To buy condoms for ds(15)?

[Kenworthington]

I hope not as I have already done so, although he doesn't know it yet as he's not home yet. He is 15, 16 in sept, he's gay and so this is more a health issue and obv not a pregancy issue.

I suspect he is sexually active and whilst I am very open with him there is obv stuff he doesn't want me to know and fair enough.

I've talked to him in the recent past about how all types of sex is sex and he must use condoms at all times (and his partner) to keep himself safe.

So I have bought a packet and out them on his bed with a letter as I know he would be mortified if I try and discuss it with him again, saying basically that I understand at his age that whilst he might not be sexually active now he might be soon and although as his mother I shan't be encouraging him to have sex I understand it will happen and when it does I want him to have happy, fun , healthy, safe and consensual sex. I think I've done the right thing but now I'm panicking a bit that I've been stupid. I haven't have I???? Part if me thinks if he's old enough to have sex then he's old enough to buy xondoms but then again he's still a child. But I think he's doing it anyway. Without condoms. Which bothers me more! Argh aibu? He's gonna be home soon and now I'm wondering whether to move them???

He's been uncharacteristically perky since then Meep. Oh god do you think he's told all his friends? They'll all be asking me to get theirs

Hoping nobody sneaks a peak at my google search history but...

Durex condoms website says...

…you shouldn’t use condoms for anal sex?

It’s a myth!

Of course you can – and should. But not a Durex Tingle condom. And make sure you use some extra (condom safe) lube too!

Please don't buy your son lube though, there is being a lovely caring mother and erm... taking it too far

Aaaaaawwwww, what a cutie. I hope my children are so lovely when older, and that we have such a good relationship.

I think you can use any kind of condom for oral sex (except, as Meep says, the tingle ones - ouch!!!)

Lol at don't buy him lube Actually my mum bought me lube. For tampons. I suppose you don't really have that excuse.

But is it worth having the conversation about oil based lubricants disintegrating condoms?

I made dd an emergency kit when she went to uni and it included chocolate, wine, knickers and condoms among other things. Apparently that made me "legend".
She is 20 though. Wouldn't have supplied the dds with condoms at 15. Ds is now 12....we shall see......

You will be the go to Mum for all set protection needs for all his friends OP.

You have officially entered the cool mum territory

sex protection needs*

Bertie maybe she was just saying yes it's for tampons hint hint wink wink.

Didn't read the whole thread sorry (OP - think YANBU and go you!) but someone asked about whether you needed thicker condoms for anal sex and I checked the Terrence Higgins trust website and they say there seems to be no difference in failure rates for thicker and thinner condoms: see
www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/HIV-STIs/Condoms/Types-of-condom

Oh this takes me back to my student days. I was on the committee of the uni LGBT society (as were two of my flatmates) so all the gear lived at our house, leaflets, banners, and a massive bag of condoms and lube that one of the HIV charities gave us for distributing at student fairs. Ironic as none of were getting any action whatsoever...

Get the extra strong.
Don't go for the featherlite ones or ultra thin, chances are they will break.
Don't go for tingle or anything that mentions warming/heating.

Did you read the OP carefully brokenhearted?

I'm a bit by this thread. I now wish I hadn't read it as I would hate to be in a position where I thought my teenagers were having sex at all, never mind having to work out what to do about whether it's safe or not. I would actually be horrified. Oh dear.

In which case you would have noticed that the OP is not endorsing it.

Whether or not he should be having sex is immaterial. The fact is he is. So, the OP can either take the pragmatic approach and keep her son safe, or she can bury her head in the sand, have all the meaningful talks she likes, while he nods dutifully and continues to have unprotected anal sex.

I know which parent I'd like to be (clue: it's the former)

Because everyone waits till they are legal don't they.

Teenagers have sex - fact

A mother who provides the necessary precautions for when this happens - good

BrokenHearted I have a 15yo dd and yes I have bought condoms. My friend refused to accept her teenage daughter could possibly be having a sexual relationship. The dd went on to have a baby age 15.

Agree Clementine. DD is a very young 14 year old, and so far nowhere near having boyfriends. If/when she does then I will put condoms in her drawer.

YANBU, but you probably know that by now. You are a thoughtful, responsible mum!

OP says: "It sounded like you enjoyed yourself meep and why not eh? That's kind of the point of it!"

That does sound a little bit like endorsing under-age sex...

I can't imagine doing this for DS yet, he's 17 soon.

As if it being illegal ever stopped anyone, as for teach him about relationships, do you think telling them about relationships will mean they will wait and only have sex when in one?

Much rather they have protection just incase. They dont have to do anything.

That is taken out of context. That was referring to me not her son.

Unclench.

I believe that extra-strong are recommended for anal sex (this is going on the knowledge I have from welfare work I did 15 years ago though - condom technology may have moved on since them). Also some lube safe to use with condoms would be a must.
Also, though all condoms are safe for oral sex I imagine, those with spermicide on them would taste bad? So may need flavoured condoms? Or some specifically designed for oral?
But, to be honest OP, not sure how far you can go down the route of sourcing appropriate protection for the sex he may (or may not) choose to have, without embarrassing the hell out of both of you. Good thing is, you've made an important gesture about how his sexual safety is paramount to you - well done you.