To challenge couple in restaurant who judged my DCs?

[TotesAmazebelle]

Had dinner out earlier in an Italian restaurant. I agreed that the DCs (11 and 9) could play their Kindle Fires for 10-15 minutes when we got there. This is not sth they do often - they never usually play them in a restaurant or even around the dinner table at home.

Two tables away a couple (mid 60s) were tutting head shaking and he said "the trouble is they lose the art of conversation". I don't think they intended me to hear it, but it came over loud and clear.

I waited until they had finished their starter then approached them. I said in a quiet voice that I was sorry for interrupting them and that I heard what they had said. I said I wanted to let them know that my children had had a busy day at school and the eldest one had just had a one hour language tuition session after school. That I said that they can play for 15 minutes and that it's not sth we would normally do blah blah. They apologised for the comment and said they just think it's a shame when kids have their faces in devices all the time (they said they didn't have children of their own but have noticed it with nephews and neices etc.). I actually agree with this whey is why I don't let mine play at the table etc. and I told them this. We actually had a pleasant conversation about it.

I clearly felt the need to challenge their judgemental view. I was sat there for some time trying to decide whether to say something or not and the saying something clearly got the better of me. I just felt that they know nothing about us and what we would normally do. I didn't want them to go away with an assumption about me/my kids/other kids (am a bit sick of hearing about the downfall of the youth of today from older generations).

But was I being unreasonable? Should I have just ignored them (after 15 minutes kids had put Kindles away and we were chatting amongst ourselves and maybe they'd have seen this).

You provided them with something to talk about, consider that a public service

Bit odd to want to 'reduce someone to a small smear' for quietly calling you out on talking about them and their DC

Yabu

it was rude to interrupt someone else's meal

it is rude to sit for quarter of an hour in a restaurant on an electronic device

If you hear a comment,make a reply don't wait, think of what you would like to say and then go and have a 5 minute conversation about it.

The moment went, you missed it, move on

I don't think there's anything wrong with calmly talking to someone else in a restaurant - if we were a more civilised lot, we would feel more comfortable about actually communicating with those around us.

I'd have been seething if someone interrupted me and my partner mid course!!

It seems obvious to me.

It's rude to make loud personal remarks directed towards others that are within hearing distance. It is none of their business how you raise your children and very judgmental of them. They were bad mannered.

You had no need to justify yourself to them and you would have been well within your rights to have told them to keep their comments to themselves but you would have been bettered mannered to have just ignored them.

Well done OP.

If diners wish to pass comment on other well behaved diners then they need to improve their own art of conversation and do it quietly, otherwise they run the risk of said diners putting them quietly and politely in their place. The only smear of crisped fact were the ill mannered diners who, one would hope, will learn to keep their opinions on such matters to themselves from now on.

fat not fact

I agree with LaQueen The OP is very lucky she wasn't told where to get off, but she made sure of that by giving the self righteous parenting treatment to someone unlikely to tell her how rude her behaviour was. It's not as if they criticised her directly or even commented loudly on the next table.

They commented loudly enough that the OP and her children 2 tables away were able to hear them loudly and clearly. If you are so ignorant as to comment on other diners whose behaviours are not impacting directly upon you then you have to accept the consequences of your ill mannered behaviour.

To hear something loudly and clearly from two tables away with a family party in between she would have had to be actively listening / eavesdropping. She can't even prove that the actual comment was specifically directed at her or simply part of a general discussion.

"It is rude to sit for a quarter of an hour in a restaurant on an electronic device"

Rude to whom?

What on earth business is it of anyone not sitting at my table how long any of my party spend on an electronic device?

I think the issue about whether you should have gone over or not is neither here nor there. The real issue is that you don't have to feel the need to justify yourself to mere strangers.
However you were clearly standing up for your children and I can totally understand. I actually would probably have done the same as you!

Did it make you feel big and better to confront two older people and spoil their evening?
I would have taken a long time to get over this episode.They were not speaking to you at all and had a right to make an observation.

Apologise schmologise!!Leave people alone.This is why people walk past bleeding children in public places.

The OP actually agreed with the childless couple's general views, and was just pointing out that her children were not as they were coming across. It would have been a more interesting discussion if her children had been the type to spend all their time on electronic devices, and she was defending that. A bit of a non-argument, really.

Oh come ooooonnn, the kind of people who it'd take 'a long time to get over the episode' of being spoken to not even shouted at are the type of people that wouldn't be gobbing off loud enough for someone to hear to tables away.

Regardless of whether or not it was a 'general discussion' that she overheard clearly, it's ignorant and ill mannered to discuss other diners whose behaviour does not impact directly upon you. As such, you have to accept the consequences of those diners pulling you up for your ignorance. Think of it as a lesson learned.

Did you sit down whilst 'talking to them',or did you tower over their table?Damn lucky for you that it was not DH and I, as he would have told you your fortune in a magnificently gentlemanly way.

I would have been a shaking wreck and my evening spoiled and yes,it would have taken a long time to get over this.

Self importance much in thinking they were even discussing you!

Next time get a dinner companion to go with you so that you don't need to eavesdrop.

Gotthe - How would your gentlemanly DH behave if a neighbouring table were discussing, so that you could overhear, how much your children irritated them or how ugly they were? Would you just talk more loudly so as not to "eavesdrop"?

The elderly couple were quite right - the prevalence of electronic devises has helped kill conversation and they were perfectly within their right to make that comment to each other. The sight of your DC on their devises was obviously enough to prompt the private comment between themselves. You were definitely being U to approach them as you did.

If your DC's were not disturbing other diners then these people had no business making comments. But I take it you overheard them. They made a judgement. People do. I don't think you should have approached them. So faults on both sides.

I think you handled the situation quite well.

'Towered over their table' now I NEED to know how tall the OP is!

I agree with a lot of people on this thread.

Dinosaur...this would never have happened as they have Victorian table manners and are the most beautiful children on the planet.