To absolutely fucking hate...

[MinnieMouse5678]

...kids that squeal at the top of their voices for absolutely no reason than wanting attention!

And also their parents for not making them shut the hell up!

Im not talking babies or even toddlers, but young children just bloody squealing! Argh!!!!!!

In my opinion, these were the comments that got some peoples backs up. Reading them in the cold light of day could anyone honestly say they weren't offensive?

Why do posters with children with special needs come onto these threads and post, knowing full well that whatever the complaint is, it doesn't relate to their circumstances. It's as if it's an outlet for them to needlessly rant when it's not their children being referred to at all. That aggressive, 'I'm waiting...' what is that all about?

I have seen these people almost lying in wait to ambush threads to derail and make excuses for their own situation.

YANBU op, you're just being a dick.

I find the 'SN brigade derailing' thing interesting.

It shows how clearly some posters see SN as 'other'. For them, the fact of having a child with SN sets you aside from regular/normal/mainstream.
It's interesting isn't it?
It's amazing how when we are carers we are fab and unrecognised. When we are on an aibu thread we are a pain in the arse, raising issues that arn't normal experience so not relevant.

It's sort of depersonalising. I wonder if it's distancing or something.

I used to think this

then my very easy going ds over night turned into a screamer

I wish at times he would stfu but he and his friends get excited and they start screaming, ds picked this up from a friend and has past it on

YANBU op, you're just being a dick

Great discussion skills there, mythical

Well put pagwatch

I don't entirely disagree with the OP's point of view providing it isn't in any way disablist but I can't take seriously the opinion of anyone who starts a thread about children on a parenting website with "to absolutely fucking hate kids........................". I bet you're a charmer and if that's the example you are setting your own children then I might venture to suggest that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

WetAugust , thank you so much for your posts they echo so many of my thoughts on this topic.

I have 2 brothers with special needs one with downs and one with autism , My brother with autism was a shrieker amongst many other things! His shrieking could be annoying, he is my brother siblings are irritating, and do you know my brother with autism used to shriek at me to just annoy me! brothers with autism can also be a pain in the arse.My mum used to give him shriek times in the back garden, try that for stares in 1980s suburban Dublin !

I am now a teacher of children with autism, so literally have spent forty years with people who do things differently, so I suppose its my 'normal' I have also raised my own children that although NT have also screamed annoyingly.

Screaming is annoying, I hope people can appreciate the difference between my children's screaming and my brothers

Half of my brothers have sn, they are great and like my other brothers also annoying on occasion, to me as a child our family was obviously 'different' ,but its mine. I think I find the constant refrain of 'what about sn' a little sad as the child in me and the protector of my brothers to this day really doesn't like to think of others always highlighting this difference this 'special need' .

I am not sensitive about my brothers special needs, they are really obvious and a part of them like everything else, I am sensitive about the need to highlight this difference, and to treat us all with kid gloves. I want understanding ,as do you all, as do my brothers they want acceptance not a constant caveat based on a neurological and chromosomal difference .

I have 4 younger brothers I was inclusive. as a child before inclusion was invented , I treated them all the same, horrible mostly !!

I think, if your experience of the general public is that they are often intolerant of you or your child, without even considering that there may be underlying reasons why they are behaving as they are (or as you are), it would leave most people feeling angry, emotional & possibly worn down.

Any good parent wants to protect their child & most of us want to protect ourselves too, I totally agree with LtEve, I have some experience of relatives with SN hidden & otherwise, but I have also learned a lot more from Fanjo & others on MN.

I think I would feel/come across as awkward/patronising/pa asking a stranger in public if their child had SN and yet I do feel I need to learn more about other people & what their experience of life is. Posts on MN help do that, not just for SN children, or SN adults, but about lots of things that we may not feel able to ask or get experience of face to face.

feelingdizzy Beautiful post. Thank you.

Why is it beautiful to not want people to mention SN so that kids with invisible disabilities have to conform to societal norms or face condemnation as noone will understand?

Doesn't sound very beautiful to me really. Someones point of view, yes. Intrigued as to why you would find that "beautiful" but not a parent's heartfelt plea for understanding for their child.

Well you wouldn't need to feel particularly sensitive would you if the disabilities are obvious? In these cases allowances would (hopefully) be made, so you're unlikely to come across that very special kind of judgement reserved for seemingly "naughty" children when in reality that facade is covering up equally complex difficulties.

As was explained to me "high functioning just means they're hiding it better".

I do think "brat" is aggressive. Im happy to agree to disagree about that.
It's certainly unneccessarily offensive.
And the general tone, being so bristly with criticism of all this "lax parenting" is so unpleasant and boring. Its like listening to my mother bang on about parents who are less strict than she was/ who don't believe in smacking/ who let their DCs actually have a choice over meals.... It's so fucking tiresome.
Whining and wingeing about a bit of noise from some kids is just so yawn- inducing.

"Why is it beautiful to not want people to mention SN so that kids with invisible disabilities have to conform to societal norms or face condemnation as noone will understand?"

You got all that from my one line post?
I thought that feelingdizzy expressed her own family story beautifully. That's all.

You put a lot if words in my mouth there fanjo and also broke your earlier promise to ignore me

That was the underlying message of her post.

You are right though, I should have kept ignoring you.

That is so rude. Not what you said to me but your response to feelingdizzy. Who seems to have plenty of experience of people she loves with sn.

Not sure how it's ok to be so rude really. And again, you come across as very aggressive.

great post Pag

I have no doubt many people see my DD1 as a brat - she is a beautiful, bright, articulate 12 year old child who can be seen in supermarkets kicking me, hitting me, calling me names and screaming - she has Aspergers and this makes her frustrated, and cross and unable to get it out in a rational way - I wish people understood this - so does she - she hates being different and has tried to kill herself :(

It's fucking horrible

Aww gordy that is sad :(

isn't it though - she's such a wonderful kid - so smart and funny but she hates the part of her that can't control herself and she hates being 'different' from her friends

FGS Poppy look up the meaning of the word aggressive will you.

I hope she will in time find the right friends and a niche in life that suits her and makes her happy and content

sss your comment is a leetle bit agro to be honest...

gordy but I don't think people who see your 12 year old dd acting like that would think she is a brat.

A brat is a child who should know better displaying brattish manners. That clearly doesn't apply to your dd, because that's not typical 12 year old behaviour. Clumsily put, but I hope you get my point. It would be obvious to me that at that age, she is not simply being a brat with her parents taking the easy option of just looking the other way and ignoring her behaviour.

That means precisely nothing to me P.

You've described my dd exactly Gordy, she's only 7 though.