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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Carrie Bradshaw has no redeeming qualities?

300 replies

losercruiser · 16/03/2014 21:04

I just finished the episode where she invites Big to stay with her and Aidan in their cabin in the woods.

Now if my boyfriend cheated on me (not just a one off but had a full blown affair with a married woman) and we had got to the point where I had somehow managed to forgive him and we were trying again. If we went on a weekend break and he invited the other woman because she was having boyfriend problems and they were good friends - I'd think fuck that!

I know Aidan didnt have to put up with that but there are many other examples of her not having any redeeming qualities -

Berating Charlotte for not offering to lend her thousands of dollars.
Always talking about herself - I remember when Stanford called her out on it.
Letting Aidan propose to her when she obviously didnt want to marry him.

OP posts:
SinglePringle · 19/03/2014 17:43

Sure - I guess I mean to not denigrate her choices. To not belittle the choices she may make about her to live her life for being different to the 'norm'.

NeverGetTheBestOfMe · 19/03/2014 17:51

The thing i never got about Carrie was when she was single she would be whining in the coffee shop about finding love etc etc then when she found a guy she would be whining in the coffee shop about the relationship and trying to find something wrong with it.

Didn't she once moan that her relationship with aiden was "too comfortable" and spent the episode trying to find something wrong with it?

There was no pleasing her.

Burren · 19/03/2014 17:54

Gosh, I thought that the episode where Carrie invites her friend to reimburse her for her stolen shoes by a gift from her personal 'I'm single - celebrate me' registry was a satire on consumerism, rather than a hard-hitting dig at society's refusal to celebrate singleness. I assumed we were to laugh at Carrie, not think 'How profound. Indeed our society reserves its rites of passage for couples and reproducers'....

(And I always wondered about whoever actually stole the damn shoes - if you invited friends over, and one of your friends stole something valuable belonging to another friend, wouldn't you be pretty invested in figuring out who it was for your own peace of mind, let alone that of your friend?)

And yes, I realise SATC didn't invent shoe obsession, or somehow generate the market forces that drove the heavy pushing of expensive accessories in the late 20thc, but I hold to my point that, as an influential TV programme, it was a crucial organ in convincing the world at large that women obsess over shoes, as though it's a given.

Kudzugirl · 19/03/2014 18:00

Sinister The ending of that episode was the weak point IMO- Carrie sent out a wedding invite to her friend (the one that shamed her and wouldn't take seriously her distress at having her shoes stolen from her apartment during the shower) saying that Carrie was getting married to Carrie. She sent her the wedding gift list with one item upon it- the Manolo shoes that were stolen and where to buy them. The friend took her kids with her to the store, got told off for letting them run around unattended (bit spiteful I thougt-that dig at Mothers) and replaced them.

I imagine the media/fashion/popular culture as having a kind of 'Bouncing Betty' in perpetuity model- each splash into a moment of popular culture ie SATC generates enough 'lift' to propel it all forward landing in a different place, a different time producing ever expanding ripples. Certainly a day spent in the V&A (and an appointment with its archives) soon shows you how much art and fashion intersect. When you see collaborations between artists such Marc Quinn, Freud and Cecily Brown with models such as Kate Moss, the exquisite use of architectural principle in the clothing of Yojii Yamamoto and Rei Kawakubo and the iconoclastic designs of Balenciaga and Schiaparelli, you do see 'The Art'. The same also applies back in the day in the use of clothing to signify power, wealth, sexual status in the paintings made of Queen Elizabeth the First and in the portraiture of Gainsborough even at his most bucolic. I believe from the moment humans first developed a sense of self and theory of mind, we had style and we had fashion.

It is certainly true that perfume is the most lucrative of all 'accessories'. Most fashion houses make a loss on their clothing- Chanel probably doesn't but being privately owned, publishes no figures so we will never know. You need either a buy out from a corporation like LMVH, a hedge fund injection (which is not interested in long term results) or a lucrative link up with a High St company like H&M.

Patricia Field (costume designer for SATC) definitely popularised the mixing of High-Low and the incorporation of vintage into everyday and event fashion. I did like a lot of Carries outfits- that slightly 'off' look appeals and I like the fact that many of her outfits catered not to the male gaze but to the female one. Not all, but many of them.

MissBattleaxe · 20/03/2014 10:16

I loved SATC when I was single, but now I'm a married mother, Carrie seems utterly self obsessed and her naval gazing gets right on my tits.

I also think its either anti-motherhood or fails utterly in relating the reality of motherhood, but then I guess it wasn't SATC's job to do that.

Francagoestohollywood · 20/03/2014 11:42

I enjoyed SATC even more after becoming a mother!

squoosh · 20/03/2014 11:43

One of the best things about SATC for me is that motherhood was never a central theme.

MissBattleaxe · 20/03/2014 12:02

squoosh, yes it wouldn't have been Sex and the City there was too much parenthood going on!

SinglePringle · 20/03/2014 16:27

MrsBattle, the irony - that the episode that sparked the latter part of this discussion was concerned with woman becoming mothers and finding the occupations and pre-occupations of their single / childless friends - of your comment is brilliant! (Here is where the 'I'm not being sarky' emoticon would be most useful).

limitedperiodonly · 20/03/2014 16:38

I'm off to put on my Alexander McQueen Mary-Jane platforms and gaze at them. And stroke them. But only downwards because I don't want to ruffle the snakeskin.

DrOwh · 20/03/2014 16:38

Yep.
The reason why I love SATC is because it transports me to a world I don't belong to and never will. It is the joy if fantasy.

