To be put off by this?

[DomesticDisgrace]

Please tell me I'm being unreasonable! I met this really really lovely guy today and I was hoping he'd ask me out because we hit it off instantly! When I came home he did and I was absolutely delighted, we decided on the cinema and he texted saying "I'll book the tickets, can you look after the grub?"
I can't help but be really put off by him now, I'm disgusted with myself
I haven't been on a date in about six years as I was with my ex and he wasn't working for the majority of our relationship so I'm super scared of ending up with a stinge (this guy is working by the way)

Am I being horrible? It's really put me off him!

You are over analysing this OP. Go on the date, if he turns out to be a tight wad then dump him. No need for the angst!

And I'd also like to say that the sort of man I've met who likes to treat women is not in my experience the sort of man who "expects something in return for it either". Some men just enjoy female company!

Exactly, Less! To think about who,pays for what in advance of a cinema date sounds weird.

In what way are those men sexist, CorusKate?

Discussing who pays for what prior to the first date is a bit odd and my Tightwad Radar would be alerted but I'd give him a chance.

He invited her. The text should have just said "I'll book the tickets."

Yeah, my skinflint radar is going off here. Bring some Gregg's and snacks in.

OhMerGerd, I just read back and saw your last post and wholeheartedly agree.

Expat he wasn't worrying about tge popcorn, he just said he would book (presumably pay for the tickets), and op get in the snacks. What's students about that! Sounds fair enough!

God I fear for my boys dating in the future if a casual remark from what seems to be a very nice man warrants 7 pages of analysis on a chat forum. Jeeeez

Agree with Expat and LessMiss that it is normal behaviour for men to pay. If I got a message like that in advance of a first date I would think it was very strange and I understand why OP finds it unappealing, especially given her history.

My oh refers to food as 'grub' all the time he is a forester and so is his brother and dad, they all call it grub ( I don't) hope you have a lovely time and only be worried if he is sneakily trying to cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn :)

I was going to say that earlier, Babyturnip - count yourself lucky he's not the one bringing the popcorn!

I have heard that there are some sponging women who never pay for anything. Perhaps in the past he met one. I bet it would put one off to suggest that she might have to pay for a Westlers.

Perhaps he is being clever and checking she actually wants to go out with him and not his wallet.

But then he should have waited to see whether she offered. It's no test if you're telling someone to pay!

Stash a couple of bags of Tayto and some Malteasers in your bag and tell him you've sorted it.

I'm going to laugh my else off if his idea of 'snacks' is nachos, hot dog, sweets, popcorn and a drink and you come off 30€ lighter.

Flogging is too good for cinema crisp munchers. They should be put in the stocks for a day.

Sometimes there are threads on here regarding the non equitable split of e.g. a restaurant bill between a group of people. The advice is often that how individuals pay (equal split, pay for your own etc) should be agreed at the outset. The poor fella here has informally suggested something that sounds very reasonable. In the longer term, you can't ignore financial stuff if you have a relationship with someone.

It's a first date, fascicle, that he invited her to!

Discussing money isn't the best way to make it to a lady's bed chamber.

Yeah, and an open wallet in case he starts ordering the equivalent of dinner for a battalion as you are 'sorting the grub'.