To absolutely fucking hate...

[MinnieMouse5678]

...kids that squeal at the top of their voices for absolutely no reason than wanting attention!

And also their parents for not making them shut the hell up!

Im not talking babies or even toddlers, but young children just bloody squealing! Argh!!!!!!

Well they came across ok to some.

Next time..I do suggest a PM is better if you have good intentions.

Shameful treatment of Fanjo on this thread. Here was me thinking that MN was about making parenting easier etc, rather than deciding that SN can't be mentioned out of the blue as it's all just a bit too difficult and nasty and irrelevant and just not fair. Some parents of kids with SN will encounter the judgy faces and worse on practically every outing to cafe/supermarket etc. So of course they would be sensitive to a thread like this. As it's not just an interesting discussion point but a massive issue in their day to day life.

Morning all.

I've been up for a few hours now, I was woken up by the early morning autistic screeching from DD.
She's nearly 5 but has no concept of clocks going forward or Mother's day.

You'd never know to look at her though ;)

The trouble with pming people is that you then get the 'Please don't send me nasty pms' posts.
I did it lately, was not nasty at all but in a similar vein about her posts not coming across very well, the poster wrote that, dammed if you do, dammed if you don't.
Consequently I now prefer to post on the thread, rarely send pms anyway.

I'm what you might call a newly diagnosed parent of a kid with SEN. He has ASD, very mildly in terms of the whole spectrum. But he does have some unusual behaviour; not squeals, but enough to earn us glares and tuts when we're out and about. We've had a few muttered comments about modern parents not keeping their children under control etc. I wish we could control it, but some days it's hellish difficult.

To look at my DS, you'd have no idea he was anything but typical. I know that the tuts and glares are something we'll just have to suck up, along with all the other shite that goes with having an atypical child.

But to read on MN, a haven of support and good advice, that parents like me are "lying in wait" to "derail" and "make excuses", when we just want to point out that not all atypical kids come with a big sign over their heads, is hugely saddening.

Hmm, I posted here early on in a way, hoping that OP would come back and explain what she meant. Shame this thread has gone this way.

FWIW, thanks to MN and posters like Fanjo et al my FIRST thought following experiencing 'not quite typical' behaviours (squealing, meltdowns, flapping etc) is to consider SN. I have no experience and may well have been a 'tutter' previously. I think it's a GOOD thing that MN has made me consider it. It's certainly made me more understanding and tolerant.

It's all well and good to post stuff like this in AIBU, but I think we SHOULD consider other reasons first, rather than a blanket rant. Why Fanjo is getting a kicking for it is beyond me.

This thread is horrible.

I don't know why fanjo has been given such a hard time, I don't see aggression in her posts.

I'm glad that posters with children who have SN post on the high traffic boards- I have learnt so much from reading their posts, and I hope that it's helped me to be much more understanding and tolerant. Why should these parents be pushed into only posting on one board?

To say that some posters are lying in wait to derail threads and make them all about their SN children is disgusting IMO.

X post Eve, sounds like I was copying you with the understanding and tolerance but I hadn't seen your post!

I think the OP knew exactly what they were doing with that OP. I didn't post before because as soon as I read the title I thought of my dd and knew how it was going to go.

I've a dd who screams her head off in the supermarket, a 7 year old who looks thoroughly NT (neuro typical) I spend my time there saying "no need to stare, she has autism". THAT is what comes to mind when I read a thread such as this and I will come on and say so if I want to and not take any notice whatsoever of accusations of derailment. Even if it does force you out of your simplistic and limited little worlds where nothing nasty like that exists because you've never really experienced it or lived day to day with it.

Ime disablism is the one thing that really needs tackling here on MN because every day I see thoroughly ignorant posts. I get quite annoyed that reminding people of an alternative is seen as prissy and Po.

