To think DH is talking out of his arse?

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

Re: holidays.
We have two small dcs. 3 yo and 1 yo.
Last year we had a great villa holiday (v. Fortunate) it was lovely. Warm weather, relaxing enough because all amenities on hand IYSWIM. Got to do and see stuff.
He stubbornly insists maintains that an all inclusive hotel hols would be better. He thinks "everyone" agrees with that. He simply doesn't see what I am complaining about.
I think a hotel room, however comfortable, sounds like a fucking nightmare in our situation. I can't bear the idea of not having the convenient base that self catering gives you IYSWIM. Every meal taken in a massive dining room with two little ones. I'm getting chest pain just thinking about it.
Aibu? Is he right?
Or is he talking shit?

Having only gone on child centred AI holidays I don't really recognise your description, to be honest. They sound rather grim for anyone, regardless of having kids or not!

inspace why are you being so rude? I'm not "snobbish". And when did I say I wanted to do loads of Cooking and cleaning?

Dh does most of the cooking actually.
I don't understand how my worries about hotel accommodation can be construed as snobbery. A,ll I want is some fun stuff for my dcs to do, and a bit of an evening of sitting down with my dh. Something we really don't get normally.
I'm asking for opinions because my dh reckons that AI sounds great and I think, with tiny dcs, it sounds stressful.

toospotty I don't understand. Did you like AI?

Well maybe thats the problem, you just mentioned that DH does most of the cooking. Maybe he doesn't want to? You could compromise and say that you will do all the shopping and cooking and dishes, if he'll agree to self catering.

Ah well if he does the cooking perhaps he is worried about having to do it on holiday and thinks all inclusive will be a break for him?

If that is the case just suggest you get an apartment but eat out for your main meal each day. Cereal for breakfast and sandwiches for a cold mealdoesnt count as cooking.

I've already posted upthread, OP. I've been to a Kinderhotel, which is AI designed specifically for kids, but many others on here have been to AI which was child centred too. Your descriptions of big queues, vast restaurants where no one can make a noise, hotel rooms you can't make a noise in, scary swimming pools - lots of us on here have said our AI holiday were nothing like that at all. The way you describe the holidays makes them sound dreadful whether or not you have children!

To repeat what I said before, I've done both before with kids and AI had the edge because there's no work to be done, it's completely relaxing and the childcare is excellent.

I'm with you op. I like to explore and find interesting little places to eat. My idea of hell would be restaurants every night though. A nice mix, depending on how you feel is perfect. Thinking about it, my priority is car hire/taking your own car. We've done very few holidays without one. I get bored with the same local strip, just as I would with a few restaurants with AI.

I think you should show him this thread. It's 50/50 but you can definitely prove that it's not everyone who thinks AI are the bees knees.

I like to explore and find interesting little places to eat

I don't understand why people think you can't do this if you are on AI? We probably still spend 7 days out of 14 eating out when we go away. It also makes us more adventurous - We try local dishes in the complex, see that we like them and then can order outside so we aren't wasting money buying a meal we then don't eat.

I'm also with Toospotty in that the description some people have given of AI (especially the ones who haven't actually been ) doesn't bare any relation to the holidays we have had.

The dining areas are large though aren't they? I loved the buffet style breakfast in Jamaica. It was great. Really good food, lots of choice etc. but it's big. And I have to get dressed
I've not been to a family oriented one of course, because I've only been before the dcs. So I guess it's been harder to imagine small dcs in the kind of "grown up" environments I've seen before.

I just think I prefer having everything I need (and there's a lot with two under 4 yrs) to have, which is easier if I don't have to traipse back to a hotel room. In sc the pool, the "dining room" (your kitchen or terrace) is right there.
And we do go out more in sc than in AI. The big advantage of AI is that you've paid for all your meals and drinks, so it makes sense to dine in the complex. Plus, in some areas the hotels are situated in places where venturing out is not always recommended by the tour company. (certainly that was the case at sandals in Jamaica)

Dh loves cooking. He'll often choose to eat in and cook rather than eat out. He consorts it a hobby. Plus, we share. He cooks the more fun things but I tend to do the bulk of the breakfast and light lunches etc.
I think what he likes about ai is the constant supply of food and drink.
I don't really want my 3 yo having an unlimited amount of sugar every day for two weeks. I mean, treats are great, but sure
Y yswim.

