to wonder why it seems people get increasingly negative about breastfeeding the older baby gets....

[DiplodocusDinosaur]

My ds2 is 9 mths, admittedly he is a very big baby and often mistaken for 1yr to 18mths. I bf on demand and have always happily, discreetly fed in public. Whereas when he was little I.e. under 6 mths I only ever got really positive comments and vibes for bf in public, now he is getting older I'm increasingly noticing negative looks and had the odd comment more than once. Today I took my ds1 and ds2 to a childrens farm, ds2 wanted a feed so I went to feed him and heard two mothers giggling and saying 'bitty, bitty'. And a week or so back another lady stopped in the country park I was in and told me ds2 was far to old for breast milk and it was fine for little babies to be bf in public but my baby was old enough to learn to wait.
Have i just had a couple of bad run ins or have others noticed bf reactions change as babies get older?

Goblinchild, cross posts! You're on my list above :)

That and the fact that my baby is 19 now, aufaniae. So information and advice changes over the years.
I'm not negative about it, and I feel very strongly that women should be the ones that decide how they feed their children if they are not causing them harm.
Have there ever been cases where a child has failed to thrive because the mother has not given them enough nutrition as they grew? BF without enough supplementary food?

Great posts auf, agree with everything you've said.

WitchofEndor I presume you were responding to my post. I was answering a poster above me who was wondering about tandem feeding a baby and an older child. The milk will be nutritional formulated for the baby's needs.

I bf DD (27 months). She can definitely talk and she looks to be in no hurry to wean.

There is never a TV show where a family is shown with a bf toddler or even a baby tbh, where they just get on with it and nothing exciting happens.

It is always bloody extreme breastfeeding, with the oldest children they can find. Apparently there recently one about a woman bfing an older child, who also let her husband latch on. At the same time. He felt left out apparently

So extended bf of any sort is a TV joke in general. :(

I also agree about personal comfort zones. MIL had never bf so was panicky from the start, my mother was OK till I got to the age she fed her children for. I had no idea how long I would bf my DC for, but ended up wondering what I'd do without magic boobs!

There is never a TV show where a family is shown with a bf toddler or even a baby tbh, where they just get on with it and nothing exciting happens.

It is always bloody extreme breastfeeding, with the oldest children they can find. Apparently there recently one about a woman bfing an older child, who also let her husband latch on. At the same time. He felt left out apparently

So extended bf of any sort is a TV joke in general. :(

I also agree about personal comfort zones. MIL had never bf so was panicky from the start, my mother was OK till I got to the age she fed her children for. I had no idea how long I would bf my DC for, but ended up wondering what I'd do without magic boobs!

My 2 year old breastfeeds regularly. I don't care what people think. If she wants some when we're out she has some. I've never had a negative comment or noticed anyone give me weird looks.

I don't see it as extended anything. It's natural term feeding she is doing. I'm not cutting it short.

So extended bf of any sort is a TV joke in general.

Hence telling the journo who PM'd me to get lost. DD2 doesn't like me posting here never mind being set up as a press freak show.

She just happened to like feeding and was good at it. It would be lovely to be able to explain that to the press, but it doesn't make a very exciting story.

FWIW, dd was hospitalised with the rota virus when she was two. The only fluid she could keep down was breastmilk, and two of the doctors told me that she'd have had to go on a drip if I hadn't still been breastfeeding. So I'm sceptical when people insist that there is no benefit to the child after 6 months.

I think that strangers passing comment on breastfeeding mothers is just one example of the way people feel entitled to give their views on all aspects of pregnancy and childrearing. It is very common for pregnant women to be asked "how far along" they are, and if they are hoping for a boy or a girl. Some people feel free to comment on the size of the woman's bump! After the birth, judgemental comments are made about babies sucking dummies as well as breastfeeding.

We all know, from Mumsnet threads, how often strangers and passers-by comment on toddlers' behaviour and give unwanted advice and opinions on discipline. It seems that mothers and babies are seen as legitimate targets on which the rest of the world can spout their unsolicited opinions! I think this is probably because the future of society depends on the successful upbringing of children so there is a sense that this should be "communal", with everyone putting in their pennyworth - a manifestation of "It takes a village".

My experience of it was that breastfeeding a child who eats solids, or a child over two, was appeasing some need in yourself rather than meeting the needs of your baby. That, for some reason, you had a problem and couldn't let go.

Anyone else experienced this?

Aufaniae, I am a gp and I agree about health professionals giving out anti breastfeeding advice. I'm still feeding my dc at 4 and fed my 1st until 3 and I have experienced the anti bf stuff first hand.

sleep before I got to age one with my first DC my Mum did talk like that about a relative who feed their DS till 14 months or so.

They kind of got used to it I think and have seen my youngest feeding at one and a half probably.

I can sense they are a bit uncomfortable with hearing him ask for it at nearly 2, but it does kind of show it's for him not me! It's normally when I've been at work and he's missed me or if he's tired or poorly.

I fed mine up to a year as that was the current advice given by the NHS - I have to admit I was really glad to stop. I would have hated to have to carry on. I would never have done EBF and the thought of bf a two or three year old sounds pretty grim to me. I was desperate to stop feeding them by the time they were a year old and even then I only fed them first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I loved feeding them when they were younger but my kids were big babies and I didn't want to feed them any longer than the current recommended time. After a couple of days they didn't seem to miss it at all.

