to wonder why it seems people get increasingly negative about breastfeeding the older baby gets....

[DiplodocusDinosaur]

My ds2 is 9 mths, admittedly he is a very big baby and often mistaken for 1yr to 18mths. I bf on demand and have always happily, discreetly fed in public. Whereas when he was little I.e. under 6 mths I only ever got really positive comments and vibes for bf in public, now he is getting older I'm increasingly noticing negative looks and had the odd comment more than once. Today I took my ds1 and ds2 to a childrens farm, ds2 wanted a feed so I went to feed him and heard two mothers giggling and saying 'bitty, bitty'. And a week or so back another lady stopped in the country park I was in and told me ds2 was far to old for breast milk and it was fine for little babies to be bf in public but my baby was old enough to learn to wait.
Have i just had a couple of bad run ins or have others noticed bf reactions change as babies get older?

Whre is the blog post photo? I have mised it, maybe blahblahblah2014 is confusing the two picutres?

Thank God for MN.

I didn't breast feed any of my three children because I didn't want to.

Mumsnet totally changed my opinion of breastfeeding and made me ashamed of my previously held view that it was in some way 'weird' to bf past three or four months old.

In fact I can't believe that was me that held that view .

I still wouldn't bf my kids if I had that time again, I still wouldn't want to.

But I think it's wonderful for mums to bf as long as they want and I'm so glad I'm now someone who would smile at a bf-ing mum of an older baby rather than one who'd roll their eyes.

I don't think I quite managed to read the whole thread, sorry about that. I'm 'still' feeding DS at 19 months. We don't often feed in public any more, normally he's too distracted to ask when we're out and about. But we do sometimes - usually when I'm baby wearing him home - I don't think most people would notice tbh. But he did ask for some milk when we were out having lunch the other day, so I let him nurse at the table. I don't think anyone noticed particularly.

In terms of practicalities, at home we usually sit in an armchair from a sofa set, or lie in bed. He nurses in so many different positions! From cradled across my tummy lap to more gymnastic efforts! When we were nursing in the cafe, I held him in cradle position at first then he sat on one of my legs facing towards me.

Either you've been very unlucky to be told off by strangers for feeding an 8 month old, or I've been very lucky. No one has said anything negative about me and littlewolfcub nursing. Sometimes they've said that they didn't think they could have done it past x months, or teeth or something, but its (so far) not been aggressive.

We have supportive MWs here and the HVs have been good too. They've just said what a good job we've done and maybe expressed a bit of amazement.

The law in Scotland makes it illegal to stop a baby/child up to 2 years from being fed milk (bf, ebm, ff, cm) in any place they have a right to be.

So if someone tried to stop us feeding I'd tell them littlewolf's rights to be fed milk. Beyond 2 years, if we continue (he shows no sign of stopping yet) I'll have to practice my best "Did you mean to be so rude? " and "You seem to think I value your opinion, I don't.", "What's it got to do with you?" (and when warranted by rudeness - "Oh do f* off" ) responses.

I think its one thing to privately feel a bit uncomfortable about breastfeeding or breastfeeding past a certain age. But it takes some chutzpah to confront a stranger in public to accost them with your ignorant opinion, and its difficult to see what they hope to achieve by it because "Oh, no you are right, I've spent the last 7 months breastfeeding past a year, but now I've been approached by a complete stranger with no specialist knowledge of the benefits of breastfeeding to term who has insulted me and tried to publicly shame me for feeding my child something natural and healthy, I'll stop right away" is a pretty unlikely response.

I hate cigarettes. As far as I am concerned they are most disgusting, unnecessary, damaging inventions. They poision the people who use them. They pollute the air around people who don't. As an asthmatic, passive smoking isn't some vague-ish future dose-dependant threat, its something which can make me ill immediately and could cause a life threatening attack. There are no positive aspects to smoking. It is claimed by some to be a choice, but all to often is taken up by children who then find it too difficult to quit. It is something which does tangible harm to the smoker and the people around them.

I still do not accost smokers on the street and tell them what I think of what they are doing. Why on earth would anyone think they have the right to accost a nursing mother? It really baffles me.

The coffee incident was assault. I think the police should have been called.

Oh, and I loved the breastfeeding photos. Some of my favourite moments with DS are nursing ones, so there were plenty in the photo book I created of his first year.

I have jist had an email saying they have not used those pictires in an email, there are some on the mnet fb though apparently.

I have three children and I breastfed them all, but no longer than 3-4 months. I simply did not have enough milk and there was no point in continuing on. My wish was to breastfeed 6-12 months, and was very sad that it did not work out as such.

I do not think anybody has right to judge other mothers if they choose to breastfeed longer, but there is a psychological question, I think, of why a mother would breastfeed a grown child that can feed him/her selves solid food. Many think this has nothing to do with a childs need to feed but mother's need to hang on to a child and not let go. Also, some believe that this could produce unhealthy attachment of a child to a mother and that those children have independence issues.

Just my 5 cents worth...

