If someone you knew was a TA posted this ...

[consideringadoption84]

Sorry, this is my first AIBU. I hope I'm doing it right!?

I saw this on my facebook feed just now. The person who has posted it is a teaching assistant. I feel like messaging her because:
a) It's really inoffensive and inappropriate
b) I don't want someone to see it and inform her school rather than her because I wouldn't be surprised if it could get her in trouble?

I'm a teacher so I'm not naïve enough to think that those who work in education are perfect and never say anything un PC or thoughtless about the children they work with but to do it so publicly is very foolish right?

It's the kind of shit my mum is always spouting. I can try and tell her about special needs as much as I like but it's pointless; she was a teacher in the 70s and therefore 'knows' that 'nobody had any of these syndromes and disorder things in those days'. I think current educators should know better.

Or am I just being a humourless lemon sucking spoilsport?!

Not quite, my wife works (in case that was aimed at me).

I don't think though that the breakdown of the nuclear family and the extended family networks too has been a positive thing for society.

In my previous workplace, the people working directly with young people were warned about inappropriate posts on facebook. Something like the above, posted publicly, would have got the employee into trouble - one person was instantly dismissed for something they posted on facebook, which was supposed to be a 'joke'. Whether this TA believes or supports the old-fashioned view, or is lampooning it, they should be more careful about what they post on facebook if only for the potential consequences to their own job, if not the feelings of those who might see the post.

dyslexia is another one - at what point is someone dylexic rather than just not being paricualrly good at reading
sorry but that is bollocks my daughter is dyslexic and has a reading age of 16 plus (ok she is 15 but i am still proud because for years she was really behind in these things)

I'm not sure I understand your point. You've taken (needless) offence. It was a question which I posed and would welcome an answer to I guess

Contrarian - there are masses of children with undiagnosed SN out there. My son went through the whole of infants without an ASD diagnosis and suffered greatly by being labelled a 'naughty child'. Probably the only reason it wasn't worse is because the school knew my other two children were perfectly behaved. And the children least likely to be diagnosed are those from the most chaotic households, where poor parenting is also a problem.

it is funny as its true , there wasnt any labelling back then .

Can I just point out that 'gallows humour' is humour in the face of circumstances you can't avoid, which are serious, frightening or painful. Generally, gallows humour is used by the person experiencing the situation to alleviate the stress of it. For example, a condemned man about to be executed and offered a cigarette, replying 'no thanks, I'm trying to quit....'.

A TA who spends a few hours per day with children who have SN really doesn't qualify to use gallows humour. Even if he/she does, then that should be used privately, not publicly on Facebook where it can be perfectly clear as to how unsuitable the role is misunderstood.

"it is funny as its true , there wasnt any labelling back then."

No, you're right. No labelling individually, but they were sent to the corner of the room, wearing a dunce's hat, or had their hands tied behind their back to stop the fidgeting, or smacked on the knuckles with a ruler....or put in the 'c' stream, where they were unable to take any sort of exams, thus condemning them to jobs that require no qualifications.

But, of course, that was so preferable to the 'labeling' that gets a child the help they need....

I think she's obviously not read her school's social media or equality policy very closely.

And I'd be worried about her suitability for her role too.

YANBU.

Technically, it's true. If DD1 and DS were born years back, they'd be called little shits. In fact, when they were kids (now they are well behaved, lovely teens) they were called little shits- orgiinally by the people protecting them, then by one delightful parent of a chikd in DS' class who didn't understand how issues with his past could have caused behavioural or emotional difficulties

Thankfully, nowadays most people recognise that they aren't badly behaved for no reason. They have both gone to play therapy, CBT, had psychological treatment and monitoring and more to support them, as well as discipline, boundaries, confidence boosting and making sure that we and the people who cared for them understood that their behaviour might not be good, but it wasn't good for a reason. Unlike what this TA clearly thinks.

Yes lougle

Perhaps "gallows humour" is becoming the new lazy justification for offensive opinion.

She's a fool for posting this. She may not believe it - she may think it's funny because it is "what some people think". But she's a fool because you could quite easily assume she thinks this way about children in her care.

FB does seem to "out" foolishness and ignorance.

good post lougle

Thanks Gert. You've made me feel great

For what it's worth I'm an extremely strict parent with very firm, clear boundaries & my dh is a teacher & I also work with children.

The school can't get the ed psych in. It's all to do with funding.

The school nurse isn't allowed to refer any more because the unit was getting too many referrals. Camhs wrote a report listing loads of asd traits but said there was no need for a referral told school to use a star chart & offered me a positive parenting course

So when ds has his next meltdown because he can't cope with a change if routine or the classroom is too noisy for him ill just have to rember it's all my fault.

Not finding this in particular funny doesn't mean you're humourless; it just means you're not socially inept.

Gert

Adsy. Grow up and stop stirring maybe.

It's not funny. Adsy where have you got the idea that 'lots' of badly behaved kids get labelled as having SN? It's the other way around ime-lots of kids get labelled as 'badly behaved' when in fact they have SN.

I would let her school know OP, she sounds like she's in the wrong job.

And next time my 10 year old sobs that he wants to kill himself because life is too hard & he can't cope with the pressure of school like he did two years ago ill remember to tell him that he's just being naughty.

report me and ban me

I dont pay lip service

Ed Psyc - you can demand the SENCo gets one in - go through the governors.

The school ds goes to is unable to access the ed psych service.

If anyone in my company posted that I'd contact them, challenge it and suggest they removed it. If they didn't I'd report it.

is that what they tell you?

So why havent you taken that up with the LA, your council and MP?