I think Fanjo has been pretty restrained on this thread actually and fut it's clear you stand alone in your opinion of her input on this thread. Why don't YOU step away from the thread because as far as I can see you've not added anything at all worthwhile and have actually been downright unpleasant and patronising.

poppyseed what on earth are you talking about?

Downright unpleasant? Okay.
Fanjo has a right to put her views across like everyone else and particularly like the other poster who has a child with SN and is not offended- neither is right or wrong. But I get the impression from Fanjos posts she is feeling angry and emotional (though they don't come across as agressive) and sometimes when it gets you feeling like that keep revisiting the thread is a bad idea.

Fanjo this thread hurt me last night, I know I shouldn't let it get to me but it did. I'm glad to see a few more positive posts this morning.

But I wasn't feeling angry.

I don't want this to turn into a debate about my style though.

Thorn..I was actually thinking of you when I posted this morning. Glad you are ok x

IHaveAFifthSense

Who are you to tell off a complete stranger's children?

There was no other adult to be seen anywhere. I did say that it was a quiet time at the zoo.

Being called "downright unpleasant" not to your liking? Yet you've felt it's ok to tell another poster how SHE is feeling (angry and emotional etc) and recommend that she steps away from the thread. Was just interpreting your posts as I saw fit and then telling you about yourself just as you did.

The fact that posters are moaned at and accused of derailment as a clear sign that disablism is alive and kicking here on MN "oh don't ruin a perfectly good thread with that nasty boring stuff about your dc and their SN, we don't want hear about that!"

Input re SN should be as valued as any other post and not just dismissed as trying to bring everyone down and ruin a thread! Can you not see why that attitude might piss people off?

I regret posting last night.
Looking back, it comes across as passive aggressive, but I simply wanted to point out that many screechy dc in the supermarket will actually have SN.
I maybe came across as defensive, but I've yet to develop (the apparently necessary) thick skin that you need when you have dc with SN.

Yes, I felt shame when my ds shouted out rude things, at that point (and now) everyone is very quick to point out that he is fine, but under parented, so of course I felt shit about it, as I'm sure many other parents would feel. His behaviour in supermarkets was obviously a sign that I was a crap parent. Only now we have backup from a paediatrician telling us we're not imagining things, as we thought for so long.

Fanjo, I think you've come across very well in this thread.
Again, it seems to be the role of a few to educate the masses, which is a shame.

I think people were simply pointing out not everything irritating kids do is indicative of having special needs.

You'll get that thick skin faverolles believe me, I have the hide of a Rhinoceros these days. Takes time but you'll get there.

Not everything irritating THAT kids do before I get accused of branding kinds irritating...

I don't mind being called deeply unpleasant when I have been sparkly but that really isn't that case

But often it is Fut and if when I see such a thread title that's the FIRST thing I think then I think I should be able to share that on a supposedly supportive space without everyone moaning about the thread being derailed and brought down. I suspect that had those mentioning it not been attacked in such a way they'd have left it there and you could have got back to moaning avoirdupois screamy kids in peace.

I maintain though that the OP knew exactly what she was doing starting this. Had she been back?

And neither was what you said to Fanjo the case.

I have just read this thread this morning and am staggered that anyone thinks it is reasonable to post that mothers of chikdren with SN should not contribute to ordinary threads.
Am I allowed on style and beauty.

I'm pretty sure I can post where the fuck I like. And no, I don't wait for threads to leap on. I would be really really happy if there was never another thread where anyone had to post
'do you not realise that a lot of those chikdren you are slagging off have SN but you simply don't know?'

That would be lovely.

No one seems to be explaining how they know that children who scream in supermarkets don't have SN needs. Lots of people saying "OP obviously isn't talking about children with SN", but no one explaining how they know that OP isn't. Or, even, how OP knows that she's not!

And, for the record, it's not parents of children with SN "derailing" the thread. My child doesn't have SN (and, actually, doesn't scream for no reason. Although I'm sure there are plenty of children, with and without SN, that do.) I just don't understand how others can so distinctly tell when a child has or has not got SN.