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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If someone you knew was a TA posted this ...

167 replies

consideringadoption84 · 26/03/2014 17:09

Sorry, this is my first AIBU. I hope I'm doing it right!?

I saw this on my facebook feed just now. The person who has posted it is a teaching assistant. I feel like messaging her because:
a) It's really inoffensive and inappropriate
b) I don't want someone to see it and inform her school rather than her because I wouldn't be surprised if it could get her in trouble?

I'm a teacher so I'm not naïve enough to think that those who work in education are perfect and never say anything un PC or thoughtless about the children they work with but to do it so publicly is very foolish right?

It's the kind of shit my mum is always spouting. I can try and tell her about special needs as much as I like but it's pointless; she was a teacher in the 70s and therefore 'knows' that 'nobody had any of these syndromes and disorder things in those days'. I think current educators should know better.

Or am I just being a humourless lemon sucking spoilsport?!

If someone you knew was a TA posted this ...
OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 26/03/2014 17:12

Which part was the bit posted on FB? Or do you mean she posted something generally offensive about children with special needs?

Blueandwhitelover · 26/03/2014 17:13

she may have posted it from the viewpoint of someone in despair over old fashioned values still being spouted today?

consideringadoption84 · 26/03/2014 17:14

Oops, sorry, I knew I'd mess it up! She has posted the picture on her wall. The only comment of her own is a smiley face.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 26/03/2014 17:15

Well, it's true. Back in the day many disabilities were unrecognised, especially the invisible ones.
Because back in the day, there was a lot more ignorance about a lot of things, and a lot of unacceptable and stupid consequences
Good job we are not still 'back in the day'

MyPrettyToes · 26/03/2014 17:15

Challenge her, I would. If this is her view I think she is in the wrong profession.

People with such ignorant views should not have anything to do with educating our children.

YANBU.

Marcipex · 26/03/2014 17:15

If she's a TA she's in the wrong job! She presumably is looking for confrontation?

JapaneseMargaret · 26/03/2014 17:16

I would private message her, and I would be wondering what the hell else she was really thinking.

StarGazeyPond · 26/03/2014 17:16

Or am I just being a humourless lemon sucking spoilsport

Yes. I have a son with SN and I thought it was funny. And very true.

picnicbasketcase · 26/03/2014 17:16

Oh, it's a picture? I can't see it on my phone

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/03/2014 17:17

Stargazeypond Hmm

Bollocks

Toospotty · 26/03/2014 17:17

YANBU. I would send her a private message and say you're concerned at the possible ramifications should anyone see it that's professionally connected to her. If I had a child at her school I'd be pretty cross to see that.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/03/2014 17:18

Noone with a child with SN would find that funny.

And the fact a TA posted it is really depressing.

Marcipex · 26/03/2014 17:18

Funny? Really?

napoleonsnose · 26/03/2014 17:19

It does seem to be a bit insensitive and thoughtless if she works with children. I think I would pm her and politely point out that it is not an appropriate post to have on her FB wall. I've had to deal with inappropriate comments from employees (I'm a union rep) on FB recently and it ain't pretty when it all goes wrong.

JapaneseMargaret · 26/03/2014 17:19

It's not true Pond, and I don't have any kids with SN.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/03/2014 17:19

Maybe if your child's SN doesnt involve disruptive behaviour you might.

If you couldn't see further than your own nose.

overmydeadbody · 26/03/2014 17:20

I wouldn't assume she believes that, just because she posted it.

Presumably she is just sharing it because it is true, back in the past people did think that.

AllThatGlistens · 26/03/2014 17:20

There's nothing even remotely funny or appropriate about it. Any TA these days should know better ffs.

adsy · 26/03/2014 17:21

There are lots of children with behavioural issues and also lots who are labelled as such because they are just badly behaved with no boundaries or discipline at home and are allowed to run riot.
maybe she's referring to the second type?
Personally I think it's quite funny.

FastWindow · 26/03/2014 17:23

The smiley does seem like she is condoning/agreeing with the sentiment though. Why don't you just comment something like 'good job we are more enlightened as to SEN these days' and give her a chance to agree with you and dig herself out of the hole.
Of course if she doesn't, it's not your fault OR responsibility, and she should own her actions and face any flak.

thecatfromjapan · 26/03/2014 17:23

I'd assume you have to be more discreet on FB.

A little bit of me says that you should just forward/send a screenshot of it to the SENCO at her school, then sit back with some popcorn.

Seriously, why do you want to protect an idiot with a keyboard form the consequences of their own inadequacies? You are definitely a better person than me.

gordyslovesheep · 26/03/2014 17:24

if that TA was working with my 'disruptive' 'naughty' asd child i'd challenge that

lougle · 26/03/2014 17:24

It's not funny. In any way. Is it? No child misbehaves for no reason. There is always a reason.

In children with SN it is most often a form of communication, albeit in a way that other people find hard to interpret.

That's not to say that challenging behaviour isn't wearing or frustrating; of course it is. However, when people stop thinking of the child and start thinking of themselves, they're in the wrong job.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/03/2014 17:24

Its funny as it doesn't affect your child.

So many selfish views on MN today.

My child behaves fine.i can still see past my own nose and understand that people with children with SN have a terrible time having them judged as badly behaved.

Therefore that meme is totally unfunny.

And anyone posting it is a tosser who probably laos up the tripe in the Daily Mail.

And shouldn't be a TA.

Marcipex · 26/03/2014 17:27

I think she's entitled to her own opinion, everyone is.

However, it makes her deeply unsuitable for a classroom role.

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