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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why it seems people get increasingly negative about breastfeeding the older baby gets....

455 replies

DiplodocusDinosaur · 14/03/2014 15:34

My ds2 is 9 mths, admittedly he is a very big baby and often mistaken for 1yr to 18mths. I bf on demand and have always happily, discreetly fed in public. Whereas when he was little I.e. under 6 mths I only ever got really positive comments and vibes for bf in public, now he is getting older I'm increasingly noticing negative looks and had the odd comment more than once. Today I took my ds1 and ds2 to a childrens farm, ds2 wanted a feed so I went to feed him and heard two mothers giggling and saying 'bitty, bitty'. And a week or so back another lady stopped in the country park I was in and told me ds2 was far to old for breast milk and it was fine for little babies to be bf in public but my baby was old enough to learn to wait.
Have i just had a couple of bad run ins or have others noticed bf reactions change as babies get older?

OP posts:
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6
5madthings · 16/03/2014 22:05

Yes the mums body responds to the babies saliva and makes antibodies etc, its very clever!

applepieplease · 16/03/2014 22:41

Right said

How awful you experienced that reaction. I support you 100% .

glorious · 17/03/2014 08:15

Yes I find the idea that they're too old when they can ask for it interesting. I'll admit I may have felt similarly while pregnant (though would never have said so) but now I know more about it I don't see the issue, plus even newborns ask for milk quite distinctively, and DD has been signing since 8mo.

I can't work out why it used to seem odd to me

Patilla · 17/03/2014 08:53

Someone asked earlier about would a baby feed from another person.

I can't answer that categorically but I can tell you that when DD was four months old and went into a panic in the hairdressers and had to have DH and DS come and rescue her because she didn't recognise me with hair dye on in hair scraped back, she most definitely would not feed from me.

but then DD has "opinions" other babies might be slightly more accommodating

purplebaubles · 17/03/2014 09:13

Each to their own then I guess Grin

With the arguments you're all coming out with though, why stop at all?! Why not breastfeed 8 yr olds?! Surely, as a first world mum, the line needs to stop somewhere? Breastmilk is best - when the child can't eat!

I can just see the other side of the argument (and that's as someone who did breastfeed until 4 months or so, and enjoyed it) and understand why people breastfeeding say 2 yr olds get looks like this Hmm Oh, and I didn't say I thought it was creepy, I said I could see why it could be seen as creepy!

AurorasDownTheRabbitHole · 17/03/2014 09:18

Boobie is best. I thought kids eventually came off breast milk when they were ready? I would ignore the comments and stick to what feels right. You know you are doing the best for you little ones and that is all that matters.
I once over heard an older woman giving a bf mother a hard time and I told her how rude she was being and pointed out it was none of her business. It's the most natural thing in the world and it really pisses me off when mothers are made to feel like crap about it.

pointythings · 17/03/2014 09:21

The whole 'they're too old when they can ask for it' thing just makes me Confused. I mean, we don't say that they're too old to eat apples just because they can ask for them, do we? Smacks of logic fail to me.

purple natural weaning age is 7, because that's when the adult teeth come in and these make bf very difficult. Biology makes sense.

Did you not read the post from the mum whose DD was hospitalised with severe norovirus and would have been on a drip had she not been bf - and she was 2 years old at the time. She couldn't eat... So that kind of suggests to me that keeping up bf - if we want to and can do it - is a good idea, because there might well come a time when our very young DCs are too ill to eat but can tolerate and benefit from bf.

I bf my DDs for 13 months each time - if I had known then what I know now I would have kept it up for far, far longer.

aufaniae · 17/03/2014 09:23

Purple are you aware of the role BFing plays in supporting the immune system? It's not a case of breast is best only when no other food is available. Can you tell me of any kind of food which responds to a child's individual illness, creates antibodies and in later "meals" gives them those antibodies? There is no such food. Also, the World Health Organisation's advice to feed to 2 years for the health of mother and baby is aimed at 1st world mothers, not just those in the developing world.

I hope you don't feel i'm criticising your choices. Everyone should be free to choose to feed their babies in the way they want to, I'm not saying what you should or shouldn't do. However your posts contain gross inaccuracies and misinformation which IMO shouldn't be left unchallenged in a public form such as this.

AurorasDownTheRabbitHole · 17/03/2014 09:27

The more I read about BF the more I wish I had tried harder with my DD.

IceBeing · 17/03/2014 09:53

I went to San Francisco for a week in the hopes that DD (2.5yo) might have forgotten about BF by the time I got back....no such luck! More like a two day long 'feed in'. Then a two day long sulk (no feeding - boobs exploding etc.), then back to normal....

