To think DH is talking out of his arse?

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

Re: holidays.
We have two small dcs. 3 yo and 1 yo.
Last year we had a great villa holiday (v. Fortunate) it was lovely. Warm weather, relaxing enough because all amenities on hand IYSWIM. Got to do and see stuff.
He stubbornly insists maintains that an all inclusive hotel hols would be better. He thinks "everyone" agrees with that. He simply doesn't see what I am complaining about.
I think a hotel room, however comfortable, sounds like a fucking nightmare in our situation. I can't bear the idea of not having the convenient base that self catering gives you IYSWIM. Every meal taken in a massive dining room with two little ones. I'm getting chest pain just thinking about it.
Aibu? Is he right?
Or is he talking shit?

We only take AI holidays, and have done since DD was a babe in arms.

Lots of AI holidays have hotel rooms with a 'kitchenette' and seperate bedroom. We used those when DD was under 5. It meant that if she was tired or cranky she could have a simple beans on toast type meal and then we'd eat later on.

We've never been to a place that was "overcrowded, noisy, shoddy hellscapes with poor food". Most have very open sittings for food, breakfasts from 6am till 10am, lunches from 12 till 2, evening meals from 5-9. If you avoid the classic 9am breakfast 12pm lunch 6pm dinner then you avoid the busiest times.

I hate the thought of self catering - for me it isn't a holiday if I am cooking and cleaning. Same as being at home but with less toys!

You aren't stuck in the complex, you can go out and about as much as you can from a villa, plus as the kids get older they can make friends with other kids rather than having to play with each other.

I'm with your DH I'm afraid

You can sit down together at an all inclusive, just takes drinks back to your room and sit on the veranda.

I'm with you OP - its not the eating thing though its what to do of an evening that bothers me with a hotel. If there is only one bedroom (and I only have one child so there would be only one bedroom) then what to do of an evening when my DS goes to bed (hes in bed by 8pm even on holiday)? The choices would be go to bed or sit on the balcony (quietly) with a book. Every night for two weeks - no thanks! At least with a villa you have a lounge/dining space where you can choose to eat later, watch TV, have a few drinks with some music etc.

I dunno pumpkin
Queuing for breakfast, lunch and supper with a toddling 1 yo in tow comes to mind.
Also, we used to enjoy holidays in AI hotels Pre dcs. They were great. Laying on the beach, reading by the pool, swimming, scuba diving, drinking cocktails all afternoon.
None of those things are really doable when you have to supervise two small childn in a crowded environment.

Your DH is incorrect to say that everyone prefers AI.

I've never done all inclusive but have stayed half board and B&B in a hotel that offers it.

I can see the attraction if you want to eat and drink a lot or want to fix what you spend in advance. They also offer entertainment in the evenings and kids clubs and activities in the daytime. We also make sure we get a balcony or terrace so we can sit outside in our own space.

However, the first time we went HB, I realised that one thing I like to do on an evening is go for a wander, a drink and tapas or a meal outdoors (we always go to Spain and its islands). I wouldn't do HB again for this reason as I didn't like the evening buffet. I do like the breakfast buffet though, but I think I have decided that our next holiday will be self catering in an apartment (just a couple so a villa would be more space than we need and expensive).

The other thing I have decided that I don't like about hotels is maid service. I don't see the need for the bathroom to be cleaned everyday and feel bad that it has been left in a mess and made this difficult for them. I also don't like how they make the beds and pile them up with cushions .

I don't know where you are looking and I have only holidayed in Spain. I don't know if it is different in Egypt/Carribean etc. I would do AI if the hotel restaurant(s) offered table service outside on an evening, but not otherwise.

With SC in a villa, you don't need to cook all the time (BBQ, takeaways, eat out, simple food) and when we have SC in the past, I have never done any cleaning during the holiday apart from keeping the kitchen usable - always get a dishwasher - all other cleaning and tidying is left until leaving day.

I would also see the advantage if you have DCs is that you could put them to bed and then have a nice meal just you and DH in the villa, which wouldn't be possible in the hotel.

An all inclusive hotel where your 'room' is a little bungalow would be a good compromise, though not a cheap one. And you take a couple of extra bread rolls at dinner to have to hand in the morning, or buy biscuits and juice boxes to keep the kids going until you get to breakfast.

I see both sides really. Villas are lovely and relaxed, but you are still doing most of what you do at home albeit in a nicer setting. At a hotel, there are people there to do things for you. He and you do a lot less.

You can get all inclusive hotels which still have a small kitchen facilities and are more an apartment than a hotel room.

Think as others have said its horses for courses. Both have advantages and disadvantages. When I've gone all inclusive and want a night off we take a couple of drinks up to the room with us. Or buy bottles from a local shops and relax on the balcony and that was pre kids.

