to wonder why it seems people get increasingly negative about breastfeeding the older baby gets....

[DiplodocusDinosaur]

My ds2 is 9 mths, admittedly he is a very big baby and often mistaken for 1yr to 18mths. I bf on demand and have always happily, discreetly fed in public. Whereas when he was little I.e. under 6 mths I only ever got really positive comments and vibes for bf in public, now he is getting older I'm increasingly noticing negative looks and had the odd comment more than once. Today I took my ds1 and ds2 to a childrens farm, ds2 wanted a feed so I went to feed him and heard two mothers giggling and saying 'bitty, bitty'. And a week or so back another lady stopped in the country park I was in and told me ds2 was far to old for breast milk and it was fine for little babies to be bf in public but my baby was old enough to learn to wait.
Have i just had a couple of bad run ins or have others noticed bf reactions change as babies get older?

purple where do you get this 'need to flaunt their breastfeeding' thing from? . The vast, vast, vast majority of women who feed in public do so very discreetly. They don't want attention, they want to get on and feed. I'm also very at your suggestion that toddlers can't bf without wriggling.

Some people seem to think that 'I have noticed you are breastfeeding' = 'You are flaunting the fact that you are breastfeeding'. That makes me . The lady in Rugeley was not flaunting anything, no flesh was showing and yet someone saw fit to demonise her. Let me put you on the spot - do you think that was a decent thing to do?

As for what society considers 'too old' - we've already established that much of society thinks 6 months is too old, and that this is bollocks. We should be changing what society considers, not pandering to its groundless prejudices.

That's not true though, is it? You don't get an immune response from a beaker. I don't feel the need to flaunt my breastfeeding but I do feel the need to loudly stand up for myself and others when we are attacked for doing the best for our children.

Sorry, that was to purple.

That's the key for me though, the response of other people.
I may not have chosen to EBF, and I may think it's a bit odd. But everyone should have the choice to EBF without comment or embarrassment, and with support and facilities provided, and I was delighted by the mass feeding protests that took place.
My feelings are personal to me and I really don't need to share them IRL and definitely not use them as a way of trying to make someone else feel uncomfortable.
EBF does no harm to anyone, and may do some good. But the choice should be a happy one.

I had no issue with the lady from Rugely breastfeeding at all ( I did after all!) but I did think she picked a really bizarre place to do it. Why on earth would you pick a dirty step! I wouldn't eat my lunch there, so why would I expect my baby to feed there? I thought the comments were bang out of order (obviously some loser on FB) but I did think, well I doubt she'd have got any kind of negative response if she'd have picked somewhere more suitable to feed. She looked as though she was just squatting on a nasty concrete step!

There was a lady complaining about a notice going up in the local swimming baths, saying please, breastfeeding to be done in the changing rooms. Again, I think this is perfectly acceptable. She was saying it was out of order, because if the baby needed feeding, she wanted to be able to do it there and then. Really? The baby can't wait for 10 mins? We wouldn't allow food to be eaten in a swimming pool, so why should breastfeeding be allowed? This is the type of flaunting that annoys me. The 'why can't I do it in public' attitude? I had no problem at all using the breastfeeding rooms (for eg) at M&S, but I do recall seeing a woman kicking off at staff because they'd informed her that a breastfeeding room was available (she had chosen to do it sat in the menswear dept) Her attitude being, the baby needs feeding, i can do it anywhere, I'm not 'hiding' in a breastfeeding room.

I don't think 6 months is too old. But I do think 2 yrs is.

Thing is though, you shouldn't need to use a 'breastfeeding room'. If you start thinking that way then you will never get away from women who feed on park benches being hassled. The whole idea that bf is something that should be hidden away needs to be challenged. If there was a decent seat in menswear, why shouldn't someone sit there and feed? Ditto for the comfy sofas in Waterstone's.

Feeding in the water in a pool is slightly different given how 'sicky' babies can be, but even then feeding poolside, i.e. on dry land but not hidden away in a changing room, should not be an issue. Mind you, I'd wrap myself and baby in a towel because when you're wet you get chilled easily.

Why do you think 2 years is too old when natural human weaning age is 7? I'd have carried on for as long as my DDs wanted if I'd known then what I know now. Having always worked f/t they were down to feeding morning and evening only during weekdays with maybe a midday feed at weekends now and then and the odd night feed when ill. The right time to stop is when the child wants to stop.

I have have call my toddlers and often in public, was feeding one today in a busy waiting room then during a meeting with a consultant. It is a calm and unobtrusive business neither noisy or visually arresting.

Am glad I am not trying to decide whether to carry on feeding a baby for longer whilst reading these flauntings of huge, big, wiggling toddlers noisly sucking at breasts despite there being no benefit past six months...

It's some horrid fiction where Brobdingnagian toddlers devour their shameless mothers who are unaware of the time and the place... It's just bollocks, it's a quiet and cuddly moment entirely free of drama, though if I wanted to make some I could offer my toddler a cup of bm when he wants a feed...we would see some drama then, he wants to feed not be fobbed off and there is no inappropriate time and place for my child to be fed and comforted as there is nothing inappropriate about breastfeeding.

Have have call. Have fed my toddlers!

Suffolk I love that song!

purple you might think it wasn't appropriate but the mum and baby were fine. Maybe there was no bench nearby to sit on? Who cares.