But yeah I totally do it for me...its ALL about me....

takingsmallsteps · 17/03/2014 10:04

I recently commented to my social worker that I plan on letting my son self wean (he's 17 months). She told me that children don't self wean and if I continue as he gets older it's a fine line between breastfeeding and sexual abuse.

I'm a vulnerable woman recovering from PND and breastfeeding is the one right thing I feel I've done for my son. He's beautifully attached and well adjusted and there's nothing sexual in it at all.

If it weren't for the other supportive people around me, I'd have stopped based on her ignorance and the fear of losing my child. You'd think a so called expert on child development and welfare would know better.

JackShit · 17/03/2014 10:17

Meh. DD bf intil 3 1/2.

She's bloody gorgeous and it was the best thing for US. Totally natural and no one else's business :)

IceBeing · 17/03/2014 12:58

taking can you report the HV for that disgusting piece of shite one please? Its the only way we can make forward progress...

blahblahblah2014 · 17/03/2014 13:01

I find it weird and creepy to see babies over a few months old breastfeeding - I don't know why i just do.

It's just not necessary and quite gross tbh but each to their own.

5madthings · 17/03/2014 13:03

What a load of crap blah of course it's necessary and there is nothing gross or weird or creepy about it.

pointythings · 17/03/2014 13:10

blahblah I hope you are at least prepared to admit that you are the one who has a problem?

Babies over a few months old bf = creepy, not necessary and gross! Now I've really heard it all. Hmm

pointythings · 17/03/2014 13:11

Ice* this is a SW talking, not a HV. Unfortunately the SW is in a position of power here, it's much harder to pull her up on the absolute bollocks she is talking. Sad

IceBeing · 17/03/2014 13:15

shit sorry didn't notice that. God that is horrible though. How do we properly get the message out about this?

bigmouthstrikesagain · 17/03/2014 13:21

I got only grateful looks when I bf dd1 then aged 2 on a crowded plane - she stopped whingeing and fell asleep - everyone happy!
until later when she threw up then I spent a week in Gran Canaria with a child with Gastroenterisis but that had nowt to do with bf and when they are ill bf can be really helpful.

It is tough bf'ing a toddler in public. I only did it when truly necessary and tended to give drinks of water/juice/ milk or a snack when out and about and save bf for evening and morning feeds - which is doable with many toddlers. Breastfed till ds was 21months, dd1 27 months and dd2 was 34 months. It worked for us.

HuglessDouglas · 17/03/2014 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 17/03/2014 13:32

I got some nonsense about extended bf from Docs and other health 'professionals' - I learnt to filter out what I did not agree with but you should not have to do that. So much crap is spouted about this - it is amazing that people bf after 6 months at all.

I found it a massive arseache to bf (the discomfort, hideous breastfeeding bras, wriggly toddlers turning their heads to watch tv or whatever while still attached [wince]!) after the first year, but continued as I did not have a good reason to stop and I could see the benefits, it really was not for my benefit anyone who thinks it is are deluded.

MavisG · 17/03/2014 13:35

People have the right to feel uncomfortable if they choose to. I'll bf my kids when & where I choose to, just as I do other things that are not inherently antisocial but might trigger uncomfortable feelings in other people. Like, idk, looking like their old PE teacher or driving at the speed limit.

Megrim · 17/03/2014 13:43

Someone asked earlier about would a baby feed from another person

Erm, yes? Try Googling "wet nurse".

KristinaM · 17/03/2014 13:43

Yes indeed, it's all about the mother Hmm

I forced my children to breast feed until they were toddlers to reduce my own risk of breast cancer.

It's very easy to force a toddler to do something they don't want to As most of you will know . Now they are older I make them do all the housework and come top of their classes in school.

purplebaubles · 17/03/2014 13:55

I think most people would be a bit Hmm if they saw a 7 yr old child being breastfed in public.

I say, do what you want, and what feels right etc for your own children. But if you're breastfeeding a child, who society might consider far too old to be breastfeeding, it's likely you might get some funny looks! If that were me, personally, I'd breastfeed in the house in private, and simply take breastmilk out and about with me in a beaker. Same health benefits.

I don't get this need that we have in this country for people to flaunt their breastfeeding! I was able to breastfeed perfectly discretely without bringing attention to myself. However, I doubt I'd be able to do that with a huge wriggling toddler. Sometimes I feel it's as is some people want to create a bit of drama and attention. Time and a place and all that!