or stupid not to bother with contraception any more

[kentishgirl]

I'm crossing my fingers instead.

I'm 46 years old. Yes, I still get periods every month. I think I'm peri-menopausal, just. Yes, I know the official advice is that you need to use contraception until one year after last period. But realistically, what are the chances...? What do you do?

I found a quote online from Dr. Joshua U. Klein, medical director of Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York-Brooklyn.

"When you hear of people in the public arena who are pregnant in their 40s, the obvious suspicion is that they've availed themselves of fertility treatment, but aren't being transparent about it,"

What are my odds of getting pregnant at 46 naturally?

Not good, said Klein. "Natural pregnancies—when a woman is trying to get pregnant with her own egg—do occur in women in their mid 40s, but it would be nearly miraculous," he said. Even in women using the assistance of IVF (in vitro fertilization), there has never been a clearly documented case of a baby being born from an IVF pregnancy in a woman older than age 45 using her own eggs. Klein estimated that the chance of having a baby at age 46 without intervention is probably about 0.01 percent or less.

My mum had me at 42.

But from what I'm reading fertility starts to exponentially drop off after 42/43 and is basically gone by 45. Except in very very very rare cases.

(so ohhelpohnoitsa - get a move on hon)

Ken - yes but the eggs are likely to be infertile now. They don't last forever. You don't make fresh eggs. You are born with all the eggs you will ever have. 46 year old eggs just don't cut it.

Ds has a friend at school ,his mum got pregnant aged 48 the baby is now 14 months old.

i'm surprised by the 0.00005% statistic - could that actually be the number of mothers who have a baby at 42 (e.g. because most people have finished their families by then) rather than the odds of someone actively TTC successfully getting pregnant? I know a few people in RL who have got pregnant naturally in their 40s. Must be something in the water around here!

Well clearly they do cut it. Even just the proof on here.

My friend had her youngest at 48. She was crossing her fingers too. Her other dcs were 19 and 15 and were rather shocked.

oh bollocks. I've got to keep using something then, haven't I. Why are so many top docs saying it's essentially impossible to get pregnant naturally after 45? Bastards got my hopes up.

I'm a HCP and we routinely screen woman for pregnancy if they are aged below 50. Have had to deliver BFP news a few times to women 45+ who had stopped using contraception as they believed they were "past all that".

I intend to use contraception until I am a daily user of a Zimmer frame and eligible for my free TV licence.

Not really, I'm sure, but I really really really ... ad infinitum ... really don't want to be pregnant.

Depending on how you feel, make your choice, but for me a 1 in a million chance is too high for me.

I've seen 2 women who came to the GP where I work as they thought they were menopausal and they were pregnant - one was 46 and one 48.

The older woman did miscarry but the younger woman had a healthy baby.

I think natural conception is going to depend on other factors such as your obstetric history (have you conceived easily before?), your current menstrual cycle (regular monthly periods would indicate a functioning ovulatory cycle) and frequency of sex.

If a pregnancy wouldn't be a disaster for you then feel free to discontinue contraception. But be aware that pregnancy is a very real possibility, even if not highly likely.

Of course you can still get pregnant come on, you're a grown woman, you know this, surely? I know several women who had their children in their 40s, including one who had her first at 46. Unless you're post menopausal then you're fertile. You might not care about having an abortion emotionally but they're not necessarily straightforward or easy, why would you risk putting yourself through a potentially risky medical procedure for no reason?

My Gran had my uncle at the age of 49. This was in the early 1950's and she had been told that she had finished the "change" before she got pg.

I still don't see why risk it...I get what you are saying about abortion (I am pretty much of the same view). I still think it would be easier to continue using contraception.

Unless you'd be happy to have an unplanned pregnancy, you should still use contraception.

Yes, statistically your chances of getting pregnant at 46 yrs are a lot lower than if you were 10 or even 5 yrs younger. BUT, it's not impossible to conceive naturally.

I think that doctor is a twat head. I know many women who conceived naturally in their middle/late 40s.

it's a family tradition in mine, my ggm had her last at 48, my gm at 46 and great aunties at 47 and 48.

didn't have IVF before and just after the war.

if you don't want a baby use contraception.

YANBU but you are being stupid in my opinion. You might be relaxed about having an abortion but you would cost the NHS money it wouldn't have needed to spend if you had just used contraception. Of course, you may have a private termination.

Don't risk this.

I did ( am almost 43 ) and last month the obvious happened

If your periods are regular and you're reasonably fit and well, you should assume that pregnancy is as possible as it was a decade or so ago.

of course the honourable doctor is a man so that might account for his twattishness! (cross with dh and dss)

Just to point out that I think at your age you would not be allowed to have a medical abortion, but would have to have a surgical one. I don't know if that changes your mind about that at all (it does for some people).

I do feel your pain though, I'm early 40s and just sick to death of worrying about it.

My great grandma had "change of life" twins at 48 just before the start of WWII, three years after she became a grandmother. Definitely no fertility treatment there, she thought she was having the menopause until the babies moved and didnt know it was twins until she gave birth!

Well, you're not stupid or unreasonable if, as you say, it wouldn't bother you to have an abortion. Not sure how you'd know that in advance though.

It definitely happens though. I was pregnant at 44, 45, 46, 47, all naturally. None of them worked out and I wasn't perimenopausal but I was told at 43 that I had very little chance, statistically, of it happening with my own eggs .

Now 48 and on the Pill as another pregnancy would end in miscarriage not a baby, I've had to accept.

IIRC women can have a surge of fertility towards the start of the menopause, hence the surprise babies in the women's 40s and 50s.

Yes. MIL conceived DH when she was in her mid 40s, not sure exactly what age, but her oldest child at the time was 28. She then had a miscarriage two years later.

I conceived at age 42 and I hadn't even had sex properly

I directly know three people who've got pregnant at or after 45. One was my grandmother and that was 50 years ago. The other two are friends and it was in the last 8 years.