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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My colleague called me rude. Aibu?

139 replies

candyapplecore · 14/03/2014 12:54

My colleague made brownies, offered them to the woman next to me then put the plate down on her own desk and left.

I took one, she came back to her desk a couple of minutes later and my colleague who was offered one said in a jokey way that I'd already had one.

She just replied - well that's rude, you could have at least asked.

Was I rude?

OP posts:
YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 14/03/2014 16:10

I make cookies, cakes, mini tarts etc. I never offer them to anyone. I love it when I next go back and they're all gone. It means they really like me them. :o

BrianTheMole · 14/03/2014 16:13

I think she was rude.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 14/03/2014 16:14

We have designated communal food spots e.g. a particular desk. People put stuff on there and we all help ourselves - no angst or misunderstandings

I think she was petty and you were a bit overenthusiastic

ParkFun · 14/03/2014 16:19

"I took one, she came back to her desk a couple of minutes later and my colleague who was offered one said in a jokey way that I'd already had one."

This bit in your OP makes it sound as though she offered you one when she returned, but you maybe don't want to mention that.

I can't think what else would prompt "she's already had one" other than her offering them.

She was in the middle of offering them round, and you just took one before it was offered. Is that what happened?

MajorGrinch · 14/03/2014 16:20

When she came back then the team ate them

Maybe she was going to give them out when she came back & felt that you were rude to steal one before you'd been offered?

Do you take her sandwiches too if she leaves them on her desk? Sips of her tea?

slithytove · 14/03/2014 16:22

This is such a funny thread.

I couldn't believe you just took one off her desk! [shocked] Rude but way too funny to be annoyed at. The tattletale was rude as well. I don't think the brownie maker was rude, she has the right to offer her baking out when it suits her, like pp have said she maybe needed the loo.

Still cracking up at this.

HellonHeels · 14/03/2014 16:26

It's a free for all in my office when there is cake or biscuits brought in. But we leave them in a shared location (on top of fridge or on a shelf).

I don't think I'd help myself from a plate left on someone's desk, even if someone in the office had just been offered one.

You colleagues sound quite rude and petty, but I wouldn't have taken a biscuit from someone's desk.

slithytove · 14/03/2014 16:29

Emoticon fail Sad

Tapdancingkoala · 14/03/2014 16:30

Sounds like a barrel of laughs on all counts.

Life is short, you know!

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 14/03/2014 16:32

Rude to help yourself to something on someone else's desk.

steff13 · 14/03/2014 16:37

FWIW, in my office, we have certain areas where abandoned food is generally fair game - i.e. on top of particular low cupboards by the working areas or on the tables in the kitchen areas.

That's how it is in my office, too. If you want to share something, you put it on a table in the lunchroom, or on one of the credenzas at the end of the aisles. It is not acceptable to take food off someone's desk.

If she offered the brownies to the woman next to the OP, but not the OP, perhaps she didn't intend to share with the OP. That is very rude, but her prerogative, I suppose. I don't think OP should have just helped herself.

SallyMcgally · 14/03/2014 17:10

She was rude to offer one to someone else in front of you and not offer you one.
You were rude to help youself.
Woman who said that you'd taken one is a snide stirrer. She's the one who'd have annoyed me the most actually.

SapphireMoon · 14/03/2014 18:00

She was rude and a compete tosser for her comment afterwards.
Must be like being in the playground in your office op.
YANBU but she is an unreasonable, childish woman.

MajorGrinch · 14/03/2014 18:38

She was rude and a compete tosser for her comment afterwards.
Must be like being in the playground in your office op.
YANBU but she is an unreasonable, childish woman.

So at what level of theft is she allowed to get arsey then? Food, Phone, Purse? I can assure you, if someone took something of mine from my desk without asking I wouldn't be as polite as this woman was!

And if you didn't like it, we'd go & have a chat with the boss....

SapphireMoon · 14/03/2014 18:54

It was a plate of brownies that she was offering around.
Maybe op assumed she could take one as woman had been distracted and wondered off.

Whatever, not like theft of a purse and thus even if 'misunderstanding' over reaction from brownie plate person.

SapphireMoon · 14/03/2014 18:55

Distracted from offering them to everyone I mean..

slithytove · 14/03/2014 18:55

Hardly an overreaction. The brownie owner spoke the truth. It was rude, and OP could have asked.

Also, she should have.

SapphireMoon · 14/03/2014 18:59

2 brownies on plate and op should have thought 'no not free for all'.
20 brownies on plate and brownie woman distracted in middle of offering around- well tempting to assume fair game!

hunreeeal · 14/03/2014 19:05

She was rude in not offering you one.

You quite reasonably assumed she had been kind enough to put them there for everyone. It's not your fault she got on her high horse and isn't as considerate as you thought!

slithytove · 14/03/2014 19:07

Was she in the middle of offering them around though or just offering them to a colleague she liked Grin

It seems as though she was intending to offer to OP anyway hence the "she has already had one" but I don't see the harm in waiting. I would be too scared of being thought of as a pig if I went ahead and helped myself.

slithytove · 14/03/2014 19:08

If I had food on my desk I had been nice enough to bring in with the intention of sharing, I would (unless I had left said food in communal area) be the one wanting to share it and offer it to people. Not have my desk treated like a buffet.

Still think this thread is hilarious.

PansOnFire · 14/03/2014 19:09

Sounds like the brownie was deployed to create a situation where your colleague was able bring you down a bit, this is what passive aggressive people do when they've been irritated by something completely unrelated to the issue they're mentioning to you. Anything happen recently that might have rubbed her up the wrong way?

Hotmad · 14/03/2014 19:40

All very rude in your office, you for taking brownies, the brownie lady for not offering you one and the tittle tattle next to you who told brownie lady you took a brownie!
I think you should all be ashamed ;)

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 14/03/2014 20:11

All this over biscuits?!?

Bring in tub of celebrations. Offer tattle tale one. Leave on desk. See how long til nasty bird helps self.

I think she did on purpose to score a point. She needs takin' down!!!!

DameFanny · 14/03/2014 20:17

Hang on though, brownie woman left them next to OP, didn't take them back to her own desk. So I would've assumed that it was free for all too.

And cursed my gluten intolerance.