To think DH is talking out of his arse?

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

Re: holidays.
We have two small dcs. 3 yo and 1 yo.
Last year we had a great villa holiday (v. Fortunate) it was lovely. Warm weather, relaxing enough because all amenities on hand IYSWIM. Got to do and see stuff.
He stubbornly insists maintains that an all inclusive hotel hols would be better. He thinks "everyone" agrees with that. He simply doesn't see what I am complaining about.
I think a hotel room, however comfortable, sounds like a fucking nightmare in our situation. I can't bear the idea of not having the convenient base that self catering gives you IYSWIM. Every meal taken in a massive dining room with two little ones. I'm getting chest pain just thinking about it.
Aibu? Is he right?
Or is he talking shit?

We've done both types of holiday and I think on the whole I prefer the hotel option, although we can't afford it in school holidays. We've gone to a Kinderhotel rather than a beach holiday and they are simply superb. Most of the rooms are suites, they provide almost all the equipment you need for babies and toddlers, the kids clubs are superb, the food is proper restaurant food for adults and a child friendly buffet, and there is a cheap spa! Everyone there is with their children so no raised eyebrows at anything and the staff are just lovely.

Well it certainly isn't the case that "everyone" agrees with him. I don't for a start. So he's talking bollocks and YANBU.

I knewit.

I'm completely and 100% with you, OP.

We always go self-catering. We did it even before we became parents, but once we were parents, it really became the only option. You just have so much more freedom - you can have your lunch when you want and if you just want a snack you can have a snack and if you have a fussy eater you can cater to their needs, and you don't have the stress of sitting in a hotel dining room full of people getting tense about your overactive toddler.

I don't mind either cooking or cleaning - both seem to me like a fair exchange for not being tied down to hotel routines and food.

The thought of all inclusive holidays give me the heebee geebies; no way not ever.

I (and dh) much prefer villas. Or cottages. Or log cabins.

We do like doing and visiting and experiencing while on holiday. However, we also like it calm and away from people in the evenings.

Nice that we are all different.

We always get a villa or a suite when on holiday. Otherwise nobody sleeps very well, you have to sit in your hotel room and be quiet after 8pm and go down for breakfast together even if one of you isn't hungry.
With a villa you can eat when you like, make snacks for the kids, feed them early then eat later, put them to bed and then sit on your veranda with dinner and a drink, watch tv in the lounge....
It's fab! Plus we get one with a pool so the kids can swim/play.
We also had ds asleep every afternoon in the lounge and were able to sunbathe on the terrace/swim in the pool whilst he was right beside us as we could see him thro the patio doors.
The villa had toys, games,books,DVDs and pool toys.
Wish we could go back right now!!

Now I just want to go to center parcs. Then I don't even have to deal with all the airport bollocks.
Ahh, telly in the evening.

Can't you do both? I had a villa in Gran Canaria but the deal was AI so we had the best of both worlds. Privacy and our own little pool, somewhere spacious and nice to sit out with the vino, but I didn't have to cook if I didn't want to.

By the way, every time I go AI I put on about a stone a week!!!

Yes that's the other issue. Personally, I find all that food a bit too tempting much.
As it transpires I was right all along I will be pressing dh for a uk based sc holiday.

Thanks everyone.

I am definitely in your camp; when dc were tiny we always self-catered; however, have now had 2 summers where we stayed in cottages in hotel grounds, half board. They were the best possible compromise, I didn't have to cook all the time (but had kitchenette so I could if I wanted), child-friendly hotel meant friends available on tap for dc (who are now 8 and 5, so welcome the company), and hotel dining room with lots of other children. Smallish hotels, half-empty because it was the local low season. I am in the process of finding something similar for this year.

We had this dilemma and compromised by booking a suite with a private pool in a AI hotel so we get the best of both worlds. Would that be an option?

No no no no. No. NO. Hotels with under fives are shit. And we're on the rich side, so I did it 5*. Still worse than self catering.

That's my gut feeling nameless
DH loves AI. We've only ever done 4*(never5) in the Caribbean. But that was pre DCs. I think the food and cocktails are a real pull for him. He does at least half the cooking. I would be happy with fruit and ice cream and crisps on holiday (as would ds tbh ) as long as we have meals out for "real" food.
DS is 3. He is very sociable. But I think he's forgetting we still have a baby. And that we can't get trollied with two dcs to look after.

