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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be put off by this?

544 replies

DomesticDisgrace · 15/03/2014 23:39

Please tell me I'm being unreasonable! I met this really really lovely guy today and I was hoping he'd ask me out because we hit it off instantly! When I came home he did and I was absolutely delighted, we decided on the cinema and he texted saying "I'll book the tickets, can you look after the grub?"
I can't help but be really put off by him now, I'm disgusted with myself Blush
I haven't been on a date in about six years as I was with my ex and he wasn't working for the majority of our relationship so I'm super scared of ending up with a stinge (this guy is working by the way)

Am I being horrible? It's really put me off him!

OP posts:
LizCurly · 16/03/2014 10:15

Domestic, i listen to my gut now!
Way too early for the gloss to go!

expatinscotland · 16/03/2014 10:17

And yet you kept going out with the guy, Domestic. You are not listening to your gut instinct.

Bet he suggests a restaurant ans not popcorn and pick n mix.

fascicle · 16/03/2014 10:18

Don't pre-judge the man on the basis of an ambiguous text, when all your other thoughts about him have been positive. Who knows - maybe he's been on dates where he's been expected to pay for everything, or where sorting out payment at the time has been awkward.

Impatientismymiddlename · 16/03/2014 10:18

Women want equal rights in everything except paying for dates it would seem.

wowfudge · 16/03/2014 10:19

OhMerGerd - how dare you write such a sensible post! Grin Are you sure you are not incensed that the OP may have to pay her own way, even though we've no idea?

LizCurly · 16/03/2014 10:19

Just pointing out that i doubt (?) U've dated too many divirced men. There's something to b grateful for! Every date ive been on in last 7 years has been with a divorced man, and it's worth SUSPENDING JUDGEMENT TEMPORARILY because sometimes they start out with a determunation not to be screwed "again" , and then relax a bit.

So, altho the gloss is gone now for the op, it might be worth suspending judgement for a few weeks. No fairy tales the second and third time round!

Somersetlady · 16/03/2014 10:21

domestic i would take from this message i will book the tickets if you book us somewhere to eat.

No mention of payment at all that is simply what you have taken from it and got hung up on. It seems you are far more focused on the bill splitting side of things than the prospect of a lovely evening with a lovely guy and thats a sad outlook to have.

He probably doesn't want to sit in a dark room with no chat for a first date but the film will give you something to talk about if you go for a bite to eat afterwards!?

LizCurly · 16/03/2014 10:21

Impatient, i had to pay more for babysitter than the costof the nighrs out. I also earn less.
Pay me what the man at the next desk earns.

expatinscotland · 16/03/2014 10:21

Why waste your time if the gloss is gone?

'You asked me out, but you're already deciding who pays what and you picked the cheaper option. Of course, I'm a sucker because I have already been getting my purse out buying you shit. Well, I've decided you're a skinflint and today's the day I'm done with tight arses. Best of luck finding someone to buy you dinner. see you as I pass by the bus stop.'

wowfudge · 16/03/2014 10:21

Right - I'm going to have to start doing shots soon. The text doesn't imply that the OP has to pay for anything. Or was there an extra line written in invisible ink that I didn't see?

expatinscotland · 16/03/2014 10:23

The thrill is gone, wow, that's all that matters.

Original poster
DomesticDisgrace · 16/03/2014 10:23

But honestly in every other way he ticks all the boxes for me. He's tall and handsome, very interesting, quick witted, showed a healthy interest in the fact I have a daughter despite us both being in our twenties.
I'm dreadfully cynical but I came away from meeting him like a giddy school kid, so much so I actually rang my friend to say what a lovely bloke I'd met and she thought I was off the rocker because I just met him by chance through a mutual friend.

We'll see how it goes, my tight arse antenna has definitely been risen though but I'm not sure enough to let it put me completely off :/ yet.

OP posts:
LizCurly · 16/03/2014 10:23

I dont disagree with that suggested text entirely expat but woulf wait for a bit more evidence first ! Just so i would wonder if id been too hasty.

wowfudge · 16/03/2014 10:24

Says who? FFS - you're all making it up.

LizCurly · 16/03/2014 10:25

Do you have to pay for a babysitter domestic?
Make sure a cheap night out to the cinema doesnt end up costing you a fortune.

expatinscotland · 16/03/2014 10:25

When you're excited about meeting someone who is in work, you gotta re-adjust your standards.

I mean, you've just been in a relationship with a total reject for 6 years.

expatinscotland · 16/03/2014 10:26

So what did he suggest for 'grub'? Is it a nice restaurant?

He asked you out, why isn't he sorting out the 'grub'?

Original poster
DomesticDisgrace · 16/03/2014 10:28

No Liz my dad is going to come and look after DD for a couple of hours. The guy doesn't know that though so I could be for all he knows.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 16/03/2014 10:28

Um, wow, the OP has said several times his phrasing has 'taken the gloss' off the invite. That is not making anything up.

BigPawsBrown · 16/03/2014 10:29

When is the date?

wowfudge · 16/03/2014 10:30

Okay - just can you all stop over-thinking and over-analysing? Please OP just enjoy the date.

LizCurly · 16/03/2014 10:30

Your description of him makes him sound attractive butis he decent enough for you? Look out for that. Be on hyperalert. My x was tall handsome educated well turned out confident etc etc and tbh, it distracted me away from his lack of common decency! I sus consciously made allowances for or figuritively looked away. Now..... single, in my forties, shit like tall is not what im after. I mean tiz all well, but good humoured flexible accommodating compromising suppirtive, interestED as well as interestING.....

Sunbow · 16/03/2014 10:30

People may think it is anti-feminist and old-fashioned but I can't help it. Generosity, willingness to share resources, I find it sexy on a primal level, like muscles.

copafeel · 16/03/2014 10:31

If was him I would run a mile.

^^this

talk about over analysing. Stick a label on his behaviour and raise a red flag and enjoy your microwave meal for one watching corrie safe in the knowledge that you don't need to meet such a disgusting creature ever again

Smilesandpiles · 16/03/2014 10:31

The date isn't until Tuesday night!

At the moment, wether you mean to or not OP, you are coming across as more trouble than you are worth, fussy and high maintainence.

You have already decided that you are not bothered about going because "the gloss" has been taken off the invitation and have mentioned this twice now.

Do him a favour and don't go. You've read far too much into this.