To absolutely fucking hate...

[MinnieMouse5678]

...kids that squeal at the top of their voices for absolutely no reason than wanting attention!

And also their parents for not making them shut the hell up!

Im not talking babies or even toddlers, but young children just bloody squealing! Argh!!!!!!

People do think like that though.

My DD has severe disability.

She was at an event last night and was flapping hands and shouting "uh uh uh". She was happy.

A woman was still glaring tutting and shaking her head.

bowlersarm you'd think and hope for that understanding wouldn't you? But I can assure my dd sounds very similar to Gordy's and I spend every supermarket trip with her head screaming under my coat and asking people to please not stare or make comments as she has autism.

@HollaAtMeBaby

Oh FFS the thread wasn't about special needs, it was about screaming. Every annoying thing that anyone does could in theory be put down to special needs. OBVIOUSLY people who can't help their behaviour should not be held responsible but although you'd never think it from reading Mumsnet, most people are in fact NT - yes, the t stands for typical - so do we have to have so many threads derailed by SN parents twisting everything into an attack on them/their DCs, reporting, and then this tedious politically correct MNHQ arse-covering? Sharp slaps all round, quite frankly...

Well obviously we don't want to come across as tediously politically correct, Holla.

But as others have pointed out, we feel very strongly that parents of children with SN are completely integrated into the MN community - and we like it that way, and we'd be really grateful if all MN posters could bear that in mind. Parents of children with SN aren't a distinct community whose needs should only be considered in specific circumstances and on specifically-flagged threads; they are threaded throughout MN and throughout all the parenting issues we all face, and we try to encourage an atmosphere in which that is recognised and respected.

We do think that characterising these parents as a 'brigade' who 'lie in wait' hoping to trip people up is a bit much, to be honest. All parents have a right to articulate their personal experiences - they really don't need specific permission to do so.

Hope that makes sense?

And hope everyone's having a good Mother's Day, screamy or otherwise

Well, as the op didn't come back (that I can see) no one can say that she didn't mean children with SN or small toddlers.

So I don't think being rude about those who have posted here to say that due to SN their child does this, is really on, to be fair.

I really despair.

Why are you even querying your explicit right to use boards like SN / AIBU etc and of course you have as much right as another other person. Why even raise it? Can't you see it just adds further antaganism?

But I have rights too. As the parent of a child with SNs I have the right to speak out when I think that pther peoeples actions are damaging the accpetance of SNs that I have strived to promote.

If we really wanted to promote awareness and acceptance we would be disgisted with the 'fuck of you pricks' response to the OP - by the mother of a child with SNs. Having a child with SNs should not put you above critcism - it's not a form of sainthood.

If we really wanted to promote awareness and acceptanace we would agree that yes, we have heard kids being allowed to scream as a result of poor parenting and yes, it does get on out nerves too. Or are we so far removed that we really don't see what other people see and get annoyed by in daily live?

If we really wanted to promote awareness and acceptance we would not be so aggressive towards others who, having not considered the possibility of SNs, are just answering the OPs post.

It makes me so sad that, in this aggressive defence of all things that may be SN, people cannot see that they are actually alienating posters. That may be the way that some people on here want to promote SN acceptance but I'm entitled to my view on this subject (which is particualrly close to home) and I get very cross when I see it lobbed into every discussion. It comes over as aggressive, sneery, combatative, and, let's be frank, a bit 'alright for you - you don't have a child with SNs'.

We should be aiming to participate in 'normal life' to the fullest extent we can, not always complaining that 'normal life' doesn't understand/support us.

My ASD DS would be the first to complain about screaming in a supermarket - regardless of who was aking the noise. It's just a standard human reaction.

gordy I've been where you are. I just wanted to say that my dd is now 14 and she finds it easier to control her "attack" impulses and she can go shopping with me now without incidences.

We have found that if she wears her headphones and takes her iPod this really helps.

thank you x it's good to know it may get easier for her x

Sorry, op did mean toddlers.

Wet. I knew what you meant.

BuT I also knew posters would leap on it and use it to make others shut up and not mention SN

So I posted what I did for them.

And indeed they were feeling crappy. So I am glad I did.

sss it must be difficult, and you must get fed up to the back teeth if comments are directed at you, or about you, every time you go out, I can only imagine.

I don't really agree with what you post wetaugust tbh. Posters were told earlier not to bring the thread down by mentioning SN. Others came on and said they'd post wherever they want thanks.

I've been on MN and I have seen repeated disablist ignorance and have a few times experienced direct attacks, with one particular poster referring to my ds autism as A "Forest Gump motherf*cker", he was 6 at the time.

So I am defensive but not overly so and as I said previously I avoided this thread because I knew exactly how it would go and I was right.

My 5 yo does this when he is emotionally stressed. It was one of the triggers to initiate assessment for Aspergers. If you'd care to show me how to stop him, I'd be grateful.

And these 'older children' with challenging behaviour would obviously be seen as young people with SNs and would not fulfil the OPs criteria of a child who is screaming for no reason other than attention.

Anyway, MN has said that SNs should be threaded throughout MN, so I'll take advantage of the good weather and get my washing done.

Of course no one should feel rude.

But people DO feel criticised and unable to share their experiences. As some people DO want SN not to be mentioned, for some reason..as Pagwatch said.

I thought THEY would hijack your more valid post.

And indeed some did.

Sorry I meant noone should BE rude.

I am seriously tired just now.

But they're NOT though WA as repeated posters have said describing specific situations where they have not been understood and treated sympathetically.

Yanbu. That squealing goes right through me. Hate it.

I don't like my own kids squealing over anything so YANBU.
Not sure why children having SEN as mentioned up thread is relevant.

My deaf daughter is included in my dislike for it. I know she can't help it. I would never say anything to her because she can't help it. But i still don't like it. You can be understanding of SEN without loving everything that SEN causes.

I worked with disabled young adults and i was understanding. Did i love it when they belted me in the face or kicked me in the chest? No. I wished they wouldn't. But i understood why they did it.

Yes. My DD looks 9 or 10.

She does scream for attention because her brain is 2 or 3.

She is often seen as an extraordinary brat rather than a young person with SN.

I avoided this thread because I knew exactly how it would go and I was right

Yep, that's my point. It's so predictable. It's like being on a forum about tropical fish and posting repeatedly 'my tortoise doesn't do that'.

I guess you parents of children with SNs will continue to promote awareness in the ways you think right and this parent of a child with SNs will cringe and think that some of the approaches you are using are actually damaging the cause.

And so we'll have to agree to disagree.

FlockOfTwats

Because..people feel self conscious about it when out with their children so find it hard to read a thread about how annoyed people are.

I am explaining not being rude BTW.

Flock you do realise the difference between SEN and SN don't you? I would be quite worried if someone with such extensive experience of working with those with disability didn't.

Thanks for not addressing any other part of my post WA.

Some of the approaches are wrong.

But it doesn't mean none should be used.

But I would actually argue its not about raising awareness but about people with children with sN feeling able to post wherever they like as much as anyone else.

As Rowan said.

It's peoples children not their soapboxes.

I mean why does it have to be seen as "an approach".

Why cant it be people talking about their kids..some who are NT and some not.

And some people are rude and some not.

Like all of MN.

Why seen as a brigade, derailers and having an approach.

Just why?