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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If someone you knew was a TA posted this ...

167 replies

consideringadoption84 · 26/03/2014 17:09

Sorry, this is my first AIBU. I hope I'm doing it right!?

I saw this on my facebook feed just now. The person who has posted it is a teaching assistant. I feel like messaging her because:
a) It's really inoffensive and inappropriate
b) I don't want someone to see it and inform her school rather than her because I wouldn't be surprised if it could get her in trouble?

I'm a teacher so I'm not naïve enough to think that those who work in education are perfect and never say anything un PC or thoughtless about the children they work with but to do it so publicly is very foolish right?

It's the kind of shit my mum is always spouting. I can try and tell her about special needs as much as I like but it's pointless; she was a teacher in the 70s and therefore 'knows' that 'nobody had any of these syndromes and disorder things in those days'. I think current educators should know better.

Or am I just being a humourless lemon sucking spoilsport?!

If someone you knew was a TA posted this ...
OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/03/2014 10:44

Becles.

Do you have a child with a behavioural disorder?

If not then with respect, your opinion is really insensitive and rude.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/03/2014 10:46

Smacks of "it doesnt offend me so I will just assume everyone else is being too easily offended".

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/03/2014 10:49

Bet it would offend you if someone called your kid a "little shit" for behaviour they couldn't help though

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 27/03/2014 10:54

I can see how some find it offensive.

But really, the picture is mocking exactly the sort of people who actually come out with crap like that (hence the picture is of an old fashioned sour faced man).

though some people are so stupid they might think "Right! This is exactly what I believe!" and then share….which is what make sit a minefield.

I find the public's lack of empathy for children with SN, and their parents, quite ugly TBH

ouryve · 27/03/2014 10:57

The children the poster is referring to are often the victims of real injustices, in the long term, Becles. In many cases, the injustice is that they muddle through in an education system that is barely appropriate for them and, by the time they leave school, may have progressed to having significant mental health problems. Some of these children, thanks to adults who write them off as little shits, end up being failed to the point that they're already churning in and out of the criminal justice system before mandatory school leaving age. Some of them don't manage to stay in school until mandatory school leaving age and drop out of school, possibly functionally illiterate. I would say that is a genuine cause for concern, wouldn't you?

littleballerina · 27/03/2014 11:02

I asked someone who posted that pic to spend a day with my child and if she knew how hard it is to get a diagnosis. She thought I was really rude. I think she's a Twat.

Feminine · 27/03/2014 11:07

What a sad and upsetting thread.

not only because those not with SN kids think it is okay but that some with do also Confused

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/03/2014 11:07

You are right littleballerina.

thebody · 27/03/2014 11:09

I am a TA and wouldn't dream of posting that unless it was to make a really derogatory comment underneath regarding dreadful attitudes back in the day.

I remember as a child in 1972 aged about 8 and being sent to 'the dim table' for getting my sums wrong.

the children in that table had physical disabilities including hearing aids and one child had, what I now understand to have been, growth deficiencies.

makes me sad/angry to think of that now.

thebody · 27/03/2014 11:10

to clarify that is what the teacher called it so of course we did too. bloody awful.

thebody · 27/03/2014 11:11

oh and from that day to this I still feel I am 'dim' at maths. some teachers were bloody vile back then.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 27/03/2014 11:14

This thread is really depressing Sad. At the very, absolute best, the TA was woefully naive in putting the picture up on FB. I took one meaning and one meaning only from it - that this particular TA thinks has found a picture to voice her own personal opinion. Now, if that isn't what she meant, it's ambiguous at the very least. Christ alive, we're talking about children here.... "little shits"??!

Guineapig99 · 27/03/2014 11:20

I think you're over reacting. But a TA needs to have a private FB page and not one where parents like you who will take offence can see what she posts.
i would send a private message - maybe she had a particularly rough day - and tell her some people you included would find it offensive.

Feminine · 27/03/2014 11:32

Guinea maybe I'm harsh, but if you work in education in 2014...you shouldn't even think that way.

Let alone post it. Hmm

Supercosy · 27/03/2014 11:36

I absolutely could not work with people who talked about children in such a vile and disrespectful way....it isn't funny at all.

pixiepotter · 27/03/2014 11:36

I think she should be more car4ful with her privacy settings.But I think it's just a wry look at less enlightened times! I have seen another one about Ritalin, it is poking fun at people's attitudes not at the disorder

MistressDeeCee · 27/03/2014 11:40

Well its funny, in a way. I wouldnt post it if I worked with children though. Not appropriate - and as is the case here, someone could see it and relate it to the job you actually do. Thats life. She should have kept her thoughts to herself.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/03/2014 11:41

No. It absolutely isnt just a wry look.

If you ever look at the comments underneath auch memes it is always a thousand people saying "quite right..in my day we just got a good smack, none of this ADHD nonsense" and agreeing with it.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/03/2014 11:42

It isn't funny.

Unless you have a really base sense of humout and no sensitivity.

Fullpleatherjacket · 27/03/2014 11:43

I shall never understand why people consistently shoot themselves in the foot with their FB postings. Not like it's never caused work issues before.

Even if she thought that (and why work with SN children if you do?) why on earth would she risk potential disciplinary action by posting it?

Quite bizarre.

anklebitersmum · 27/03/2014 11:45

I think I'd be having a quiet word with someone Confused

The fact she's posted that with a smile would make me think that she was having a quiet snide to 'those in the know' about some poor child in school to be honest.

WestieMamma · 27/03/2014 11:49

I don't find it offensive or insensitive just stupid. It's not funny and in my experience it's not true either. Back in my day the correct labels didn't exist but people didn't call children 'little shits' either. I've only ever heard people talk about children like that in the last 10 or so years as society has become more and more aggressive.

WilsonFrickett · 27/03/2014 11:54

I'm loving the irony. These 'little shits' are directly paying for her phone/internet if she is a TA. Talk about biting the hand that feeds.

Cowbag.

Guineapig99 · 27/03/2014 12:01

I'm taking it to refer to children who don't have and behavioural problems and are still little sods. plenty of those around.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/03/2014 12:02

Why does it mention behavioural problems then?