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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People suggesting things for me to do because I'm a SAHM

108 replies

madchocolatemum48 · 18/03/2014 09:26

I am a SAHM and there are a few other mums at kids school who when I do meet them feel the need to suggest how I spend my time.
This morning
Her " What are you up to?"
Me;"Oh still renovating the house"
Her; " Maybe if you had a hobby or a little job"
Me; "Once we have finished renovating and the kids are in full time education, yes I probably will"
Her; " I don't know how you can not work, it would drive me nuts"
Me; "I do work"
Her; "Yeah, but not properly"
AIBU to want to tell them to F off.

OP posts:
Backtobedlam · 18/03/2014 09:30

Ha ha-none of her business what you do. I think I'd be tempted to tell her I was going home to have tea and toast while watching Jeremy Kyle, then maybe back to bed for a nap.

MrsBennetsEldest · 18/03/2014 09:32

UANBU at all. Tell them to bog off.
Next time, when asked what you are up to, reply, putting my family first.Smile and carry on with your day.

NinjaBunny · 18/03/2014 09:32

Nope.

Tell the to 'fuck off' if that's what your brain is telling you.

Me; "I do work"
Her; "Yeah, but not properly"

She's monstrously rude, you can be too.

Wink

Her; " Maybe if you had a hobby or a little job"

And how fucking patronising is that?

Shock
PostmanPatAlwaysRingsTwice · 18/03/2014 09:34

I think a "fuck off" would be perfectly justified in this situation.

MsMischief · 18/03/2014 09:39

I get this too. I work p/t but as it's DP's business it doesn't 'count'. I also write but that's not something I spread about as you get the avalanche of questions/comments (Can I read it? What have you had published? Is it finished yet? Is it finished yet? Is it finished yet? What? Still?).

Apparently I need a job as I will be bored. They always suggest a 'little job' too Hmm.

Minimou · 18/03/2014 09:40

I often think that people who go on like this, trying to put you down etc, are doing it because they feel uncomfortable or unhappy about their own choices or circumstances.

StanleyLambchop · 18/03/2014 09:40

" I don't know how you can not work, it would drive me nuts"

'Thank you for your concern but I really am fine'
Now piss off

MsMischief · 18/03/2014 09:41

I think the woman who keeps suggesting I 'just become a childminder' is motivated by wanting me to be her childminder.

Burren · 18/03/2014 09:44

Outrageously rude. Karate-chop her on the windpipe and tell her that actually your 'little job' is as a hired assassin.

StanleyLambchop · 18/03/2014 09:45

Burren- I like your style!

SilverLining · 18/03/2014 09:46

Snap! I get this too nearly every single morning! I just find its another example of people thinking they have the right to tell you what you are doing is wrong/right! From the minute I got pregnant people feel that they can comment on what you are eating/drinking/size of bump/what colour socks you wear....
I just smile now and say the coffee & toast & Jeremy Kyle line!
Its nobodies business in the same way that I don't question people who work full time and how do they manage to find time to do the many loads of washing etc!
The world would be very boring if we were all the same!

TheBody · 18/03/2014 09:47

I would just go with the fuck off or better sorry are you jealous

Bonsoir · 18/03/2014 09:48

Her: I don't know how you cannot work, it would drive me nuts.

You: Yes, because you have no imagination - you require someone else to fill your time for you.

mrsjay · 18/03/2014 09:48

I once got do you not feel guilty for not earning any money Shock i did tell them it was nothing to do with them really wanted to go for the fuck off option though, I also got well jay can do x y z because she is at home all day piss off

mrsjay · 18/03/2014 09:49

Outrageously rude. Karate-chop her on the windpipe and tell her that actually your 'little job' is as a hired assassin.

Grin
tiggytape · 18/03/2014 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whiteblossom · 18/03/2014 09:57

"what do you do all day"

"well, I walk the dog, supermarket shop, washing, ironing, cooking, collecting dropping off dry cleaning, library books, family prescriptions, cleaning, pay bills, make costumes for ds school play/book day, make cakes for fairs, have playdates, take my kids out, wait for the repair fella, sort out bday parties, decorating, sewing, plan and book holidays, look after my mum & dad and grandparents- how do you find time to work?"

fuckers.

OnlyLovers · 18/03/2014 09:58

I love 'sorry are you jealous' Grin.

But I'd probably go with 'What do you mean by "properly"'? Or 'What do you think of as "work" then'? Try to get people to explain themselves. It'll trip them up.

Or just use Burren's hired-assassin line.

How fucking rude and patronising. And yes, why is it always a 'little' job? Hmm

GemmaTeller · 18/03/2014 09:59

Dear brother....
No, I don't want to take your parcels in, get your kids, go and pick up/drop off ....

Just because my office is in my home doesn't mean I'm not working.

I told him this ^^ and now he's not talking to me, apparently I'm being unreasonable because he and his wife work full time and I don't.

mrsjay · 18/03/2014 09:59

you know folk would be up in arms if we said to them god how can you leave your baby all day the poor mite (not thAT I WOULD EVER SAY THAT TO ANYBODY)

mrsjay · 18/03/2014 09:59

sorry my caps locked

mrsjay · 18/03/2014 10:00

why is it always a 'little' job?

it used to be follwed by to earm some pin money Shock

Mrswellyboot · 18/03/2014 10:01

I am not a Sahp but I can tell you that that women knew rightly she is rude

I work but the people I work with are also very rude at times. If someone leans over you will hear 'ooh, she is wearing stretchy trousers, she must be expecting' etc etc

Pregnant - oh you're boobs are so big, you are MASSIVE

The older I get, the more I see a lack of tact in people and it isn't confined to the school gates. You could go to work and meet people as rude.

PooroldJumbo · 18/03/2014 10:01

Whiteblossom - (I work p/t so have a foot in both camps) in fairness working parents do that too.

behindthetimes · 18/03/2014 10:02

yanbu how annoying!