To ask, if you could go back in time to your lowest point...

[newsecretidentity]

and say one thing to yourself-- what would you say?

In the words of d:reem...

Things can only get better xx

Try harder to get help - you will lose your career if you don't.

Leave. You will regret it if you don't.

Keep on keeping on ...

After losing DH to a sudden heart attack the months following were like a big black hole where I felt my life was over, if I knew then what I know now, I would be able to say

You will find happiness again, daisychain, its a different kind, life will and can never be the same again, but that happiness will feel OK all the same [some time later my DP and DSS arrived out of the blue, as if from nowhere]

Stay in Thailand.

"One day this moment will become your drive to help others!"

RUN dont wait for things to get better kick him out and RUN!!

Ask for help.

Trust someone to guide you through, hour by hour.

Nothing will ever be this bad again.

lollerskates I hope things are soon looking brighter for you. Wishing you strength and happiness x

This thread has brought up all kinds of thoughts for me. I'm not suicidal but there is a very small part of me that would say to my 16 year old self 'just do it. You'll battle with depression your whole adult life & there will be times when it just feels too hard. Do it now & save yourself the pain'.

I'm a bit disturbed that I'm thinking like this. I have 2 wonderful boys and wouldn't have them if I'd done things differently. But I'm just tired of not enjoying things as I feel I should.

Maybe I'd just give my 16 year old self a hug & say everything will be ok, it won't always be easy, but it will be ok.

I couldn't. It still hurts me and frightens me. Sorry. Sofa surfing, husband made redundant twice and depressed, mum breast cancer and about 10 other major things at the same time which I don't want to say as it hurts too much and might out me. All I can say is that we survived and surviving that means we can survive anything. Alot more relaxed about the small things and living each day. Also I don't keep things for best. Every day is a best day, enjoy it! Xxx

Things do get better....alot better. Believe me!!!!

expat

I've just been reading the thread all the way through and I think the body's post was a typo? I bloody hope it was.

TheBody Fri 21-Mar-14 22:33:24
Expat cowards way to talk to you but the bs

But then a few posts down and within a minute came:

TheBody Fri 21-Mar-14 22:34:40
Best I manage

I just didn't want to stop reading this thread thinking of you upset. I don't know The Body but I believe this is what happened.

to you expat and Mrs Devere

I have lost friends in their 20's and 30's. It hurt.

I have lost my grandparents when I was in my 20's. It hurts.

I have lived with those losses, I have cried and grieved but for the most part, my life has carried on.

I lost my son aged 22, that loss has destroyed me. Nothing in the world can prepare you for that pain. I get up every morning, I get dressed, I go to work. I see friends, I cook and clean. I look as though I am getting on with life.

My life ended the night my son was found. I am going though the motions.

There is no loss as dreadful and destroying as the loss of a child, it doesn't matter whether they were newborn, toddlers or young adults. It is the loss of opportunity and promise. It is the loss of all your hopes and dreams. It is the agonising realisation that you cannot kiss everything better.

It is knowing that you will never see their smile, hear their laughter or wipe their tears. It is knowing that you will never see them get a degree, married or hold their newborn in their arms.

It is watching their siblings needing you to have the answers and you don't have them. It is watching your other children realise that mum cannot make everything ok.

There is no loss like it. The people who belittle our losses by likening them to loosing their dog/cat/elderly grandparent haven't got a clue and hopefully never will have.

to Expat, MrsD and Everlong.

This too will pass, there will be a time when you achieve a new normal and you can cope (re chemo, the death of my mum, the death of my dh and my breast cancer dx not in that order).

mumof2teenboys that must be the greatest loss of all. I have no words to say how much I salute all who have suffered the loss of a child and gone on. As a mother I can only imagine the horror of wht you, expat and the others have endured

Expat xx

Mine: one year, nearly to the minute you will have another beautiful baby. This one will be healthy, funny, determined, loving and make life worth living for again.
Throughout labour you will keep looking at the clock in disbelief at how close the times are. The moment you are handed your darling girl will be the best moment of your life.
I had just lost my premmie boy. We never got to know all that he could be.
On their birthday this year dd will be 3, ds would have been 4.
She will be told about her big brother.
I hate when people ask how many children I have. I feel like I am ignoring his very existence when I say 1.

Keep breathing. One day it won't hurt as much.

I am having a down moment now, so what I would tell myself many years ago when I was feeling very down is probably not helpful to anyone.

My heart goes out to the posters who've lost dc.

My lowest point was 9 years ago. I had very severe PND i was planning on how to kill ds & I.

I would say to myself, 'Get to the gp now. Leave dp. You will be changed by this experience. It's preparing you for finding out ds is autistic'.

you will be better than just fine just need to believe it