People suggesting things for me to do because I'm a SAHM

[madchocolatemum48]

I am a SAHM and there are a few other mums at kids school who when I do meet them feel the need to suggest how I spend my time.
This morning
Her " What are you up to?"
Me;"Oh still renovating the house"
Her; " Maybe if you had a hobby or a little job"
Me; "Once we have finished renovating and the kids are in full time education, yes I probably will"
Her; " I don't know how you can not work, it would drive me nuts"
Me; "I do work"
Her; "Yeah, but not properly"
AIBU to want to tell them to F off.

I never bother what acquaintances think. I have been judged for changing jobs a lot because I like a challenge, so folk are used to me working out of the home. I became a foster carer with very challenging placements. I was at the number of close friends/family who said things like "it's not like you not to work" or "what job are you doing". This is usually after I have been talking about meetings, hospital appts, more meetings, how I have never been so tired.....etc, etc. Oh and I was also managing the major renovation of our home.

It is as word (was that the poster?) said. As a woman you get asked, often intrusively, about your choices and implicitly asked to justify them all the time. I am a WOHM and have been asked repeatedly 'so you work full-time?' with the head tilt. I don't believe my DH has ever been asked this.

I love my job and so FT works best for me but if I was at home and in charge of my own day, I wouldn't be bored at all. There are so many possibilities! I accept that if you're looking after small children you aren't always in charge of your own day in the same way so this may not always apply (was my experience on mat leave). But it's certainly very rude to just assume that someone's day spent at home would by definition be boring and unbearable. There are so many jobs out there that make for a very boring day, surely!

I also would not ask a SAHP to do stuff for me routinely because I am effectively expecting them to subside me. If I need childcare I pay for it. There are exceptions in emergencies, of course, but that's not the same as expecting someone else's time to be yours to colonise just because they are in a paid job.

Wow, this thread took off...
I think my gripe is when people assume if you don't get paid to work then you don't work.
I work, believe me.
Dh and I do what works for us as a family. We made decisions and sacrifices so that I can stay home with the kids. These are our decisions. How dare someone else judge us for that.
I think because I won't justify myself by explaining what I do all day probably annoys her too.
I would never advise someone on how to live their life.
You may as well say " I think the decisions you and your family are making are shite, so this is what you should do instead"

I always said I was going home for a cup of tea and then going back to bed.

I do a lot of building work, DH does to but I do the bulk of the labouring whilst the kids are at school. We have an amazing, creative home because of it.

I get asked this kind of thing by.... pretty much everyone. DH often works abroad, no family nearby.

I always want to say "but when would I shag your husband/Dad/brother" but I'm trying hard to be a lady

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best response yet.
You should really say it!