If someone you knew was a TA posted this ...

[consideringadoption84]

Sorry, this is my first AIBU. I hope I'm doing it right!?

I saw this on my facebook feed just now. The person who has posted it is a teaching assistant. I feel like messaging her because:
a) It's really inoffensive and inappropriate
b) I don't want someone to see it and inform her school rather than her because I wouldn't be surprised if it could get her in trouble?

I'm a teacher so I'm not naïve enough to think that those who work in education are perfect and never say anything un PC or thoughtless about the children they work with but to do it so publicly is very foolish right?

It's the kind of shit my mum is always spouting. I can try and tell her about special needs as much as I like but it's pointless; she was a teacher in the 70s and therefore 'knows' that 'nobody had any of these syndromes and disorder things in those days'. I think current educators should know better.

Or am I just being a humourless lemon sucking spoilsport?!

The local schools here have limited access to a shared ed psych because of 'restructuring' of local services. Each school now has a fixed number of referrals they can make and then their quota is exhausted.

An ed psych can give advice on what support a child may need in class but can not give a medical diagnosis.

Diagnosis would be given depending on what area you are in either a Community Paediatrician or CAMHS. They will most likely rely on information given from school and home and if ASD is being considered also SALT. In our case it took over a year and we went through the system fairly quickly so in no way was the label freely given.

I agree with Gert.

Yes, there are genuine cases - but there are piss takers too.

gert - it's attitudes like yours that helped to put the firework up my backside needed to get my DS out of mainstream before secondary school.

Am a bit lost here (DC are badly behaved for very good reasons, but no disability whatsoever) but the ed pysch was hard fought for. Thankfully they'd both had previous support (before us) but it was a steep learning curve, it's really appalling how limited finances and support can be in schools.

It's not funny. Gallows humour is not appropriate on FB, the school will have a social media policy. Some of the above posts are really shitty and judgey.

I had fight for a diagnosis of my physical condition and ended up going privately, why is that OK but it's not OK if it's something like autism?

I don't doubt there is a small minority of piss-takers - as there are in any walk of life really, but I don't give a shiney shite about those, but about the large majority of genuine parents/children with SN who are struggling with diagnosis/public perception

gallows humour would be in the staffroom, not on FB. putting this sort of stuff on FB is like your GP putting this sort of stuff on the noticeboard in their waiting room.

Well this is a depressing read.

I thought the attitude in the pic had gone out with the arc.

Gert - I told my dc's school that I believed he was on the spectrum when he started in reception. I was told I was mistaken, that he was just eccentric. I questioned this at every parent/teacher meeting and was fobbed off. A year later I was called in and told by the SENCO 'If your dc isn't autistic I'll eat my hat' and given a date when he would be seen by the Ed psyche. She saw him once, said she thought he was on the spectrum. Then she went on long term sick leave and the school didn't replace her.

18 months later she returned and he was seen again. A few strategies were suggested to improve his behaviour in class and that was that. She told me she wasn't qualified to diagnose ASD, which I hadn't realised before. I went to the GP and asked for a referral to CAMHS, which I was given. DS was eventually assessed 13 months after the referral was made. Current waiting times for ASD referral to CAMHS in my borough are 18 months.

I have been told he won't get a statement. His support consists of an (albeit kind and lovely) TA with no education specifically in supporting children with ASD, who helps him as much as she can. He is hard work at home and at school.

Ed Psych's cannot diagnose Autism, only a Clinical Psych can do that.

In our case the EP was involved only in an advisory manner and helped supply some information to the multi-disciplinary team - led by the Clinical Psych that diagnosed him. (In our case the school refused to bring in the EP, but they ended up getting involved after we phoned the EP crisis line in desperation, as our then 7 year old ds was clearly having a breakdown as a result of his experiences at school.)

CAMHS will not see children who have ASD at all in our area, even for co-morbid mental health issues. I know this first from a good friend that is a CAMHS Psych and used to work in our area and secondly from the fact that my son has twice been referred by both our GP and Paed for severe anxiety and OCD, but they have responded both times saying they won't see him as the MH's are due to ASD.