LtEve. People probably stay in the hotel on AI because they have already paid for all their food and drink, which is the main attraction of AI.

Money spent on food and drink outside the hotel is seen as wasted because you are paying for something that you have already paid for an is freely available in the hotel. And if you are on a budget, you are unlikely to be able to spend a significant amount of money on top of what you have already paid for your holiday.

I looked at the difference between SC and AI in 3 Aparthotels in Cala D'Or, which is somewhere DP and I will probably go either this year or next.

The difference at two were about £300 and one was £700. Now we might spend about £300 in a week with mostly eating out, some drinking out and some supermarket breakfasts, snacks and booze, but nowhere near £700.

So I do fancy the idea of SC or B+B in an aparthotel and take comfort that even if we eat out for every lunch and evening meal, it is likely to be no more expensive than AI, which I wouldn't like anyway, unless the restaurants are a la carte and outside, not in a dining room.

OP, if your husband does most of the cooking who does the rest? The washing up, the bed making, the cleaning up after yourselves?

If that tends to be your husband when you're on holiday then YABU.

It's the person that does the most of that work who should get to decide if it's AI or a villa.

for me sc is preferable with under 7s. between 7 and 14 al. then back to sc. But dh could never enjoy an ai holiday. He likes to lounge in the mornings, he likes having quiet evenings with a glass of decent red, err, sex on the sofa/in a room of our own not in a bed three foot from the dc . He'd hate going for breakfast having to get everyone ready, He would hate having to eat out or in the hotel all the time- no privacy would be awful for him. I don't think we'll ever do ai, as it's just not for him.
And I'm less eager after our last holiday where one by one we each came down with d and v. Having a nice quiet cottage to be ill and recover was a God send on an otherwise unsuccessful holiday.

He is right.

pregnantpause is so right, unless you can afford a suite, the difference between sc and a hotel is sex ... might be worth mentioning that to your dh?

Did villa when DS was 8 months. Found it a bit same shit, different place so did AI at 17 months. At that stage he was much less good at falling asleep in pushchair. The key is nice grounds, where you can go for a long walk in the balmy evening with your drinks and find somewhere to sit whilst kids run around. There was much more to entertain him there though, and because the grounds were so large and lovely it was easy to drag your loungers well away from the pool so we could lie down and he could run about without threatening to fall in. Much harder at a villa where you will always be close to the pool.

I would really recommend where we went. barut Lara in antalyam through first choice

I have enough stresses about having to stay in hotels when we travel from London to Scotland, the thought of a whole week in a hotel room with our 3 and 1 year olds would bring me out in hives, so I fully agree with you!

But my sister who was a SAHM when her ones were younger found that a villa holiday was just doing the same things as she was at home, but with higher expectations. My BIL was a bit of a breadwinner at the time, and left her to look after the kids and cook all the meals etc, he couldn't even be trusted with the kids' suntan lotion. He is now better at helping round the house after couples counselling, but villa holidays are completely ruined for my sister and she always does all inclusive now.

My DH is very useful round the house, and fully assists at home and on holiday, so cooking etc is not a chore for either of us, and we like the flexibility of being able to cook dinner in the evening, or go out for lunches or early dinners.

Now, hotels are for when we've left the kiddies with the grandparents!

aermingers I do all of the washing up, clearing away, laundry, tidying etc. Home or away.
Hell sometimes wash up a pan or clear the table but I'm the one that does the vast majority of the housework.

Thanks twooter and hardertokidnap I will look into both those ideas.

Speaking witb expereience from both, All inclusion whoops villas arse

OP, I'm with you. The idea of AI with small kids sounds hellish. I like SC, and I even quite like doing the shopping in a foreign country - adds to the experience of being abroad. And I love the options and freedom you get with SC.

Yes I think it's the freedom I like.
In a hotel everything is so public. So I'm worried about schlepping about with all the dcs stuff etc. in sc it just see,s like it would be easier for them to run about messy or nekkid without any eyebrows to raise.
Oh god, I know I should be grateful to have any kind of holiday. And I am. But it was meant to be a sort of lighthearted thing as I'm miffed that dh seems so blinkered to the pitfalls of a hotel with tiny dcs. IYSWIM.