To serve kosher meat just to spite them?

[flaquark]

I think I might be being a tad silly but..

A few of DH's work collegues are coming over for sunday dinner (with their families) tomorrow. We did all the making sure about veggies and allergies and all that.
I got a text from one of them saying that they were looking forward to coming and all that and they added on the end that could we not serve any kosher meat tomorrow as they dont agree with it.
Both me and DH dont keep kosher, at all, never have.

For some reason the text really pissed me off, and I really want to go and buy different meat that is all kosher.

I'm being ridiculous aren't I?

Fish is the worst thing to eat on animal welfare grounds. Unless you caught and coshed the fish yourself chances are they were hauled out of the water and left to 'drown' in the air.

yes like the body i was brought up to accept a host's food politely but there you go, guess not everyone was shown the same level of good manners.

and eurochick you are kidding yourself

thebody and Nigellasdealer - so would you expect a vegetarian to just eat meat if it were served? Personally I would eat what was given but I recognise that other people observe particular principles around what they eat (from anything from strongly held religious grounds to just being plain fussy) and as a host I would generally want to accommodate this.

It still seems completely irrational of these guests to just be rejecting kosher though. OK fine if that's their view, but they've at least got to have the social awareness to realise that their choice is unusual and awkward and has the potential to cause offense.

I wouldn't expect anyone to consume food they felt really strongly about not eating, but the least you could expect of these guests is to be acutely conscious of the need to handle the issue with a huge amount of tact - and a quick text message the day before really doesn't cut it.

oh well yes crumbs, being polite extends to the host as well of course but in this case i think the guests were very rude.

Yes I think we can all agree that the way the guests dealt with this was extremely rude.

In my view it's not totally beyond the pale to say 'sorry I don't eat kosher meat'. I still think it's a daft and irrational position but people are entitled to their daft and irrational positions.

PlateofCrumbs insisting on dietary codes for religious purposes strikes me as a daft and irrational position. Sticking a tag of "it's my religion" on it doesn't make it any more sensible.

Not eating certain products because of animal welfare issues doesn't strike me as daft or irrational.

Come back OP, tell us how your dinner party went, and if the people who made this request were manner less knobs...

Did they find out you were Jewish after the initial allergy etc discussion?

Really hoping OP will come back and tell us how it went!

Caitlin I'm not religious myself, but (generally) respect the rights of others to follow established religious practices. This thread isn't about whether 'keeping kosher' is daft or irrational.

What does seem daft to me is someone objecting to kosher meat to such a degree that they will make a point of refusing to be served it, but not make any similar provisions about other issues of animal welfare - it's just inconsistent (I'm assuming the guests' objection to kosher was on welfare grounds).

But as I said before lots of people do have daft ideas about food and as much as you can argue the toss with them, you can't force people to eat things they object to.

Sorry Last night and today have been hectic.

I didnt serve them Kosher meat, wasnt about to spend money going to buy a whole new joint just to suit them. I did try to convince DH that all three of us should wear our Kippahs, he told me not to be so ridiculous.

They can't just have found out we are Jewish, they have known DH for years and came to the evening part of our wedding. And it was really clear at that.

I wouldnt have thought for a second that they were anti-semitic. Maybe they are or maybe not. They didnt say anything about the meat and eat it. But if they had come and we kept kosher (to whatever degree) I wouldnt/actually couldnt go out and buy non-kosher meat. Well at least they didnt come during Passover

However. They did drink kosher wine. They didnt realise.
People had bought drinks but no one had bought white. We had some. Apparently we own Kosher wine (who knew, I think it was a wedding present) so I picked that one. They said it was nice. Never even looked at the bottle.

Did you actually respond to their text flaquark or tell them that the meat you were serving wasn't kosher?

I'm presuming you never found out any more about why they objected to kosher meat.

Why might they have objected to kosher wine? We've been assuming it's the whole animal slaughter thing they had a problem with - was this not the case?

Plate - Nope I never found out, I thought it would be odd to bring it up infront of everyone. Umm I acknowledged the text, didnt say explicity that it wouldnt be kosher but you could have read it that way if you were so inclinded (does that make sense)
I wouldnt say that they would have objected, but the way she was, I was just so pleased to secretly give her something kosher without her knowing.
I still have no idea why she did object to kosher meat

They sound so strange. Surely after working with someone for years you would know whether or not they kept kosher?

Obviously it's fine for kosher or halal meat to be served without the guests being told unless the guests ask ofc.
I'm veggie but if I eat at someone's house they don't tell me if my food is organic or GM or whatever. If I asked I'd expect to be told but you don't automatically tell guests everything about the source of their food

itsbetterthan so by that logic are you saying I can serve non Kosher meat to practising Jews?

Heheh ... I hope the way the grapes were picked did not offend their sensibilities .

I would have been tempted to say "I'm so sorry, I can't guarantee the meat isn't kosher. Have a lovely bowl of pombears instead".

I wouldn't eat halal or kosher meat but I certainly wouldn't expect you to eat non-kosher meat, I'd just pretend to be vegetarian.

And I would drink kosher wine, no problem, it hasn't been slaughtered.

I can see why she wouldn't want to eat kosher meat but I think she was being rude, ungrateful and thoughtless to expect you to serve different meat.

If she only thought about the kosher meat thing the night before, fair enough, she only realised at the last minute; but she could have made the same point politely, ie, either, "oh god I forgot to say I am vegetarian, is it too late?" Or, if you know she's not veggie, " can I go veggie at your lunch as I don't eat kosher meat, really looking forward to seeing you".

Caitlin I'd expect a practising Jew who eats kosher to ask. And I am sure the majority do. Same as I ask if food is vegetarian.

Caitlin I'd expect a practising Jew who eats kosher to ask. And I am sure the majority do. Same as I ask if food is vegetarian.

I think they are anti-Semitic. Their text was basically "We will deign to eat meat in your house as long as you can assure us that you are the kind of Jew who is acceptable to us, not like those other Jews who practice kosher slaughter."

And beyond rude to drop this on you the day before.

itsbetterthan but according to you I'm not permitted to ask if it were Kosher or to say I don't want to eat Kosher meat.