However I wouldn't dream of saying anything to anyone that chooses to do EBF. It's not my business and I don't really care what other people do.

If I heard someone being rude to someone who was bf I would happily join in with telling them to bugger off

Could the posters insisting that it's okay to feed a younger baby, but a toddler can Wait Until Mummy Gets Home Because He's a Big Boy Now and Doesn't Really Need It please come and explain to DS? He doesn't seem to have got the memo.

FWIW, I am still feeding DS in public at 18 months, and have never had a funny look, much less a negative comment. I do see a lot of women bf'ing in my area though, so maybe I live in some sort of breastfeeding haven and perhaps that helps even though most of them are feeding younger babies?

It's laughable that some people think when a mother breastfeeds their toddler she's 'doing for herself' 'to fill her needs'.

1. The mother doesn't breastfeed, it's the child who does.
2. Have you ever tried to get a child to eat something they don't want to? I value my nipples, my child has quite a few teeth, it's impossible to force her to BF 'for me'.
3. I don't need a 3rd point.

My experience of it was that breastfeeding a child who eats solids, or a child over two, was appeasing some need in yourself rather than meeting the needs of your baby. That, for some reason, you had a problem and couldn't let go.

Anyone else experienced this?

No, I had the opposite experience, actually. I loved breastfeeding dd when she was tiny, but I'd well and truly had enough by the time she was two, and I wanted her to stop - I felt like my body wasn't my own. However, I could see that dd really wasn't ready to stop, and I didn't want to take away her greatest source of comfort until I was confident that she could cope with it. I eventually persuaded her to stop (with the help of some bribery and a much coveted peppa pig water bottle) some time before her third birthday. But without a doubt, she was the one hanging on, not me.

PickledSprout yes sorry, didn't realise that you were talking about tandem feeding, hit a nerve as DM said something similar and was implying that breastmilk had no nutritional value after six months!

I should have phrased it better!

Yes I agree there is definitely a tendency for an increase in negative attitudes towards breastfeeding as a baby gets further over 6 months. I think it us simply because it's less usual as the majority of women have switched to the bottle by then. I think it's just ignorance and and old fashioned attitudes. Unfortunately it's only weirdos or nasty people that would be negative in public to you. The majority of people may be slightly embarrassed in case they see boob which they wouldn't! But that's to do with social up tight attitudes to nudity in general. Breastfeeding feeding is defo something thing most people associate with younger babies rightly or wrongly as it is for the 1st year their need is greatest fir the milk. I have breastfed all my children for a year and I wanted to stop by then personally but definitely felt a social peer pressure to have stopped earlier.personally I 5 honk it's a natural wonderful thing to breastfeeding feed and if more women fed in public and didn't care what other people thought that is exactly how social attitudes will change for the better

Reading this thread has brought on a bit of a light bulb moment for me that I don't need to stop bf DD when she turns one in a few weeks.

I've always said that DS self weaned around thirteen months but I don't think this was helped by HV advice to reduce feeds around nine months so he ate more solids.

DD loves her milk and drinks water at meals brilliantly from a beaker but if I stopped bfing she would struggle to take a good amount of milk at bedtime.

I've had a few comments from people expecting me to stop shortly and I'd kind of gone along with it as an idea though not put anything into action.

But just reading this thread has made me wonder why I should stop? I'd only be creating a battles to try to get cows milk into her with a beaker at bedtime, rather than milk designed for her.

It's a lovely quiet time too in our hectic lives.

No. I've decided. We won't be stopping, not yet and not while she needs it.

There is such a location difference to successful breast feeding , I am in a high take up area and so all the mums and tots groups are full of boobies popping in and out of nursing bras .
I had dd1 in a different county - there was no midwife / health visitor support . At day 3 I bought a bottle and no one batted an eyelid. I was a new mum and didn't know then how beneficial it was to us both . Dd2 and Ds were luckily born in an area with a great support .
That makes all the difference .
I totally think the health benefits are under explored in extending the feeding . No one makes any money from it so there's no serious indepth research I guess .
It has literally saved my lovely baby , she is on a ridiculously restricted diet due to allergies .
I also use my milk to clean wounds , deal with sore nappy rash and treat infections . My 11 year old was in fits of laughter when I treated the whole families conjunctivitis with lovely breast milk !

Has it not got something to do with the fact that after 6 months there's no benefit to the baby? In other words, if you're seen bf'ing a small baby, people think, she's doing the best for her baby. After that, they think, why are you doing that? What's your reasoning behind it?

DD was initially bf, then ff. However, at 15 months, she only has one bottle now, at bedtime, and I'll be honest, I do get a bit when I see babies/toddlers older than her sitting in prams drinking out of bottles! I think, why are they not on a beaker yet. I think it's the same thing?

Maybe people are creeped out by the fact the child can talk and is asking for the breast?!

What are people's reasons for doing it beyond 6months? For the benefit of the child, or because it's comforting to them as the mother? Not being critical, just honestly wondering?

That sort of ignorance is the problem , and I don't mean to be rude . I genuinely mean the ignorance about the benefits.
Far too many for me to type ! Basically though if it wasn't needed why did you keep on with the formula ? Same difference sort of ?!