If I was single and childless I would probably feel pressurised by their life style and not enjoy it at all.

squoosh · 20/03/2014 16:48

Most American programmes introduce parenthood as a theme and then keep the kids firmly offstage. Rachel in Friends had a baby but I don't think she was ever seen!

Proper order.

Francagoestohollywood · 20/03/2014 19:56

To be completely honest, the amount of navel gazing in mothers is often unbeatable Grin

Kudzugirl · 20/03/2014 20:16

Grin at Franca You do have a point.

MaddAddam · 20/03/2014 20:42

Another Grin at Franca.

I liked SATC despite not being interested in shoes, fashion, New York or skinny model types. I like a bit of navel gazing, and I like stories about women, friendship, sex and relationships. I just blanked out the bits about shoes.

BlueFrenchHorn · 20/03/2014 21:32

I've had to google navel-gazing. Have never heard that expression before! I thought you lot were all talking literally, like carrie looks at people's Stomachs a lot lol.

Lighthousekeeping · 22/03/2014 18:28

How strange. Its gone from being on constantly to not on at all!

BlueFrenchHorn · 23/03/2014 04:51

It's on comedy central x at the moment at 1am I think. I TiVo it. Up the the part where Carrie and Aidan are back together again.

chai1853 · 08/05/2014 21:27

I'm so glad I'm not alone in not liking SJP's character Carrie! Her clothes were hideous! fashionista! they didn't even match, it looked like she pulled various things out of the closet without turning the lights on.

Sometimes I couldn't even pretend anymore. One time they had Miranda eagerly running off to buy pot (they were at a club)C'mon, now! she was supposed to be a lawyer! She should've been worried about getting disbarred! (sigh, I know it wasn't real :)
I also read somewhere that the baby Aiden was holding (Tate?) was really SJP's infant son.

chai1853 · 08/05/2014 21:38

I loved the parts where she's in Paris and falls in Dior! too funny!

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 08/05/2014 23:12

I love this thread! It's really making me want to break out my SATC box set from series 2 onwards though as the first series was a bit pants

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to join in with the Carrie hate. Whiney, pathetic, needy, self obsessed arse. She had a real knack of turning EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION back round to her latest crisis and it drives me mental watching it!

That said, I don't for a minute believe she is actually supposed to be a likeable character. I think she's meant to come across quite twatty, and SJP plays it so so well. It would have been easy to find an actress who would try to make her likeable, whereas SJP just made her real.

The other girls were fantastic characters, I much preferred them to Carrie but they weren't without flaws. Miranda always had an enormous chip on her shoulder about being single, and then about having a kid/being married. Samantha quite often had affairs with married men and Charlotte put an agenda for finding the perfect husband before anything and everything (I loved the irony in her falling in love with the very much imperfect Harry). For each character there were many moments where I screamed at the TV, but a show where all the characters are likeable is such a yawnfest! I respect that the show was so unapologetic in its realism of the 4 women.

I completely disagree that this was 'fluff'. So many touching scenes - not least Mirandas mothers funeral. I especially watched this when my dad passed away and it really struck a chord. Also I wouldn't call breast cancer, extramarital affairs, impotence and divorce 'fluff'.

Also it was nice to see a show that had each and every woman be a success in their own right (career wise, I know Charlotte came from money) without the assistance of men. Even these days that's a rarity.

As much as I can't stand Carrie (the episode in the OP was shocking and no man in their right mind would put up with that) she did have her moments where I felt I could really champion her - anyone putting up with that twatbadger Berger deserves a medal. Also agree about the shoe-shaming episode. It infuriated me when her friend said "oh I forgot about that like last week" about an alleged friend stealing from another friend at her house. There are people who believe childless un married women are less valid than them and I thought this was a brilliant episode to get that point across.

Also I may be in the minority here but I can understand her frustration with Big in the early series. I've been there with the bloke who just did not, and would not, give a shiny shite about me and it's very painful. Given, I didn't throw a Maccy Ds at the wall, but still I think her feelings were really valid, especially when he announced his engagement. She lost it again for me though when she was a real nob to Natasha, who never did a thing wrong to Carrie. And as for interrupting her lunch to demand she hear her apology - I was really hoping Natasha would have nutted her.

chai1853 · 09/05/2014 01:22

One of the things that Carrie did to Miranda, would've made me drop her like a hot potato. If I was laying on my bathroom floor NAKED and unable to move, and I called Carrie for help and she sends HER BOYFRIEND instead, that would've been it! I could not believe, she was so unconcerned! I would've been angry that she put her in the position of being helpless and naked in front of Aiden when It was Carrie she called!
I was so happy she called her on it when Carrie came over the next day and Miranda gave her the "bullsh!T bagels" rant.

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 09/05/2014 14:45

YY chai! It's like a classic MN AIBU that one Grin

I hated it when she was on the phone to Big when she was with Aiden (after knowingly cheating on Aiden) and she kept doing the sad face and holding up her finger as if to say "one more minute". If I had taken a boyfriend back after cheating and he started talking to the OW on the phone the sorry sod would be out in his arse

sunshinemmum · 09/05/2014 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jollyjester · 12/05/2014 18:44

I feel all the characters had relatable and non relatable qualities.

The group dynamics where not what you would thought would have worked but it was realistic in that they fell out and made up as friends so often do.

Carrie to me was the most irritating though. Who would have the cheek to invite their ex to their current boyfriend's cabin?! And expecting Charlotte to give her money cause she spent 40000 on shoes?

I liked Miranda though and thought her and Steve were perfect together. He really loved her and the scene where she washes his mum in the bath was so touching.

I wanna watch them all again!!

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