That's an interesting theory, live out loud. Could you post some links to the research that proves this please, so we can read it for ourselves?

Thanks

liveoutloud it has been said many times on this thread that natural weaning age is 7 years old. Once adult teeth come in, bf becomes difficult.

Many babies can feed themselves solid food long before a year old - this is called baby led weaning. Should they not have breast milk at that age?

'Many think' is not evidence, it is opinion. You are coming very close to saying women who breastfeed toddlers are doing it to satisfy their own needs, not their child's. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Many think this has nothing to do with a childs need to feed but mother's need to hang on to a child and not let go. Also, some believe that this could produce unhealthy attachment of a child to a mother and that those children have independence issues.

By "many think" you mean you think that. Why not just say that?

Milk is necessary for much longer than the first 6 months of life. It's just that many people choose to give cows breast milk and it's products instead of human breast milk.

My picture is on the mn fb 5mad? Is that what you're saying?

Nope I just checked its not your picture. But thye do have some bfeedimg pics.

Ah brilliant :) thanks :)

I am sorry I caused such reaction from you guys; how long you would breastfeed your kids is your business and nobody should judge you. I am just saying that a lot of women who decide to breastfeed do so for 6-12 months only. For those of us who work there really is no other option but to stop even if we wanted to continue. Like I said I intended to breastfeed for a year but was not producing enough milk anyway. As for breastfeeding beyond 12 months I simply do not see the point. Breastfeeding is for babies who cannot chew their food, once a child starts eating solids I do not see why you should continue breastfeeding. This is just my opinion but it seems a lot of other women as well.

For those of us who work there really is no other option but to stop even if we wanted to continue.
That just isn't so. I went back to work when dc1 was 10 months - full time - but he continued to bf when I got in from work and at bedtime, until he turned two when he lost interest himself. No problem, supply can adjust to demand.
And as for no bf required once can chew, did you stop giving your dc follow-on/cows milk as well at that point? Same difference.

I BF my Ds till he was 2...
I found as soon as he turned 1 ..I got questioned about when I was going to stop and I was happy to continue but the time I did want to stop it was impossible to get advice ...

live I BF all my DC until age 2 .
I also went back to work when they were 14 months - never used a bottle.
I didnt BF for my own amusement it was very handy for tired,cross ,teething toddlers .
If they still drink milk why not BM ?

Breastfeeding is for babies who cannot chew their food, once a child starts eating solids I do not see why you should continue breastfeeding.

So by that logic we should stop bf at 6 months-ish, when many babies start eating solids. Problem is, they should have milk as the main part of their diet until they are 1. And even after that, human milk will always, always, always be better than cow's milk - whether modified into formula or not.

Where's the logic behind giving a child an inferior product when the real thing is readily available?

I went back to work f/t at 6 months with each of my children - with 18 weeks paid mat leave that was all we could afford. I expressed at work and fed when I was with them until they were 13 months. I now wish I had fed for much longer - I was ignorant about the benefits. I could have carried on with a morning and evening feed quite easily. My children never had formula, it was not needed as I had plenty of milk.

Like I said it is up to you, your body and your child how long you will continue breastfeeding, but majority of women in the world do not go much further beyond 12 months. These are just the facts.
If you are breastfeeding your baby in public, people will most possibly not react. If you are feeding your 5 or 7 years old... they most certainly will. Why? Because big majority of women at this day and age do not (for whatever reason), breastfeed too far beyond 12 months, and they will find this unusual.

Liveoutloud

The majority of women in the world do not go much further beyond 12 months? These are facts are they?

Tell me what planet you live on? Because that is not fact on the planet I live on. Earth, btw.

Do go away and come back when you've educated yourself on the actual facts of breastfeeding worldwide.

What a muppet.

No that's just not true that the majority of the world don't bfeed past 6mths. Globally average weaning age is about three years I think.

In countries such ad Mongolia it is the norm for children to bfeed till 6-7yrs old.

It's actually more common than you would think fir toddlers to be bfed in the UK, but most people keep it private as they get older precisely because of attitudes like yours.

It IS recommended that babies bfeed until two years and then beyond if mum and baby want to.

Why do you see bfeeding past 12 mths as unusual? I assume you and your children drink cows milk?

LOL at the people who say " most of the world " when they mean " me and my pals " or " the slebs I read about in magazines "

I'm still waiting for the links to research to prove some of the claims made here eg

There's no benefit to BF aftre 6 months /12 months
There's no benefit to BF once the child can walk or talk
BF after x months is more for the mothers benefit than the child's
Toxins build up in BM so that it eventually becomes poisonous

It's hard to be sure of what the average age of weaning worldwide from the breast actually is. Four years old sounds high to me though of course there are societies where this would be seen as pretty normal. 12 months sounds very low - plenty of countries have stats which indicate a much older age than this.

Whatever, over 12 mths is not very unusual in the uk at all but given we don't actually collect these stats at an official level beyond 9 mths, that's just observation.