Gert - out of interest, what age is your dc that has ASD? Things have changed a lot even over the last couple of years, since my ds was diagnosed. Diagnosis for him was 'relatively' swift and accessible (took just over a year once he'd had a complete breakdown and we circumvented the school and went via our GP) but I know from others in our school who are going through the same thing now that it's a very different story.

My ds wasn't diagnosed until he was 9, despite us repeatedly raising concerns from when he was a toddler. When he eventually went through the multi-disciplinary diagnosis there was absolutely no question regarding the diagnosis. So, he struggled, unsupported in school for over 5 years because no-one wanted to know. We were constantly reassured by teachers, SENCOs etc that there was nothing for us to worry about and having no experience of SEN or ASD ourselves, we were stupid enough to trust them. We didn't go to our GP, as we were consistently being told we were wrong by professionals (and I use that term very loosely) who told us, very convincingly, they knew what they were talking about an ds was just a little slow to mature.

Things aren't as clear cut as you would like them to be and access to assessments and support is much, much harder these days.

Professionals in Autism - who can and cannot diagnose.

Moosemamma. The school nurse told us that if was only a couple of years earlier before the cuts, a referral would have been swift & easy.

I sent this:

'Hey X,
Sorry for the random out of the blue contact but I just wanted to say I'm a bit worried about the picture you've put up this morning of the grumpy old man and the 'little shits' comment. I'm sure you're meaning to take the piss out of those kinds of attitudes but putting it on your wall kind of looks like you agree with it, especially with the happy face. If your school sees that you really could be in some serious trouble (plus it looks a bit disrespectful to the children and parents who struggle and who rely on you to support them). I feel like a sanctimonious arse telling you what to do but I really would consider taking it down, for your own sake as much as the children with special needs.
Hope all else is well and I'm really not trying to be a bitch.
xx'

Don't want to link to this thread particularly, I don't want to start a war with her. I'm really just concerned that that picture is not a message that should be 'out there' on fb and that it certainly shouldn't be linked to educational support staff.

YANBU, I think you have done the right thing.

picturesinthefire you said of your son who has special needs

"He can be a little shit at times, but he has a lovely nature whereas I know other children are just naughty/nasty due to upbringing."

How do you know the latter fact? Isn't your comment just coping what the meme says?

Well I guess you never know everything but I have come across many children who are just wilful or who seem to live with no boundaries or are spoilt (given everything they ask for) or who are bullies. (Often to my ds)

There are times when my ds is just naughty of course there are.

Fair play to you considering. Nicely put. I expect she will re-evaluate her original post.

A little boy came to my drama class several years ago. He was very very challenging, the other teacher who was much more experienced than me said he was just naughty he didn't have sen as shed worked with lots if children who did

I thought otherwise & persevered with him. Turned out he is autistic.

You saw this picture on facebook, you know the poster is a TA, you find it offensive and you don't want someone to see it and get her into trouble. So you post it on mumsnet. Very altruistic.

There isn't a way of linking the picture on here to an individual's facebook profile is there?!?!

Shit. Should I delete the post? Can we even do that on here, I can't see a button for it?

You press "Report" in the blue bar and request that mn delete the posts.

OP is quite clearly trying to do the right thing, the tone of her message tells us that. I think it is highly unlikely that the TA in question will be identified by this pic alone, she could be anywhere as could OP. It's unfair to suggest that the OP was being unkind in doing this. Frankly, anyone who posts a pic like that on their fbook profile clearly has no problem in airing their offensive veiws anyway.

Serve her bloody well right if she does get into trouble . I'd have no qualms in recomending disciplinary action .

What a load if cobblers. reading through the thread I do think there are a load of people just waiting to be offended on every corner.

I read the picture, had a quiet smile and moved on only to find that for loads of people it was apparently an excuse to project their own feelings on to a post and then extrapolate from there whatever the wider context.

it's reactions like those which devalue your voices when there are real injustices or causes for concern.