I know ppl have different preferences and not having to cook or clean is attractive, but the pitfalls of hotels and AI seem so obvious to me. It's frustrating the he refuses to see the issues. And even more frustrating the he's fabricating stories about people who agree with him convinced "everyone" else feels the same as he does.

We did AI once.

Never again! S/c is so much more flexible wherever you are, and the extra space (we're into teenager land now) is essential.

If we're s/c we eat out a lot, but can still happily have a quick sandwich lunch if needed and breakfast time is much later more flexible!

It's so funny how different we all are isn't it? The AIs we've been to have all had such flexibility and choice around mealtimes that we haven't had any issues in that regard. I've never stressed about food, eaten when I wanted to and tried lots of unusual foods.

I feel so 'free' on holidays, no shopping, no planning, no cooking or cleaning. I can't see that I would feel the same if we went SC. Even when DD was a baby we found it easier - although we did finger foods rather than purée, so maybe that was why. The only concessions we made were to book places with apartments rather than single hotel rooms so that we had a separate bedroom, and make sure we had a decent lie flat buggy rather than hire a hotel one.

I honestly cannot see us doing anything other than AI, and DD has grown up assuming all hotels abroad are!

What will happen at night when DC are in bed? Will one of you sit quietly in the dark room until your bed time?

It's my idea of hell. All that marble/tiles with a small child who's not been walking all that long.

And we went AI twice before children. Once was a brilliant holiday. The second time we got some horrible diarrhoea bug and were laid out for 4/7 days of our holiday. It was so bad and the staff wouldn't give us more than one roll of toilet roll at a time.

We did hotels and let the kids stay up till silly o clock and sleep in a pushchair as needed, then they would sleep past dawn in the morning.

Yes, maybe if our eldest had been one who is willing to sleep in a buggy I'd have a different view. Neither of mine cope well with lack of sleep and they'd both be a tantrumming wreck by the end of a week where they'd been kept up past usual bed time. I prefer to have a quiet evening with DH once the DC are in bed rather than have to be parenting all the time.

YANBU

We just went here with our under two year old, and it was brilliant (spendy for 4 and for a week though! we just did two nights)

www.luxuryfamilyhotels.co.uk/

But your average hotel would be a nightmare. I don't really like the idea of all inclusive, not sure why. Never tried it though! Just go to Center Parcs

Never been AI but the thought fills me with dread! We are staying in a hotel room together one day next week. (DCs 4 and 2). Post 7pm DH and I will be lying in silence in a dark room. Doesn't sound wonderful to me! Much nicer to pack them off to their room, relaxed food - we've taken a cold box with meals from our freezer before so don't have to cook. YADNBU.

Have you thought of a keycamp type holiday in a mobile home? Perfect with little ones.

Definitely self catering, although DS1s allergies are a factor. A washing machine is essential, saves packing half the house (Was a total Godsend on the week he had explosive diahorrea after we were misinformed about some butter on some vegetables and he used up all his clothes in a couple of days). Self catering means he can eat something other than fish fingers and chips. We are free to pick where we want to eat. There is space for the DCs to play and chill. They can go to bed in their own rooms, and no walks at 5am because we've given up on sleep, and are terrified that the rooms above, below and to the sides aren't getting sleep either. We're getting beyond the sleeping in a buggy stage, and if it was more than a couple of, nights, we'd go dolally very quickly.

A bit more cooking and washing up seems like the easy option! Plus we're not tired from work so it's less of a chore than at home.

Friends have had great times in all inclusive, some are better than others for food choices. Some restrict the times drinks and food available but in this age of the review that's easy to avoid. I've heard tales of being able to sunbathe and read in all inclusive but only when old enough for the kids clubs. It does reduce costs if the kids want drinks and ice cream all the time but ours are the same as age as OP's and I wouldn't want it too temptingly provided. Until they're older I would also prefer a more contained environment around a swimming pool than most hotels have. I was sorely tempted by the idea, but soon put off after researching. I would go for it in a few years though. Maybe let DH do the research, throw in a few of your visions of holidaying and he'll either find something you will enjoy too or decide for himself that it isn't as idyllic as it sounds with two small children.

You sound extremely snobbish. If you want to do loads of cooking and cleaning whilst on holiday, then go ahead and go self catering