or stupid not to bother with contraception any more

[kentishgirl]

I'm crossing my fingers instead.

I'm 46 years old. Yes, I still get periods every month. I think I'm peri-menopausal, just. Yes, I know the official advice is that you need to use contraception until one year after last period. But realistically, what are the chances...? What do you do?

I found a quote online from Dr. Joshua U. Klein, medical director of Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York-Brooklyn.

"When you hear of people in the public arena who are pregnant in their 40s, the obvious suspicion is that they've availed themselves of fertility treatment, but aren't being transparent about it,"

What are my odds of getting pregnant at 46 naturally?

Not good, said Klein. "Natural pregnancies—when a woman is trying to get pregnant with her own egg—do occur in women in their mid 40s, but it would be nearly miraculous," he said. Even in women using the assistance of IVF (in vitro fertilization), there has never been a clearly documented case of a baby being born from an IVF pregnancy in a woman older than age 45 using her own eggs. Klein estimated that the chance of having a baby at age 46 without intervention is probably about 0.01 percent or less.

20 years between my DM and her sister. No siblings/mc just 'lucky' or really really extreme family planning...

A woman locally got pregnant naturally at 51

I know my mother only stopped having periods a couple of years ago and she's 61 so I certainly won't be taking chances in my 40s... We have a family history of late babies.

ok, you have me convinced. Bum. I don't like any contraceptive options (got spoilt as ex had the snip so 10 years of not even thinking about it) but all right, I can see it's not as unlikely as I hoped.

Kentish you are stupid/naive to think that an abortion would not be physically or emotionally painful.

Over 45, the chances are about 1:100 (I've seen a graph somewhere on line, I'll see of I can find it again).

Bit the thing to remember is that that refers to all women, many of whom will be having weird cycles post 45. Ifyo are still menstruating regularly, the pg at 46 is rather higher. And it's not considered safe to abandon other contraception until a full year with no periods (over 50 or two years (under 50). And e guideline is set like that because yes, it really can happen.

hiddenhome

I know I don't really want the answer to this question

But how did you not have sex 'properly' to get upduffed?

Why conceive only to require an abortion? Seems ridiculous to me when it just be so much easier/straightforward to use contraception. Come on, you're a grown up

Not everyone does find abortions emotionally painful, fair enough (though I agree with the pp who wondered how you'd know without going through it), but physically, best case you'll be pretty uncomfortable, not to mention inconvenienced, worst case, well, its a medical procedure, potentially a surgical procedure, they carry some very serious risks! Can't understand anyone saying they'd prefer an abortion to using contraceptive, so incredibly irresponsible, to your own health and to the NHS. If the OP was a poorly informed 15yr old I might understand

All these stats that are flying around are muddling up the chances of having a baby in your late40s (low but not miraculously low) with the chances of getting pg in the first place (much higher). At that age you are more likely to have a miscarriage (or an abortion in the OPs case) than a baby, but you really would be better off avoiding either. And at perimenopausal age you'd be shelling out a fortune in pg tests and sleepless nights because your periods would be all over the shop.

And whilst it doesn't apply to the OP, who has now rethought, anyone else in her position should think about the increased risk of twins, and then think one more time.

Kentish you are stupid/naive to think that an abortion would not be physically or emotionally painful.

No I'm not. there are threads on this, with plenty of women not being effected by having one. Including me. I had one before and it was/is not painful to me. And before you all think I'm just feckless, you simply would NOT believe the situation under which I got pregnant that time.

But in any case, I've already said twice that you've all convinced me. Back to the faffing with contraception it is.

I haven't used contraception for nearly 10 years now.
We were originially TTC but nothing happened. Various tests and even a couple of ops, and no sign of anything.

We are no longer TTC and haven't been for years. But we still take a minimal risk I guess. But I am not going to start now - DH will have to have a trip to the hospital if we decide we need to make prevention more sure.

What about STI's surely pregnancy is not the biggest threat to us more mature ladies and not the only reason to protect ourselves. Just look at the Val/Eric storyline in Emmerdale.

My grandmother had her last child at 45.

My sil is 9 weeks pregnant at 47, has her first child at 44...no assistance, so yes it does happen.

Me, me!

Preg at 45. DD4 born one month after my 46th b.day. 'Eau naturel' conception. 100%

i'm not bothering with birth control now though. Breast feeding plus my age is enough to be safe ... surely?

i was going to start a thread asking opinions on this actually.

I didn't get on with most contraception. We felt the chances were slim. After many years of marriage and 2 DC' s both of whom took 4 years of trying each time, we hardly felt fertile.
After one romantic night and too much champers I was a bit hap hazard with contraception.
DC 3 was born a few months ago. I am 43. Easiest pregnancy so far, very healthy throughout. If you wouldn't go ahead with a pregnancy you have to try to take steps to avoid one. Women are having babies later and later due to improving health and longevity.
HTH

I had DS at 41, I got pregnant the first month of trying. The year he was born our college record had 3 women from my year in 'alumni births' section so it's not that unusual, one was a friend who had just got married so had obviously got pregnant pretty quick as well. And I have an old school friend who has just had a baby oops in her 40s (her other two are teenagers). And I work with a man who was born when his mother was 47, she thought he was the menopause. So the doctors are wrong.

OP have you considered using Persona as a contraception?
We used this before between and after children very successfully . It will give you an idea of your cycle and can detect if you are ovulating .
The other option is to be sterilised I guess...

USE SOMETHING!

Pregnant here first go both times, 37 and 40.

Friend last year had her fourth, complete accident - shes 43.

Another friend also has 4, no problems conceiving, three of them were in her 40s.

I would never risk it unprotected even into my 50s with our track record.
For the record, I am fully are how lucky we were to conceive so easily- I feel very much for those who struggle to get or stay pregnant and I am thankful every day that we didn't have to go through that.

I understand your dislike of contraception- i do too. If your new partner does not want children, then the snip?Or indeed sterilisation for you? Snip is easier of course.

I wouldn't risk it fluffy!

Oh and I would never risk it either. My DAunt married late and had three under 5 by the time she was 48 or 49 I think. They thought the first was a miracle, the second an abberration and....

I know directly a woman of 47 who has just fallen pregnant as her kids start senior school. It does happen.

Sorry, that should say just as the youngest of her kids started senior school.