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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To challenge couple in restaurant who judged my DCs?

336 replies

TotesAmazebelle · 27/03/2014 19:38

Had dinner out earlier in an Italian restaurant. I agreed that the DCs (11 and 9) could play their Kindle Fires for 10-15 minutes when we got there. This is not sth they do often - they never usually play them in a restaurant or even around the dinner table at home.

Two tables away a couple (mid 60s) were tutting head shaking and he said "the trouble is they lose the art of conversation". I don't think they intended me to hear it, but it came over loud and clear.

I waited until they had finished their starter then approached them. I said in a quiet voice that I was sorry for interrupting them and that I heard what they had said. I said I wanted to let them know that my children had had a busy day at school and the eldest one had just had a one hour language tuition session after school. That I said that they can play for 15 minutes and that it's not sth we would normally do blah blah. They apologised for the comment and said they just think it's a shame when kids have their faces in devices all the time (they said they didn't have children of their own but have noticed it with nephews and neices etc.). I actually agree with this whey is why I don't let mine play at the table etc. and I told them this. We actually had a pleasant conversation about it.

I clearly felt the need to challenge their judgemental view. I was sat there for some time trying to decide whether to say something or not and the saying something clearly got the better of me. I just felt that they know nothing about us and what we would normally do. I didn't want them to go away with an assumption about me/my kids/other kids (am a bit sick of hearing about the downfall of the youth of today from older generations).

But was I being unreasonable? Should I have just ignored them (after 15 minutes kids had put Kindles away and we were chatting amongst ourselves and maybe they'd have seen this).

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 27/03/2014 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Treaclepot · 27/03/2014 20:47

They were rude to let you hear them, sadly I agree with them about the fsct that you take su h old kids out for a meal and don't chat with them.

JeanSeberg · 27/03/2014 20:48

Ha ha, I knew you wouldn't be able to help yourself and would drop that in.

TotesAmazebelle · 27/03/2014 20:48

I think actually those who say if I wasn't secure I wouldn't give a flying fuck are wrong. Some of us do actually challenge poor behaviour in others and not for that reason.

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 27/03/2014 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blanchedeveraux · 27/03/2014 20:49

OP. If you could "give as good as you get" why all the hand wringing about what you did?

You could have caused an unpleasant scene in a crowded restaurant all because someone made a throwaway remark that may or may not have been about your DCs. I agree with others, you sound unhinged.

NewtRipley · 27/03/2014 20:49

We go out for interminably long meals when visiting relatives in France. Is letting them read a TinTin book before courses OK? Grin

Salmotrutta · 27/03/2014 20:50

I think it's really very clever of you to have realised they were referring to your children despite there being a family of five seated at a table between you and them.

blanchedeveraux · 27/03/2014 20:51

Killing myself at "Chinese"

TotesAmazebelle · 27/03/2014 20:51

Perhaps I was being facetious brokenhearted. What difference does it make what language it was?!

I'm not hand wringing. I'm simply canvassing what others would do. I certainly won't lose any sleep over it. That doesn't mean the same thing as not giving as good as I get tho. Some of you seem a bit dim.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 27/03/2014 20:51

'Poor behaviour'

Do you mean expressing an opinion and being overheard....

Bet they will dine in whispers next time ....just incase you end up at next table Grin

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 27/03/2014 20:51

OP Why did you feel you owe an explanation to the world about your choices?

Are you the sort of person who apologises to the checkout lady for buying coco pops (" i know what you think but usually my children eat free range organic kale, it is a one-off treat") Wink

When walking into McD do you oarent loudly saying" yes, children, now as we do not come here OFTEN we can have a burger as a ONE OFF TREAT".

Etc

pictish · 27/03/2014 20:52

OP - you went over there bothering them in the middle of their meal because fundamentally, you just couldn't handle the fact that someone somewhere failed to appreciate what clever children you have, and what a worthy parent you are. You just had to put them right didn't you?

You weren't standing up for anything....you were massaging your ego!

TotesAmazebelle · 27/03/2014 20:52

Argh, but the family of five weren't playing any devices. It was absolutely a certainty that they were talking about my children. No doubt. It was blindingly obvious, to the point where I wondered if they actually meant for us to hear. It was so loud and audible and pointed.

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 27/03/2014 20:53

Are your children called Tarquin and Guinevere?

Orangeanddemons · 27/03/2014 20:53

What I would have done is talked loudly about the wonders of modern technology in the 21st century, and how sorry you felt for people who were old fashioned enough to feel threatened by it. I would then have followed it up with another loud comment about LuddismSmile

TotesAmazebelle · 27/03/2014 20:53

Fiscal it sounds as if you may do that?!!

OP posts:
Buckteethjeff · 27/03/2014 20:54

Ha ha are you tellng fibbs op? Grin

Rule 1 for first time posters - never tell a lie as these eagle eye gin hags MNetters will catch you in it!

FreudiansSlipper · 27/03/2014 20:54

i would agree with then but think well i am getting a few peaceful minutes to myself to play candy crush contemplate on the day i have had

blanchedeveraux · 27/03/2014 20:54

How ironic you're accusing other posters of being a bit dim when you seem to think Chinese is a language.

Your subsequent post about being facetious didn't save the ball you dropped on that one sweetie.

Salmotrutta · 27/03/2014 20:54

Well if it was that- loud and pointed then you should have tipped the Parmesan over their heads and said "Woof to you lady".

... Not really.

kungfupannda · 27/03/2014 20:56

Fiscal - I've been known to do that.

DS1 [loudly and in public]: Can we have fish fingers again tonight?
Me: Well, I suppose you could. I was going to cook a nice homemade meal, but just this once....
DS1: Hmm

If I say it confidently enough, I can convince myself that I'm not a lazy cowbag who considers the freezer the greatest invention since the wheel

Grin
Buckteethjeff · 27/03/2014 20:56

newt ah it was my one big buy, love it though! If it was remote control I'd climb in and drive it myself!!

Only1scoop · 27/03/2014 20:57

Is this really your first post Op?Grin

pictish · 27/03/2014 20:58

You're canvasing what others would do?

I would dismiss the comment as of no consequence, and refrain from going over to their table to explain myself, while correcting them on how marvellous my children really are.