Thanks for all replies though. It's good to have some perspective. And some ideas.
Obviously I won't be showing dh the thread, thanks to ppl like LtEveDallas

Villa all the way.
I want all the comforts I have at home. Everyone has own room and bathroom. We eat out every night, lunch is just salads etc . A cleaner comes in every day, lots of space and peace. We go to a villa on a complex so Ds can go to one of the communal pools if he wants.

I would have been totally in agreement with you until I went on an AI. It wasn't my choosing at all. But it was absolutely brilliant. We had an apartment type room with a fridge and sitting area, 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and balcony. The accom was in 'garden bungalows', so not hotel accommodation. The complex was fairly vast, with 6 different eateries, some posh, some not and everything in between. From somewhere or other food was available from 6am till midnight. I had a totally relaxing week, not cooking a thing, and as the 2 main restaurants were buffets we could always find lots of things that suited the dc's palate and routine. the food was very high quality too.

That was 3 years ago and although we have done SC since (which we still also love), we are about to go on another one.

I'd say do it, but choose carefully. We stayed SC last year in Menorca in a place that was also AI. It was rubbish for the AI guests as there was only 1 restaurant with very fixed mealtimes and very little in between. A lot of them felt very short changed and we saw a few families in the foyer demanding to be moved!

Villa every time. I've only done the all inclusive thing once but there's no comparison IMO.

Queuing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner

What kind of AI are we talking about here? Cheap shite in Benidorm = vile. Club Med = fabulous.

I like AI, or at least half-board when we go away. I don't want to be cooking, and shopping, and washing up just like I am at home. The only exception is when we go to the family holiday home.

Hmm. Dh does like to eat. It's a big event.
I would be happy to grab an ice cream/ chips when out.
Dcs are not fussy eaters (thank goodness- we were lucky there)

He is better than I am at going out tbh.
I find it all very difficult and never seem to relax.

MrsDavid - could you point me to a website where I might find that? Sounds interesting as the DCs get a bit older.

Stripytop is right. Choose carefully if you go all inclusive, and do your homework on the reviews. You do not want a Butlins in the sun type of affair.

Neither of you are wrong. Toss a coin. Stop at best of 7 if you are losing

I have never had a AI holiday across Europe that has just been a room, they have always had at least a kitchenette.

The places that I have stayed have offered AI, HB and SC, I have often got a better deal on AI than some have on a room only basis.

I also haven't experienced crap food, or long queues.

I don't understand why some people think that it means that you are stuck in the place that you are staying.

Perhaps it is because if you wouldn't consider AI, you don't do price comparisons and realise that with "early booking internet discounts", you can pay the same for SC or at least on the cost of what drinking water would cost for AI.

The only time that I have stayed in a room only situation is in Eygpt, which definitely AI works out the best deal, unless you have a massive holiday budget.

Amanda do you go out much at home with the DCs? If not I can see why it would be stressful on holiday, it is like anything really you have to practise!

alibaba my experience of AI is limited. Only ever been to them (sandals etc) in the Caribbean. So maybe some are better and there isnt that refectory feeling at mealtimes.
I've never been to benidorm. Not really keen tbh.

"He is better than I am at going out tbh.
I find it all very difficult and never seem to relax."

Is this since having your children?

If so it may be good to push yourself and I think it teaches children to mix and accept new experiences.

I only stay in 4+ star AI, though.

I do go out with them. And it's enjoyable. But ds is an active little boy and I don't need ppl shushing us at the poolside or to be stopping a baby from toppling into the pool surrounded by lots of couples looking like I'm getting in their way. Dh and I never go out in the evening as we have no local help/ babysitters. So I guess I was hoping for the occasional glass of Rioja on the terrace after the dcs had gone to bed on holiday.

I like the idea of someone else cleaning the bathroom every day though.

YANBU! I much prefer gite/villa holidays. They give you much more privacy and your own space. You can always eat in local restaurants.

I don't tend to do much cleaning in gites either... we're usually out most days.

I like having my own time in the evenings, and not having to share with millions of other people.

Under age 5 we always booked AI with kitchenette and sep bedroom - we went to Majorca twice, Fuertaventura (sp?), Gran Canaria and Tenerife. They were very family friendly and not too expensive.

Plus 5 we have been to Morocco, Tunisia and Egypt twice. If we go on holiday this year we will probably go to Greece or back to Egypt. These were hotel rooms rather than apartments, but the rooms were large and its not like we spent that much time in them in any case.

The only place that had bad food/queues was Morocco, but it was just a bad choice of hotel. We still had a great time. I'd like to go back, but would probably go for a Riu this time.

When DD was toddling we used reins or kept her in her buggy. I can imagine that it would be harder with two, but not that hard. Give each parent a single child to monitor maybe

As a single mum of three ai suits us better