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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My colleague called me rude. Aibu?

139 replies

candyapplecore · 14/03/2014 12:54

My colleague made brownies, offered them to the woman next to me then put the plate down on her own desk and left.

I took one, she came back to her desk a couple of minutes later and my colleague who was offered one said in a jokey way that I'd already had one.

She just replied - well that's rude, you could have at least asked.

Was I rude?

OP posts:
SometimesLonely · 14/03/2014 14:13

Sounds as if there's not enough work to do. Redundancies soon?

olbasoil · 14/03/2014 14:15

Was it a nicely baked squishy brownie or a manky dry one?

themaltesefalcon · 14/03/2014 14:17

You are not entitled to someone else's stuff.

encyclogirl · 14/03/2014 14:18

Hmmm…Do you think she was on purpose excluding you? I used to work in a department of a huge company many years ago (the only female), and a woman from another department would come in every Friday and offer cakes around to all the guys in my department. She would make quite a show of excluding me. She hated me though for all sorts of made up in her head reasons.

One time one of the guys said “I’ll take two pieces seeing as you seem to have missed out Encyclo by accident.”

I loudly declined the cake just as she was equally loudly declaring “Actually don’t, there isn’t enough for HER”

She was a lighting bitch that one.

To answer your AIBU question...yes on the face of it you were rude to just help yourself.

Viviennemary · 14/03/2014 14:20

You were rude to help yourself to a cake before you were offered one.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 14/03/2014 14:22

Yes you were rude, so was the woman who made the brownies and the woman who grassed you up was a bitch.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/03/2014 14:24

You were rude by helping yourself, she was rude offering the other lady and not you.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/03/2014 14:25

Yes your all rude Smile including that lady who told on you.

Feminine · 14/03/2014 14:26

But surely you can't just offer some people?

that is rude in my book.

I think you were just over-excited to get a cake op

The woman who said something...umm, a witch!

IDugUpADiamond · 14/03/2014 14:28

Gawd the three of you honestly, how petty, you're all as bad as each other
Were the brownies any good a least?

ShatnersBassoon · 14/03/2014 14:30

Of course you were rude, but it sounds as if you all dislike each other anyway. I'd be annoyed if a colleague I didn't like helped themselves to my stuff.

Bananapickle · 14/03/2014 14:30

All just very petty and childish.

itsatrap · 14/03/2014 14:32

If someone left unattended brownies next to my desk, they wbu to expect me not to take one, I dont think I could resist! Would I be rude? Probably, would I care? Nahh id be to busy enjoying my Cake

Olivegirl · 14/03/2014 14:38

How petty
Would not want to work with those kind of childish people

If someone brings goodies into our place of work it's a general friendly help yourselves ...

Hassled · 14/03/2014 14:41

Where I work any sort of baked anything is fair game - people descend like vultures - so you wouldn't have been rude at all. I think I'd have done as you did - just assume they were collective brownies for collective eating.

Bowlersarm · 14/03/2014 14:42

She was unreasonable for not offering you one.
You were unreasonable for just taking one.
Other colleague was unreasonable for telling tales!

Sounds an extraordinary relationship.

Any more stories about the three of you OP? Grin

LimeLelloLizard · 14/03/2014 14:45

Bowlers Grin - just what I was thinking... bet there are many more snack related incidents in this office!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2014 14:46

She sounds like a rude arse IMO.

BreconBeBuggered · 14/03/2014 14:53

If people bring in plates of food, they have to be good-humoured and easygoing about it, otherwise their kind gesture mutates into something ugly. Especially if there are cakes involved. Were they nice brownies, OP? I don't think you've cleared that up yet.

anonacfr · 14/03/2014 14:57

From your update then you were rude. She was about to offer the brownies to the team- including you and you couldn't wait 5mns?

Seems a bit greedy to me.

LessMissAbs · 14/03/2014 15:08

Technically speaking, you were both rude.

Yama · 14/03/2014 15:13

Not offering you a Brownie was rude.

Taking a Brownie without being offered was rude.

Calling you rude to your face for such a tiny, insignificant thing where a misunderstanding might've taken place is rude.

In conclusion, she was ruder than you and I don't like the cut of her jib.

WhateverLover · 14/03/2014 15:22

A colleague of mine bought me a box of chocolates this week as an apology for a misunderstanding. I am allergic to nuts (he is fairly new so didn't know this) so I left them on my desk for people to help themselves to which people have been doing. However, at lunchtime today a couple of staff members went out and bought pizza and didn't offer anyone else them. Those two members of staff in particular have been at my chocolates all week and, therefore, I think it's rude that they didn't offer to anyone else.

You shouldn't have helped yourself but do think she had no right to call you rude when she was clearly sharing them anyway.

ShadowFall · 14/03/2014 15:37

Yes, you were rude.

It's also a bit rude of your colleague to offer a brownie to the woman next to you and not to you.

FWIW, in my office, we have certain areas where abandoned food is generally fair game - i.e. on top of particular low cupboards by the working areas or on the tables in the kitchen areas.

It would be considered rude for someone to help themselves to unguarded brownies left anywhere else in the office.

BettyBotter · 14/03/2014 15:53

Both rude. sounds like a horrible place to work