To serve kosher meat just to spite them?

[flaquark]

I think I might be being a tad silly but..

A few of DH's work collegues are coming over for sunday dinner (with their families) tomorrow. We did all the making sure about veggies and allergies and all that.
I got a text from one of them saying that they were looking forward to coming and all that and they added on the end that could we not serve any kosher meat tomorrow as they dont agree with it.
Both me and DH dont keep kosher, at all, never have.

For some reason the text really pissed me off, and I really want to go and buy different meat that is all kosher.

I'm being ridiculous aren't I?

Caitlin I understand that you object to kosher, and indeed a number of Jewish people do, too.

But would you text a Jewish host and tell them not to serve you kosher (knowing that they may well keep kosher) or a Muslim host and tell them not to serve you halal? Or would you avoid the whole issue and simply not eat the meat without anyone noticing? Or claim to be on a some special diet where you can only eat vegetables? Ie, you avoid eating the meat you object to without insulting the hell out of your hosts.

Caitlin, you'd just say you prefer to eat vegetarian.

Following your argument I suspect I might have no option other than not accepting the invitation at all.

You deem it automatically offensive for me to even mention my preference. My options from what you are saying seem to be (a) lie about being a vegetarian or (b) say nothing but inexplicably refuse any meat offered.

Are refusing an invitation and options (a) or (b) really more rude than expressing a preference not to eat Kosher meat? I would not expect to be served non Kosher meat but equally why am I not permitted to express my preference not to eat Kosher meat?

Caitlin, I think what's at the very least crass and ignorant about this request, is the fact that these work colleagues clearly believe that kosher slaughter is so unbelievably vile that they cannot possibly countenance eating kosher slaughtered meat - yet they are not vegetarians. As others have said, they haven't made a blanket request for high welfare meat, nor specified organic, so they have clearly singled out kosher slaughter as the most terrible thing. That is, to put it mildly, an absurd over-reaction. It is also incredibly crass that they didn't think about how this might come across to their hosts.

You deem it automatically offensive for me to even mention my preference.

I think it kinda depends how you have expressed your preference. In the case outlined in the OP, yes, it is automatically offensive to ask a Jewish host, who you do not know well enough to know if it is a Kosher household, to buy non-Kosher because you don't agree with it. (It's also just flippin' rude to make any preference request 24 hours before a meal you have known about for some time.)

You haven't answered my question though: would you have sent that text? Would you have sent the same text to a Muslim host about halal meat?

I wouldn't have texted. If I had realised late in the day I'd have phoned and asked if meat would be served and if it would be Kosher and if it were I would prefer to stick to vegetarian. And yes I would have done the same for halal.

So is that offensive?

Presumably if I were entertaining strict Jewish or Muslim guests they would tell me they would only eat Kosher or halal meat in which case they'd be served vegetarian.Is that offensive too as I would not buy kosher or halal meat.

^If I had realised late in the day I'd have phoned and asked if meat would be served and if it would be Kosher and if it were I would prefer to stick to vegetarian. And yes I would have done the same for halal.

So is that offensive?^

No, that's rude but not offensive. Non-rude and non-offensive would be to ask for vegetarian well in advance, without making any comment - direct or indirect - on your host's choice of meat.

The assumption here is a guest didn't realise until late in the day the house hold was Jewish.

In your view is it acceptable for Kosher meat or Halal meat to be served up without guests being told?

Corus and the fake vegetarian would miss out on any fish dishes or eat them and then be caught out in having lied about being vegetarian.

Or the hosts would avoid cooking fish dishes as well which would be a perfectly acceptable compromise for all concerned.

YANBU IMO for feeling ticked off. It comes down to them trying to tell you what to serve even though you weren't planning on even serving it. I think they are acting entitled and tacky. If they had any question they should just abstain from eating meat. I feel the same about vegetarians (was one for awhile). I'd Never ask for vegetarian I'd eat around what was served. If people don't already know I think it's acting very entitled to ask someone to serve something in particular in their own home except health wise. If it's just your views be classy, don't make a fuss and expect people to cater to you.

I personally prefer kosher/halal meat for animal welfare. Why do people assume that the stun gun doesn't hurt?

Sorry if this has been brought up already (I have RTFT but may have skim read parts) but this

I got a text from one of them saying that they were looking forward to coming and all that and they added on the end that could we not serve any kosher meat tomorrow as they don't agree with it.

reads to me like they were not just saying that they didn't want kosher meat themselves (fair enuffski, a bit late, but just about acceptable I suppose) but that they didn't want it there at all. In which case that is staggeringly mind numbingly inconsiderate and rude and yes, bordering on anti semitic. If they just don't want to eat it themselves, not so much.

In your view is it acceptable for Kosher meat or Halal meat to be served up without guests being told?

Yes. If I were invited to a Jewish or Muslim household I would kind of assume that the food was Kosher or Halal and if it bothered me (it wouldn't) I would raise the subject rather more than a day in advance

And if I only found out late in the day that my hosts were Jewish or Muslim I would bloody well shut up about it.

As has already been pointed out, the jury is FAR from decided as to whether Kosher/Halal methods are more cruel than standard, so be insulting to hosts on what is after all a matter of opinion seems a bit much.

To me, it says 'i will come to your Jewish house but I won't eat your filthy meat'.

You can of course be anti kosher meat without being anti Semitic. But the rude way these people went about it suggest they are both.

It is beyond rude to tell a host what they should or should not be serving (the text said please don't serve any kosher food, ie at all).

If you are so concerned about not eating kosher meat, and you attend a meal where you think there is a chance the meat is kosher, then you have two choices: (a) suck it up and eat the meat or (b) stick to the vegetarian options.

What you don't do is text the host and tell her not to serve kosher food.

Making a song and dance about your beliefs in relation to what someone is about to serve you to eat is unforgivably rude.

When everyone arrives be all jokey about 'sweating over a hot stove, made sure everyone all covered and yes (DH friend) we made sure no kosher meat' let them be judged.

Its rude of your guests.

Its no different than someone texting the day before you're cooking a meal and saying that they'll only eat organic meat due to welfare concerns.

Well fine if that's what they do at home, but for one meal and out of politeness to your host you eat what's served (allergy, vegetarianism and religious beliefs excepted). And leaving it so late is very rude.

Yes, exactly, replace "kosher" with "non-organic" and you can see exactly how rude this is

I do believe the kosher and halal methods of slaughter are crueller than the stunning method. In Israel I ate vegetarian and fish dishes.

I also refuse to eat other meat that I feel has had unnecessary cruelty involved in the way it was raised, in particular veal and foie gras.

I think the text was blunt and rude because it came so late, but I can understand the sentiment behind it.

gosh well I was brought up to eat whatever a host served unless it would be dangerous to my health. anything else is merely very bad manners.

religious preferences are just that. no one would die from
eating kosher/non kosher meat or pork.

the only excuse is an allergy. if you accept an invitation you bloody well eat the food someone has bothered to cook you.

otherwise don't go.

Are they possibly Sikh? From what I understand it's part of the rules for eating for Sikhs that they don't eat food blessed/ritually prepared for other religions.