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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder what is best for a child, nursery or childminder??

148 replies

Hotmad · 17/03/2014 20:48

I had in my mind that when I begrudgingly go back to work I would find a childminder for my DD who will be around 1 yr old.
A friend then told me that a nursery would be better as they would get more social integration there.

OP posts:

Nojustalurker · 17/03/2014 20:50

A good childminder will take the children to social groups and will probably also have other children in their care.

WorraLiberty · 17/03/2014 20:52

I've never been in that position but if I was, I would choose a child minder.

BornFreeButinChains · 17/03/2014 20:53

I would go with child minder but only one i felt totally comfortable with of course...

Toddler groups and so on are full of nannies and child minders, plenty of time for interaction, also at parks in the summer...but the bonus of a little more tailor made care. I guess it depends what nurseries and cm you have near you...there may be none you feel ok with.

DragonMamma · 17/03/2014 20:54

I used nursery for one and a childminder for another. Their personalities were completely different and my dc who went to a childminder wouldn't have coped well in a larger setting as he was much older going than my dc1.

I think it's often down to what suits their temperament best. That said, my dc who went to nursery is much more social than her childminded brother.

outtheothersidefinally · 17/03/2014 20:54

Childminder, until they are around age 3, I think.

MyNameIsKenAdams · 17/03/2014 20:55

Childminder. My reasons:

(1) home from home environment
(2) quality time with one sole carer
(3) home cooked food usually eaten with CMs own family
(4) more likely to give hugs and kisses
(5) less kids for mine to catch bugs from
(6) more trips out (daily as opposed to weekly)
(7) more flexible with tailoring the day to the mindees own requests "yes, Johnny, we can go to the beach today, and Suzie wants to go to the soft play so we can all do that tomorrow"

I could go on, but only you can make that decision.

BertieBotts · 17/03/2014 20:57

Depends on the child, depends on the nursery, depends on the childminder.

At 1 social integration is really not that important - more important is a dedicated one to one person who can bond with the child. That doesn't mean they have to do all of their care but they should be doing most of it and forming a relationship. Nurseries can achieve this but it is rarer.

If they do play with other children a 1 year old is likely to have more fun with children older than 3 - toddlers generally aren't interested in other babies and toddlers. So either plenty of adult interaction or older kids.

I lean towards childminder because I think it is difficult for a nursery to provide this. However a good nursery could, it's just a case of finding it!

TheBody · 17/03/2014 20:58

I was beyond wonderful as a cm.

however either is fine if they are good. does that make sense? you know what I mean.

go and visit and if using either ask them for references.

I used to ask my previous parents if it was ok for a prospective parent to call them.
if they are proud of their setting either should be happy to do this.

PortofinoRevisited · 17/03/2014 20:59

I did nursery but had the choice of a really good one, recommended by friends etc. Upside - no disruption for holidays/illness on their side. Downside - really strict policy on illness on dd's part which meant a lot of holiday/working at home/collecting her in the middle of the day when mostly there was nothing the matter at all. I am not talking d&v/chicken pox/conjunctivitis type stuff where obviously I would expect to keep her home. Otherwise - it was small groups, lovely employees, nice food, lots of activities.

WhoDaresWins · 17/03/2014 21:01

At age one, a childminder. At age three, a nursery.

HandragsNGladbags · 17/03/2014 21:01

Nursery for me, but both mine went from about 11 months and really enjoyed it. It's a small nursery and very caring, lots of cuddles.

I tried a child minder for a while when our circumstances changed but she sprung a couple of holidays on me, which left me short of child care, and there weren't often many children there.

So back to the nursery we went.

A lot will also depend on the type of childcare you need. If you were a teacher for example, a child minder taking 3 weeks hols in the summer holiday won't be an issue. If you work shifts all year round with no support then a nursery would give you more stability, no sickness for example if the carer is ill.

TheScience · 17/03/2014 21:03

For babies, a childminder. Somewhere between 2 and 3 (depending on the child) nursery becomes better.

Under 2s need solid attachments to consistent adults - over 3s care more about the company of other children, bikes and climbing frames.

Backtobedlam · 17/03/2014 21:03

If I had a personal recommendation I'd choose a childminder, but I'd feel more comfortable with a nursery if it was a case of looking through the local register.

CheshireDing · 17/03/2014 21:03

Personally I prefer nursery for our children, we looked at cm, nanny and nursery.

You have to go with whatever suits you and your child.

HauntedNoddyCar · 17/03/2014 21:04

There isn't a definitive answer. It depends on the child, the parents and the particular childcare provider.

We picked a local cm because it suited us and dd best. We have the kind of jobs where we could work at home if the cm or her dc were ill. As it happens she's never been ill. And she's brilliant.

kimlo · 17/03/2014 21:10

I started off using a childminder and she was really good, but you are completely reliant on one person. It's not just her sicknesses theres her holidays as well.

