To absolutely fucking hate...

[MinnieMouse5678]

...kids that squeal at the top of their voices for absolutely no reason than wanting attention!

And also their parents for not making them shut the hell up!

Im not talking babies or even toddlers, but young children just bloody squealing! Argh!!!!!!

This is just silly now. On one hand we've people saying the child who is screaming may have SNs and these SNs may not be obvious and that's a valid point.
Nobody was suggesting that people were intolerant of a child who had obvious SNs. That's conflating 2 very different issues.
Anyone would be angry with someone who tut tutted at a child with obvious SNs - I have been on the receiving end of that myself many times. This thread isn't about people glaring at children with obvious SNs. As for not feeling you can't use AIBU... well that's just ridiculous.

People hating screaming may affect you- I am sure it doesm but I can assure you that being with a DS who is hypersensitive to noise to the extent that he has had to walk out of exams is no fun for me when a (NT) kids decides to start screaming.

This thread was about annoying kids who scream. You know, you're standing in the checkout queue and the bored kid in front of you decides to let rip with the most piercing scream imaginable. And carries on at regular intervals while the parent is on their mobile checking their latest Facebook entries. And you just want the kid to STFU.

I read the op and it immediately put my back up.
I don't know many NT dc (excepting toddlers and very young children) who squeal and scream in the supermarket. Obviously there are exceptions, but in general, if I heard a child screaming, I would assume there was some SN at play, and would cut the parent some slack.

Up until fairly recently, we thought our ds was NT, but was incredibly naughty in supermarkets and public places, because, you know, he was an undisciplined spoilt brat.
One time (you'll love this op), he shouted TESTICLES at the top of his voice in the veg department. The shame I felt was doubled by the judgemental glares, headshakes and one or two comments that ds shouldn't be allowed out
Well, to cut a long story short, it turns out he is highly likely to have AS and finds certain trips unbearably stressful and shouts things out and spins and jumps down the aisle.

Can I suggest in the nicest possible way op, and any others who find these brats so difficult to tolerate, to not go to the supermarket, because all walks of life shop there. it must be so hard for you to have to put up with the likes of ds behaving in a way you deem unfit.

And the OP actually made clear in her original post that she was talking about NT children when she wrote...

kids that squeal at the top of their voices for absolutely no reason than wanting attention!

(my bold)

Wetaugust, whilst I get where you're coming from, ds is still the annoying kid who screams.

The op was too ambiguous to ascertain that she only meant NT dc, although even with a disclaimer, with many children it would be impossible to look at them and tell whether they have SN.

Well you and are must be very different because I have never felt shame at anything my AS DS has ever done pre or post-dx and believe me he's done some very strange stuff in some very public places.

But, as I said, we're having an unnecessary discussion as the OP made it quite clear she was talling about NT children.

My Dd squeals for attention.

And has SN.

They are all just kids.

Anyway no issue with your last posts.

Much more nicely worded than previous posts by various people attacking parents who mention SN as derailers lying in wait, which were generally worded quite rudely and aggressively.

As for not feeling you can't use AIBU... well that's just ridiculous was that aimed at me?

Posters on this thread have said in no uncertain terms that parents of children with SN lie in wait to ambush threads, derail, etc etc. That is a clear statement that those views are not welcomed surely.

Fwiw I haven't personally experienced children letting rip with piercing screams for no reason.

This thread needs to go on Mumsnet Classics for the way it's gone down, the arguments and the general way it's been derailed. Like a masterpiece in AIBU wrangling. Classic MumsNet!!

It was aimed at whoever said they felt they had to stay off certain boards/threads.

All I am trying to say is that our children deserve to be accepted in the same way as every child should.MN recognises that with their campaign and that should be welcomed. But people don't want SN brought up in every conceivable situation on every board.
Like, an innocent question such as 'should a 4 year old be walking short distances or being taken in a buggy'?, is likley to elict responses such as 'Of course a 4 year should be walking short distances' only to have someone leap in and say 'What if he has SNs?'.
It's just so crass, predictable and unnecessary and it gets people's backs up. It doesn't aid the campaign to improve peoples understanding and recognition of the difficulties our children (and ourselves) face. It's just dismissed as 'oh there goes the SN brigade again' with much rolling of eyes.
If we were really clever we would keep our powder dry for those situations where bringing an appreciation of SNs into the discussion really mattered and was helpful. And that wouldn't be on a thread where the OP had made it clear she was talking about NT children.

Williamina..spectacularly insensitive post

..but an example of what I was trying to explain.

The spectacularly insensitive post was actually on Page 1 where the poster set the tone with

I absolutely fucking hate judgmental pricks!

You reap what you sow.

That was one person. I didn't post that

Holla a fair proportion of public screaming children above the "acceptable" cutoff age may well have SN and it would be a good idea to take that into account when starting to judge parents. Because the OP has no idea why these young children were squealing.

As for me, DS is only a toddler and if he starts misbehaving in the supermarket we don't leave because that's likely to be what he wants. So he gets asked to be quiet, put in the trolley seat if he's previously walked nicely enough to still be out of it and we carry on. Otherwise he learns that if he shrieks we leave the supermarket which isn't really a good lesson to teach him.

Do you have DC OP? Any suggestions which don't involve smacking?

It's people's children not some interesting MN classic thread

Thank goodness for WetAugust's very good and well considered post.Just wish it will be heeded.

Thought for a minute I had fallen down the rabbit hole.

No, Fanjo, I know you didn't post it, but it did set the tone. That poster, who was the mother of a child with SNs, could reasonably have asked 'have you considered that the child may have SNs?' but they didn't. Instead they launched into a very nasty post. More followed.

I know that we're both trying to achieve the same goal and increase awareness of children with SNs, however I get really annoyed when I see SNs brought up in every concievable context as I feel it undoes the good that others are trying to do - especially when it's couched in that very aggressive language.

But surely people lash out because they are sensitive to the tuts and glares and hurt.

So it is harsh when people then attack them IMO

You see..it's to a 'rabbit hole' or a 'classic MN thread'.

It's people who deal with tuts and glares daily lashing out when they think they see another example they can address more easily than IRL.

It's not a.

It's hard to stand up to a glaring arsehole in shop.

But easier to make point on here that SN should be considered and. People shouldn't judge.

Excuse typing..exhausted and going to sleep

Fanjo, when you've had as many real-life tut-tuts and glaring looks as I've had you'll not care one jot about a discussion started on a social networking site by an OP who did not set out to offend.

We grow thick skins.

We do.

But I assume the people who lash out haven't yet.

People will always judge - that's life. You won't change it - you'll get just knackered trying. There's better ways to approach the issue than raising it at every (misplaced) opportunity.

But I assume the people who lash out haven't yet.

Yes, I think you're right.

Goodnight.