To absolutely fucking hate...

[MinnieMouse5678]

...kids that squeal at the top of their voices for absolutely no reason than wanting attention!

And also their parents for not making them shut the hell up!

Im not talking babies or even toddlers, but young children just bloody squealing! Argh!!!!!!

I totally got Rowans post - she was pointing out that children with SN are CHILDREN just like children without SN ...but with SN

they are not tortoises being compared to fish - they are children - just like other children

and people with children who happen to have SN can post where they chose - we don't have to restrict out conversation to special SN places on MN - or forums for tortoise owners

I've got this thread totally wrong then.

I thought the whole issue with the argey bargey going on here is that the posters with DC who have SN are separating their chidren from the other children who scream, because they have SN, and because they aren't like other children, they are different and have different needs. This is all very confusing.

To be fair I think what wet meant with that analogy was that people attack those with no understanding or experience of SN for not understanding. Like a tortoise owner berating a fish owner for not knowing about tortoises.

No the issue is that they feel unable to casually mention the SN and feel it is relevant and they should.

Wets issue was with some posters being rude I tuink.

But others just want posters not to mention SN as most posters have NT kids.

And they dont think it is relevant so think people are bringing it up unnecessarily.

But it is really.

Others think I am just rude and aggressive.

Ok thats covered it I think.

Off to enjoy the 1 hour shorter mothers day.

Ok, but in that case the tone was set on page 1, where they didn't casually mention it at all, but flew off the handle at the OP with some horrible name calling. If they had taken the time to explain, I think the thread would have had a totally different tone.

It's a bit like Groundhog Day, but yes that it what wet was talking about I think.

Oh forgot..some posters have kids with SN but don't want their SN thought of all the time.

Ok I hope that covers everything.

Yes. Maybe some were rude.

I got called aggressive later but I had not been rude at start.

Maybe people thought I was.

I wasn't even here.

Enjoy the rest of the day, fanjo, I need to go as well.

I dont find it confusing. I might have it wrong but my impression is that the "agrgey bargey" relates to parents of DCs with sn expressing their dissatisfaction with an unpleasant, judgemental view about DCs who squeal in public, that obviously doesn't take into account the possible reasons for the "squealing"
I would imagine its potentially hurtful to realise that people are labelling your DC a brat, and their parenting is "lax" when in fact they cannot help making these noises. It's simply not possible for "ms judgemental- JO public" to know which children have sn and which don't. So the arrow will always risk falling far from target.

And some just like to have a wee goad as they like a gunfight..not you bowlers.

Ok must run.

A bunfight not gunfight, glad they aren't possible

I have 3 dc with autism, they can all be pretty loud and yes my youngest screams sometimes when we are out and about. When he screams you cannot stop him, so I/we just grit our teeth and get on with it. If I left a shop every time one of mine were being loud/screaming, I wouldn't get anything done. You cannot tell that they have autism, and people regularly glare at us like we have a team of "brats".

I'm sorry, but when you post a negative thread about children screaming, of course it's about children with special needs, at least partly anyway.

NT kids screaming is nothing to get into a froth about either, some kids scream!

Some of us have to live with this constantly, so please spare a thought for us when our children's screaming annoys you for a few minutes.

I agree with what someone posted upthread.
I have three children. I just post. One has SN. If something comes up that relates to him, that I have experience of because of him, I post.
The same as I do if say, heading off to uni or being an annoying 11 year old girl does.
When people post a scenario I will offer an opinion. I don't rock up as part of a brigade.
I might have a view on a best friends actions - 'maybe she is being aggressive because she feels embaressed'
I might have a view on a DCs behaviour - might he be having a hard time at school or somewhere else just now.
I might respond to someone that a child's behaviour may be down to hidden disabilities.
It's all part of the same thing isn't it?

I will say again - i think part of the problem is that some posters are treating anyone posting about disabilities as part of a separate group.
I am not responsible for what another parent dealing with SN posts.
I think some are missing the very obvious point that there are now gazillions of posters directly affected by disabilities.
It is encroaching on what felt like a very safe mainstream board and some are finding that difficult to adjust to.

There are more parents affected by SN. They are more prepared to speak out.
Whether you agree or not, everyone will have to adjust.

Also, as aside, if one is so certain they are "doing it for attention" then surely the most appropriate action by the parents is to ignore it. Perhaps that's the best way of getting them to "shut the hell up"

Yes amanda you are spot on.

And you Pagwatch.

It was Thornrose who posted the comment I referred to..

Gordy I'm sorry about your DD.

Bollocks!
All kids makes noise at some point. Are yours perfect then??

I couldn't give a flying shit if other people's kids are squealing. Annoying? Maybe for the parent after a solid day of it. For a bystander? No.

Mind your own bloody business. It's got nothing to do with you, you can walk away if you don't like it, and if you're beside yourself about human beings exhibiting normal human behavior, then a focus of your thoughts on your own probably substantial internal deficiencies would be a more appropriate endeavour than trying to rally up hate for other people's kids, don't you think?

I have just read through this thread and my eyebrows are climbing higher and higher and higher.

Fanjo was not aggressive. I have just gone through the thread using Ctrl+F and the most aggressive thing she said was "get over it" at the start of the thread. Yet the accusations of aggressiveness seem to start in the middle of the thread, in response to rather mild posts. Was she arguing too coherently or something? Thus the need to shut her down?

For clarification, I am not a screamer, and I do not have a screamer. I, in fact, am quite likely far more sensitive to squealing than the OP, and I do detest uncontrolled squealing...

Nevertheless, I am big enough and 'umble enough to recognise that I don't have a x-ray vision that can tell me whether a child has under-lying issues or is just too lively for my own good. There is absolutely no point in a I-don't-mean-children-with-SN proviso. Even if the OP had made one (which she did not; note that) it would be meaningless. It would be of as much practical use as Early Learning Centre play food at Christmas dinner, because saying "I don't mean children with SN" doesn't mean you're not giving judgmental looks to children with SN on every shopping trip.

True tolerance of additional needs requires that one be willing to acknowledge that all children may have them. We have a phrase for this: "the benefit of the doubt". It's not an "SN brigade" phrase. It's a phrase used by all sectors of society to describe a governing principle for polite, non-judgemental social interactions with strangers and acquaintances.

I rather liked RowanMumsnet's posts. No, scratch that. I loved them.

I wish I hadn't even opened this thread. My wonderful ds1 can scream and does so when stressed. He is currently being assessed for HFA. I don't even know why I'm posting this other than to say well done OP if your intention was to start a bunfight that would upset you have succeeded. I'll just get back to hiding away and now not comment again. My skin hasn't yet had time to toughen to the horrible attitudes displayed by some on this thread.

Agree with annP and random

I know what you mean demented, and others upthread who have said the same thing. My skin is still pretty soft too.

Demented..dont you dare hide away lady.

Dh is just swimming with DD. She was so excited in queue she was squealing and shouting hello.you to everyone and waving. People were visibly trying not to laugh at her. Not one person smiled at DD.

So..on top of the tuts and glares last night..the attitude of the public. .and this is to a child with severe SN who is 7..is shocking.

I cant imagine how it is for the parents of those with invisible disabilities. And this is why threads about kids screaming in public will hurt.