When she gave up childminding dd2 ended up in a nursery anyway. Dd2 did really well in the nursery and she loved it. I dont think it would have suited dd1 so much at the same age.

eveylikesv · 17/03/2014 21:18

I chose CM over nursery for my DS when he was 11 months old. My CM was recommended to me and she is great with ds. She takes him to play groups and park every day, they do loads of activities in her house and she provides him with a lovely home cooked meals. For the first month he was the only child in her care and now she only has one more child. I chose her over nursery because l wanted more 1-2-1 care and l didn't want ds to be left to cry and be changed hourly rather than when he needs it. Also nurseries in my area are massive money making institutions (each for 100 plus children) and l didn't like any of them. One last thing to consider, since starting at CM ds was ill once, after contracting virus at his friend's b/day party, his other 2 little mates, who are both in the nursery have been ill almost constantly since they started, with both moms forced to take time off work on weekly basis. I really don't think at this age babies need a lot of 'socialising' but they definitely need attention.

crazy88 · 17/03/2014 21:20

CM for me too. Have never been in a nursery that didn't give me a headache after about 10 mins. Can't imagine what a full day would be like.

Allegrogirl · 17/03/2014 21:23

I chose nursery as irrationally I didn't want DD in the sole care of one person and I was concerned a CM would prioritise their own child/ren (my brother went to a CM and she always took the side of her pfb against her other child and my DB). Also my manager is very inflexible so I need reliable childcare. I didn't know anyone from mat leave days who chose a CM, we had all gone for the nursery option for some reason.

Nursery has been great for my two. It's been over 5 years since my DD1 started and many of the staff are still there and ask after her. When we go up for events they always give DD1 cuddles and she's in year 1 now. DD2 is a velcro child but she gets all cuddles and affection she needs. The staff really know her and always have time to chat about her at pick up time.

I reluctantly sent my DD1 to a CM for after school care a couple of nights a week as after school club finished too early for us. She is brilliant. So the right CM can be the perfect choice, it's just finding one!

My DCs have done 1.5 to 2.5 days a week at nursery over the years. If I was full time I would probably use nursery 2-3 days and CM 2-3 days as nursery is very tiring for little ones (if you have nap refusers like my two).

Purplepoodle · 17/03/2014 21:24

Childcare should suit their personality. My third dc is 10 months, walking and into everything. He will be joining his siblings in daycare when he is 13 months. Like his brothers he will probably go straight into the tots room rather than the babies as he is very active.

I prefer daycare as I like the social interaction plus you know what's going on in a nursery as you can just drop in. My nursery don't have a tv which is a big plus for me. Only issue I have with childminders in my situation is that my ds would be woken from his nap to did the school run.

DoYonisHangLow · 17/03/2014 21:25

I agree with most PP about a childminder being better in theory but I think it also delends on how often you're using childcare.

I wanted a CM for my DD2 (started at 1yr, now just turned 2) and wraparound care for DD1 but couldn't find one I liked so I sent her to a nursery that DD1 went to for her preschool hours. It's a nice enough nursery but I don't love it, I don't think the workers do a bad job but I don't think they're amazing either, pretty sure Dd2 just gets left to it a lot of the time. But then she only goes 1 day a week. If she was needing full time care I'd definitely have searched high and wide for a CM, nursery is too much for hours and days on end IMO.

Pilgit · 17/03/2014 21:28

It will depend on all the variables - you, the children, the child minder and the nursery choices. There is no right or wrong per se just what is your best solution. We did nursery for both of ours.

maddening · 17/03/2014 21:29

when ds was 10 mths he went to a nursery which I chose as it is more convenient workwise - eg childminder could be sick which I would have to cover and when he was so little I felt happier he wasn't mixed in with older dc and they had their own group of nursery workers. That was only for 5 weeks before my voluntary redundancy kicked in which gave me enough to have a further 1 1/2 yrs off.

this time I chose a preschool that does wrap round care which I chose as it was outstanding on offsted and a good reputation and felt right - he is in the smaller room but mingled with 3 and 4 yr old till 3 when some ordinary after school dc come in till he is picked up at 4 - and it is fab cost wise as it is cheaper than nurseries and we can save money by not using holiday club about £1800 this year will be saved compared to a nursery - more at nursery rates! I think ds at 2.5 was ready for this environment which is the same as any nursery imo.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 17/03/2014 21:29

My DC's nursery is wonderful. I've shown up so often unexpectedly and the care for the children is great, certainly no question of being left unchanged a nappy as suggested up thread. The food is delicious and the outdoor play area fab. The nursery is completely reliable as you're not relying on an individual. They even have a hairdresser in monthly. The only time they close is for a few days between Christmas and New Year. I can't recommend them enough.

Littlefish · 17/03/2014 21:30

I would say, childminder for baby - 3 years old, then nursery.

However, that does depend on registering with a good childminder.

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