or stupid not to bother with contraception any more

[kentishgirl]

I'm crossing my fingers instead.

I'm 46 years old. Yes, I still get periods every month. I think I'm peri-menopausal, just. Yes, I know the official advice is that you need to use contraception until one year after last period. But realistically, what are the chances...? What do you do?

I found a quote online from Dr. Joshua U. Klein, medical director of Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York-Brooklyn.

"When you hear of people in the public arena who are pregnant in their 40s, the obvious suspicion is that they've availed themselves of fertility treatment, but aren't being transparent about it,"

What are my odds of getting pregnant at 46 naturally?

Not good, said Klein. "Natural pregnancies—when a woman is trying to get pregnant with her own egg—do occur in women in their mid 40s, but it would be nearly miraculous," he said. Even in women using the assistance of IVF (in vitro fertilization), there has never been a clearly documented case of a baby being born from an IVF pregnancy in a woman older than age 45 using her own eggs. Klein estimated that the chance of having a baby at age 46 without intervention is probably about 0.01 percent or less.

Oh & a woman I worked with. She & her dh did it 'one last time' before his snip (recovery etc) and a few weeks after his op they found out she was pg.

She was 41.

My nana was 50 when what she thought was her menopause turned out to be my mum.

I have a friend (a real one honestly not a friend or a friend one) who's mum had her at 50 - again mistaking it for menopause

I also have a good baby mate who had her daughter at 45 through the usual method no IVF

As far as I can work out, it is only recently that a larger number of women have been actively trying to get pregnant into their 40s, so there are no good statistics. Meditrina's graph stops at >45, like many others.

The old statistics often quoted are for a small number of women in a religious group that were supposed to have babies all the time, from ages (centuries!) ago. And there is no saying that they did not have ways of not getting pregnant, IYSWIM.

My parents generation used to get married and have babies when they came along, then used birth control to space them out, or stop when they had enough! Looking back through my family tree, this seems to have been the way since the beginning of the 20th Century (usually 2 or 3, apart from one Great Grandma, who stopped having babies (6) when her husband died) This meant that late conceptions were accidents. Also, a lot of compications during later pregnancy and childbirth, in the past, were due to the number of children the mother had already had, rather than maternal age, so the statistics for this are a little pessimistic too.

It does appear that now people are actively trying to get pregnant later on, that it is probably more possible to have a healthy child later on, that previously thought. Hopefully, some better statistics will come of this.

Until then, it looks like I will have to keep using something until my periods have definitely stopped (not that that is as obvious as you would think either!)

My Gran was born when her mother was 45. She was the youngest of six.

My SIL recently found herself unexpectedly pregnant at 46. She was in shock for months, her youngest is 9.

I've just worked out my gm's ages when having her kids, she was born in 1912 and my mom was born in 1952, so when she was 40... my mother has two younger sisters who are 3 and 6 years younger than her, as well as 3 older brothers.

So my grandmother was having babies well into her 40's without any intervention (and no likelihood of cover up pregnancies, he dh was working abroad for years at a time so she wouldn't have known about any indiscretions of his and my mother was too young)

Wow! All these stories of late pregnancies have really surprised me. My mum started going through the menopause early, aged 30, then caught with me at 31. I stopped menstruating at 29.

I mentioned thoughts of having a baby to a similarly aged friend the other day (I'm 31), who asked me how I'd feel about being an older mother. These stories of women in 40s doing it makes me think that's bollox, if I had a baby now, I wouldn't be an 'older' mother at all, or would I? hmm

My mother was around on Sunday and I was waiting for dp to get back from the shop with pads as I'd run out. My mother is 61 and said to me 'why didn't you tell me, I have tonnes at the house!'

Her periods only stopped in the last year or two. Terrifyingly long fertility runs in our family!

I got pregnant aged 42, the second te I slept with my new partner at the time AND I took the MAP.

This thread has been a true eye opener. I've never used contraception with DP as he has a congenital condition that overwhelmingly equals infertility, and he's never impregnated anyone. Then, as I stopped menstruating, I thought we really didn't have anything to worry about as I then assumed we are both infertile. Time to get both of these assumptions checked out!

Before being horrible admonished, we have discussed how we'd feel if we did miraculously conceive, and we'd both feel it were a happy miracle. But, it would be sensible to know whether this is a possibility at all, especially as if I had a symptom free pregnancy I would have no idea as absence of menstruation wouldn't be a clue as I've not had any for a few years, and never had that many anyway.

Hearing of women menstruating into their 60s! Well, my family's experience is obviously more odd than I'd ever thought.

My friend had her first at 42, second at 44 and third at 47, all naturally. I've got another friend who had her first at 45 and got pregnant again at 46 but miscarried, so it's perfectly possible.

I khow someone who fell pregnant at 46. They only messed up thier contraception on one occasion! It only takes one time.

The Guiness book of Records before IVF showed 48 as the oldest age for a woman giving birth.

My cousins wife fell pregnant at 44 and gave birth at 45. It was planned but I have no idea how long they were trying.

My aunt gave birth at 44 back in the early 90s.

I understand why you're keen to give up bc though. We are limited to condoms which neither of us like. We are 99% sure we don't want another child, but the niggling 1% is stopping us booking dh in for the snip!

Digerd - actually the Guiness Book of Records has the oldest mother to give birth conceiving naturally was 59www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/12000/oldest-mother-to-conceive-naturally-

digerd that's crap then as I already posted my family has a history of late 40s pregnancies. perfectly possible.

Noodle the average age for a first child is now 29.8 so 31 is far from being an older mother.

I had dc4 at 36 and thought I would be one of the older mums at antenatal.

real eye opener as was fairly average age for a dc1!!

I'm 45 and have really regular periods, no way would I risk no contraception.

59!! amazing.

At 43 I know am still ovulating every month, I know the signs very well. I also know I am as fertile now as I ever was. If I dtd without contraception on the day I ovulate it is most likely I become pregnant, I have had seven pregnancies, only two of which were successful.

After my last pregnancy (which turned out to be ectopic) I went to the GP to discuss contraception. She asked me if I was interested in sterilisation, I said no as I wasn't 100% sure it was all over for me. She informed me gravely that it was HIGHLY unlikely I would conceive naturally at my age. I was WTF?! I am HERE discussing contraception because I did exactly THAT two months ago!!!

56 and still mostly functioning...

Noodle the average age for a first child is now 29.8 so 31 is far from being an older mother.

Thank you jacks, that's really changed my perspective on things. I've checked again with DP and he did check that he's currently infertile when I first asked him a few years ago, but hasn't checked what he/we can do about it if we want to try, which will be my next request.