Its fine to bfeed,anywhere and that includes at a swimming pool a debate that was had on here and analyticalarmadillo and others posted great links as to why it was fine and it's actually recommended in many baby swim classes.

Why is two too old? How do you come up with these arbitrary ages? The WHO recommends feeding to two years and beyond. It's biologically normal for toddlers to bfeed until they begin to loose their milk teeth. It also correlates to their immune system being mature.

There is plenty of information available on bfeeding it's easy to find but people continue to spout crap opinions about it as though it were fact.

Fact is that a woman's right to bfeed wherever she and her child can legally be is protected by law.

Why should it need to be challenged? It's not about 'hiding away', it's about picking appropriate places.

I think it's ok to bf, for eg, in a cafe/restaurant and all visitors should just not look if it's not for them. That's where people go to eat/feed after all! But to do it in a menswear dept, in a clothing store, is just about the mother's need and her wants, not the wants/needs of the baby. I'm thinking of my brother, aged 45, who really would not feel comfortable buying a suit/shirt whilst a woman was breastfeeding right next to him!!!! And why should he?

I loved the breastfeeding room in our local Marks. I really enjoyed the quiet down time I got in there, just bonding with my baby. I didn't feel the need to go 'HEY LOOK AT ME I'M BREASTFEEDING ANYONE GOT AN ISSUE WITH THAT' whilst sitting in the middle of the clothing store. If it's really about the benefits to the baby, why would anyone have an issue using a beautifully provided room? I'll say it again, time and a place!

Swimming pool..well, babies can only manage 15 mins at a time, they get cold. So why would you have to feed them poolside?? Surely you can time it so that you can do your feed in the changing room discretely, or in your car afterwards? Your arguments are all, why shouldn't I be able to do it where the hell I like??? Well, because not everyone is comfortable watching women breastfeed. Is that not a person's right?

I come back to the cafe/restaurant argument. There, tough! People feed, including babies. So if you don't like it, don't look. But I do find it annoying that some (not all) breastfeeding women seem to want to make a huge statement about their right to breastfeed wherever the hell they want to, regardless of whether it may be appropriate or not.

I'm just being honest. I enjoyed my breastfeeding, but never felt the need to do it in a way that could have offended others.

If your brother is offended that is his problem. Unless he had a good gawp and was staring he wouldn't be able to tell a lot of the time if a baby was being fed.

I once fed ds2 in a department store in the bed department, he needed feeding and the feeding room was on another floor and you had to go to a different department to get the key! Why would I waste time faffing around doing that when there was a place to sit down? A lady came and said I should go and sit behind a curtain somewhere... I said no we are fine here.

You keep saying some places are inappropriate but not why?! I have fed on buses, trains, tubes, churches, parks and even on the London eye, most people didn't even notice.

What makes a place inappropriate to bfeed? As long as Mum and baby are comfortable it us fine.

Oh and many feeding rooms also have the nappy changing facilities and bins in them and can be smelly so no I won't feed there and if I have my other kids with me ad I often did its easier to just do it where I am.

I think brother would yes! I certainly would.

Bottle or breast, no baby needed to be fed in the menswear department whilst some poor blokes (who let's face it, most of whom hate shopping at the best of times!) are trying to find stuff to wear.

A cup of coffee or a bottle of water isn't expensive? Most places have somewhere you can go without necessarily spending money.

I realise at the minute I'm in the minority on this thread. I'm not saying for a minute that I personally have issues with older babies etc being bf.(as in, issues that I'm offending looking at it etc. I don't agree with it, but each to their own!) I'm saying that I understand why people do, and why breastfeeding mums should take other people into consideration. It's just polite imo to use facilities if they exist rather than trying to be so damn militant about things!

www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2013/08/breastfeeding-in-swimming-pools.html

Whist people are talking about feeding at the pool or in the pool, to dispel some myths.

Its not militant its getting on with life with a baby in tow, some baies need feedimg very frequently and you cant go off to 'faclities' each tiem, esp if you habe other children in tow or are just busy.

As i said you generaly cant even notic that a baby is feeding amd if you do and you dont like it then look away. Staring is rude.

You see, 5Mad, i totally disagree with your 'I will do what the hell I want to do and sod everyone else* attitude. And it's attitude like that that puts people's backs up about public breastfeeding imo.

Feeding your child on a bed is totally totally out of order. As would eating on said bed. Or lying on said bed. Or changing a nappy on said bed! It's a display bed not somewhere for you to sit and make a ' i'll feed where i see fit' protest on!

I never said I sat on the bed, I said I was in the bed department but the beds have protective covers so people can sit and even lay on them to try them out! I sat in a chair that was there for customers to sit on.

The law is on the side of the mother and baby, perhaps you should examine why you are so horrified by people feeding in public.

And why compare it to changing a nappy?it's nothing like changing a nappy, nor is it like having a wee or having sex etc as is so often trotted out in these arguments.

I often fed standing up, often with baby in a sling I did so wherever I ended to and generally no one even noticed. It's just not a big deal unless some jobsworth makes it so.

It's not so much I'm horrified by people feeding in public. It's more that time and time again I see somewhere far more suitable/private for said mother to go, yet they choose to make a big public display instead. Presumably to make a stand about those rights! Because the baby wouldn't mind where they were fed, would they? And the health benefits are the same, whether the mother picks a quiet corner somewhere or decides to pick a public chair in the middle of a bed dept!

ODFO purplebaubles