90s campaigning around sexual harassment. Part of our campaign was educating people that squeezing/pinching someone's bum was technically assault.

God were we ridiculed for that. "Squeezing someone's bottom is assault? That's ridiculous, they'd laugh you out of the police station!"

You haven't mentioned any sort of sexual connotation with what your uncle did, but the reactions here are all the same bringing me back to that time. Some people have a really hard time with a woman asserting her right to physical space.

FanFuckingTastic · 30/03/2014 21:33

I would go absolutely nuclear if someone put something in my face when I'd said no. They would see an Aspergers meltdown in all it's glory as I positively hate things in my face, unless I'm okay with it - I've been food sploshed when I was a willing participant in a food fight, but even just touching me otherwise is highly uncomfortable - almost physical pain for me.

matildasquared · 30/03/2014 21:35

You're right caitlin! Corrected.

babyboomersrock · 30/03/2014 21:50

Some people have a really hard time with a woman asserting her right to physical space

I agree. And I wonder if anyone honestly thinks he'd have done this to a 24-year-old nephew, as some posters have asked?

Wouldn't that have been just a teensy bit weird? Following an adult male around and persisting in squirting him with cream when he'd said no?

Driveway · 30/03/2014 22:36

You ought to empty a huge fucking - specially made for the purpose - trifle over his head at Christmas and ask him how he likes those apples. The prick.
That can be just a joke too.

Latara · 30/03/2014 22:47

YANBU. What a wanker! Unbelievably bad behaviour. I would have walked out.

rabbitlady · 30/03/2014 22:51

my then-husband stuck a walnut whip on the end of my nose once. he was a prat, too.

TheEnchantedRose · 30/03/2014 22:58

My friends perfectly lovely dh made a complete misjudgement and decided it would be funny to push his 7 year old nephew (who can swim) in the pool. The nephew did not see the funny side and got really upset.

Well I'm assuming if his nephew wasn't wearing swimming trunks, and didn't have a change of clothes and therefore had to spend the rest of the day in damp clothes then I'd be pretty upset too.

It's an act of humiliating someone for a cheap laugh. Would he have done this to a grown adult? Probably not.

Rebelwithoutapplause · 31/03/2014 05:11

So just to clarify...

Uncle plays spontaneous joke without thinking and the OP receives a fair old squirt of cream in the face and hair, gets understandably upset and uncle apologises upon seeing the effect of his actions.

The majority Mumsnet opinion is..... Knobhead, passive aggressive, humiliating the OP, aggressive cunt, school bully, dick, really creepy, technically assault, annoying cunt, twat, he is a complete cunt, dreadful example to his son, wanker with unbelievably bad behaviour...

In addition, in FanFuckingTastic's case, it could have potentially caused an Aspergers meltdown in all it's glory as she positively hate's things in her face, unless she's okay with it

Without excusing the man's actions for a second, I'm just staggered by the sheer density of vitriol, and extent of character extrapolation from a pretty brief OP.

UncleT · 31/03/2014 06:06

I suspect that, seeing as he behaved like a bit of a prat, that he's probably also responsible for starting both world wars single-handed. I mean really, let's just have him lynched now. He was a dick, but assault? Cut contact? Really?? What else has he actually done?

VeloWoman · 31/03/2014 06:26

She said no repeatedly and he did it anyway, sounds wrong to me.

And I bet he would not have done it if she was a male adult, but some wankers always think women who are younger than them and children are fair game. They will happily embarrass/humiliate/assault them and invade their personal space and if the woman or young person protests they will usually say something like "can't you take a joke love/mate".

No I can't you fuckwit so just fuck off, is a good reply I find.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 31/03/2014 07:08

Yes, the update did make it learner for me.
With the op there could have been a scene whereby DU was squirting cream for his DS on request. Followed by a jovial "you too watermelon?" and sort of misses the "no" rather than ignores it, so as op turns her head he continues with the cream and hence she's covered. "oh sorry watermelon"
But with op walking away from him and saying "no" repeatedly the scenario looks very different. It moves from annoying misjudgement to more aggressive behaviour, deserving of a retaliatory goose fat on the head move (or similar)
The trick with retaliation is to not overdo it (lest one be accused by everyone present of overreaction) and not underdo it (lest one be mistaken for joining in the "fun") so: hot goose fat is not good, whipped cream is not good. Mashed potato, cold grease or stewed apple would be fine.

Rebelwithoutapplause · 31/03/2014 07:08

Can Rabbitlady please provide background and context on the Walnut Whip episode as - read in isolation - it does sound a bit funny