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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or stupid not to bother with contraception any more

151 replies

kentishgirl · 11/03/2014 18:08

I'm crossing my fingers instead.

I'm 46 years old. Yes, I still get periods every month. I think I'm peri-menopausal, just. Yes, I know the official advice is that you need to use contraception until one year after last period. But realistically, what are the chances...? What do you do?

I found a quote online from Dr. Joshua U. Klein, medical director of Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York-Brooklyn.

"When you hear of people in the public arena who are pregnant in their 40s, the obvious suspicion is that they've availed themselves of fertility treatment, but aren't being transparent about it,"

What are my odds of getting pregnant at 46 naturally?

Not good, said Klein. "Natural pregnancies—when a woman is trying to get pregnant with her own egg—do occur in women in their mid 40s, but it would be nearly miraculous," he said. Even in women using the assistance of IVF (in vitro fertilization), there has never been a clearly documented case of a baby being born from an IVF pregnancy in a woman older than age 45 using her own eggs. Klein estimated that the chance of having a baby at age 46 without intervention is probably about 0.01 percent or less.

OP posts:
elastamum · 11/03/2014 20:04

If you really dont want to continue using contraception then at least have a blood test to see what your hormone profile is. I had one at 46 after a few years of feeling crap and it came back as post menopausal. The GP told me it was impossible for me to conceive so I gave up using contraception. The funny thing was I think the GP thought I was trying to conceive Confused

Odaat · 11/03/2014 20:05

My gran had her last at 44 - naturually ( no ivf etc)

Bogeyface · 11/03/2014 20:06

Thats a good point about pg tests etc, avoiding the whole "am I pg or is it my menopause" malarky would be enough for me to get a coil!

MoominMammasHandbag · 11/03/2014 20:08

To be fair, quite a few of these "great aunt was 48" type stories are likely to be people covering up a socially unacceptable teenage pregnancy. I know it happened a couple of times in my own family history.

lavenderhoney · 11/03/2014 20:09

Dr Klein sounds a right ray of sunshine doesn't he? Where's he getting his facts from and what research is he using? And does he by any chance make money from fertility treatments?

If you are still having periods you can still get pregnant. It is so individual re fertility as evidenced already by the postings on here.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 11/03/2014 20:11

My first boyfriend was the youngest of five, with about 15 years gap from his youngest sibling.

His mum thought she had gone menopausal. She was 45 then. It was actually him on his way.

Foresight is better than hindsight.

Odaat · 11/03/2014 20:11

Hmmm, interesting theory moomin ... I shall have to ask my family about that one!!

fluffyraggies · 11/03/2014 20:12

fabBaker - .... i guessed that would be the majority answer if i started a thread. tbh.

fluffyraggies · 11/03/2014 20:14

Grin @ ''Dr Klein sounds a right ray of sunshine doesn't he?''

I agree he's over egging this pudding somewhat.

Bogeyface · 11/03/2014 20:15

Well my G Grandma wasnt covering up, her only DD was married with her own DC by then, all the others were sons!

My G Grandad got quite a ribbing for some time at being able to father twins at 50 odd (think he was 52)!

catsmother · 11/03/2014 20:20

I have been pregnant 3 times in my 40s ... at 43, 44 and 47(and a half if that makes any difference!)

I lost all pregnancies between 9 and 12 weeks - and whilst statistically I always knew the likelihood of that was high given my age, I had no problem actually getting pregnant. The 1st 2 were planned ... I fell within 6 weeks first off, then again 6 weeks after I miscarried.

I'm 50 this year and still get periods bang on every 28 days ...... am really past the idea of another pregnancy now although I feel and (think) look much younger than I am, however, it would be disastrous financially ... then again, if I won the lottery I might be open to seeing what happens if I could ensure absolute financial security for my youngest. So ... each month I still feel a sense of relief (and a bit of sadness for what might have been) when I get my period.

Point is ..... of course you can get pregnant if you're still having periods.

TheWomanWithTheMysteriousLump · 11/03/2014 20:21

Member of my family in a previous generation had a "very late pg" Bogey. The baby wasn't her daughter's........it was the child of her husband's mistress.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 11/03/2014 20:21

I know someone who was in the delivery suite going "I'm forty blood five! I should not be here!"

On the bright side her some was able to pick her and the new baby up in the car the next day saving dad from having to pay for all day parking. Smile

Treaclepot · 11/03/2014 20:21

Fluffy - 3 of my friends got pregnant whilst breastfeeding. It is NOT a contraception!

RedundantExpat · 11/03/2014 20:22

I think Dr. Joshua U. Klein might have got his statistics mixed up. Is he someone who sells fertility treatment so might have a vested interested in selling someone a "fresh egg"?

LibraryMum8 · 11/03/2014 20:33

IMO it's not just if you agree with abortion. I'd never put my body through that unnecessarily, there are risks for any surgery!! If you don't want to get pregnant use something! If you are sick of it...make the guy wrap it (or don't have sex!)

whatever5 · 11/03/2014 20:36

I have had the same thoughts when reading quotes like those of Dr Klein (I'm 46) but the fact is that women of our age do occasionally get pregnant and this happened long before fertility treatment existed.

If you do get pregnant, the chances are you will miscarry which obviously will not be a nice experience.

yummystepford · 11/03/2014 21:09

Abortion is not a form of contraception. You may feel that way but you never know that you might not react in the same way as you expect or even the same as if you have had a previous abortion. Or you might experience distress years after. Just because you definitely don't want a baby doesn't mean abortion would be easier than using contraception.

Purplepoodle · 11/03/2014 21:19

Friend just had her tubes clipped (tied). She said it was no different from getting a coil fitted, very quick, easy and not invasive.

Moonfacesmother · 11/03/2014 21:23

The chance must be higher than that.
I know three women in the last year aged 44-45 who have fallen pregnant naturally.

And I don't know that many people!

Sharaluck · 11/03/2014 21:25

The oldest woman I personally know who was pregnant and had baby (sadly the baby has a lot of issues, so can't be called a 'healthy baby') was 46.

FreudiansSlipper · 11/03/2014 21:31

many of my great aunts and both great great grandmothers had babies in their 40's one was 47

my dads mum was 48 or 49

no fertility treatment but they all had large families and I do not think it was unusual for women to have children in their mid to late 40's before we had reliable contraception. maybe because they spent much of their adult life being pregnant they were more fertile in later years

summertimeandthelivingiseasy · 11/03/2014 21:32

I know someone who had their last and very much longed for baby at 47, having given up.

I am wondering whether to give up contraception at 50 Hmm

Definitely not ovulated for 6 months and not conviced I did the previous 6 months (charting).

I am put off more by the possibility of miscarriage, than a baby. Been there before and don't want to repeat the hormonal rollercoaster again.

cassgate · 11/03/2014 21:34

My sil fell pregnant at age 45. She had 1 child that had taken 5 yrs to conceive naturally 7 yrs prior to that so thought it impossible. DD1 is now 13 and DD2 is now 4 and sil is 50 this month. It does happen.

MrsWedgeAntilles · 11/03/2014 21:34

OP, your thread title reminded me of the old faded 1970s poster our school nurse had on the wall of the medical room with the couple with their fingers crossed behind their backs.
Please do not stake your future on the pronouncements of someone on the internet who may have a vested interest in making women feel that the clock is running down on their fertile days.

If you don't want to be pregnant visit your local family planning clinic. There are contraceptive recommendations especially for women over 40 and the staff will be happy to take you through them.

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