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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to risk money on a "Marmite" memory foam mattress?

65 replies

Bogeyface · 10/03/2014 01:54

They seem to be "love it or hate it" and I dont want to risk it.

Money has been v tight for well over a year but I have had back and pelvis pain for several years now and have been saving up my birthday and Xmas money (plus bits and bobs here and there) to get a new mattress. Like the OP on the other thread about these mattresses (that inspired me to post) I am married to a man that could sleep on a washing line, so whatever I get wont bother him either way. But for some reason he is pushing for a memory foam one.

I think that as I know that a very firm normal mattress will be good for me I should go for that, rather than risk spending money on something that I may fall in love with, but equally I may hate but be stuck with as I cant afford to replace it. He seems to think that as most people we know who have one think that MF mattresses are the best thing since the wheel, we should get one.

AIBU to tell him to get one when he has saved up and paid for it, and until then I get to choose?

OP posts:
squoosh · 10/03/2014 02:02

Your savings + your back pain + husband who can sleep on a rock = you choose the mattress that you think will be best for you.

I think memory foam mattresses are the emperor's new bed clothes. I say bring back springs!

TheZeeTeam · 10/03/2014 02:07

I disagree. We have a $3500 Tempur Pedic and it is easily the most comfortable bed I've ever slept on. All back pain has gone for me. That said, it takes a bit of getting used to. I didn't sleep properly for 2 weeks but then, oooohhhh. Heavenly.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 10/03/2014 02:18

thank both.

I have to say Zee that 3.5 k is in the realm of fantasy for me! If I could afford that much on a mattress then I would risk a 1.5k on a memory foam safe in the knowledge that I could replace it with a 2k spring mattress if I didnt like it :o

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeyface · 10/03/2014 02:19

Sorry that should be "thank you both" my tab seems to cut text to its own agenda!

OP posts:
MetellaEstMater · 10/03/2014 02:27

DH has back problems and we have a Tempur. It's been fantastic for him. Trouble is now he really struggles sleeping on springs when we are away!

BillyBanter · 10/03/2014 02:40

My tempur was a godsend after thinking a firm mattress was a good idea then having back pain in the morning. However I'm sure any 1k quid sprung mattress would have been as good! And when I come to replace this one I will be just as open to buying sprung as memory foam. Whatever is the best I can buy for my budget at the time.

My advice is buy from somewhere that offers 28 day returns.

CorusKate · 10/03/2014 03:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuckingGin · 10/03/2014 04:00

I would rather sleep on a hard floor than on one of those bastard things... actually I did.

Went to stay with BIL and his family back in the summer, and they had a memory foam mattress on their guest bed. It was so unbelievably uncomfortable that (having tossed and turned for half the night totally unable to sleep) DH and I got out of the bed and laid on the wooden floor and managed to sleep there for a few hours instead.

In the morning BIL expectantly asked if we'd slept well, and as we were wondering how to be polite about the horrendous bed. SIL butted in: "I bet they didn't," she said, "because we bought it for ourselves originally, he absolutely loved it, but I thought it was awful and it gave me a bad back."

So I agree they are a very love it or hate it thing. It'd be a big risk to get one if you've never slept on one before and have no idea if you will find it comfortable or not. I wouldn't risk it.

Trance · 10/03/2014 04:58

What about getting your firm mattress and then buying a memory foam topper to put on top?
That way you can try it out and if it's not for you then you still have your new firm mattress.
I bought our our first MF topper to go on top of our nearly dead 10year old mattress and it was fantastic, we used it for at least 5 years and it was left in the property when we left to rent it out, still in perfect nick.
Ours was in the region of 3" thick and cost somewhere around the £200 mark, but we had a super kingsized bed, a double or normal kingsize would be cheaper I would imagine.

MichelloBarner · 10/03/2014 05:16

We got a top of the range Tempur a few years ago and we worried for the same reasons as you - they are very Marmite. Lots of people say they struggle to get warm or stay cool on them. I can see their point (a bit) but that is a small thing compared to the comfort - just use a hot water bottle or have a lighter duvet!

From the very first night we slept on ours we loved it and I can't imagine that when we replace it we will even give headspace to buying anything else.

A little tip: If you buy direct from Tempur they do a 90 day trial. If you are not happy with it you can send it back FOR ANY REASON no questions asked. But they charge well over the odds compared to what you can buy the same mattress online for through another outlet that does not offer a money back trial........see where I'm going here? Wink

We did this. I came clean with the guy on the phone after my 90 days and said I love it but I can't justify paying XXX when other places were charging YYY and the small print entitled me to return it, etc.

We pretty soon cut a deal for them to accept the same as the lowest price I could find online for the same product.

They load the price to start with to account for the people who don't get on with it, and do return it, and most people are naive enough to just pay up. Then I imagine Tempur just sell the returned mattresses through auction or something, and they then get sold on, as there is always a suspiciously large number of them available on Ebay, all stating to be 'barely used, was in my spare room but I'm downsizing' Hmm

Who spends out on Tempur for the spare room and then flogs it cheap after a few uses? Confused

They do say they'll only accept a return if it is completely free from stains etc, so you need to make sure you use a protector and keep it really clean. But even if you've tipped a cup of coffee over it, if you just tell them you want to return it they'll try and cut a deal for you to keep it rather than make a larger loss by taking it back, so they probably won't even get a far as inspecting it for stains!

MusicalEndorphins · 10/03/2014 05:35

We have an orthopedic mattress and put a memory foam mattress pad on top of it.

Good compromise.

Trance · 10/03/2014 05:42

Michelle that's genius!
OP, forget my suggestion, definitely do that!
Grin

sashh · 10/03/2014 06:15

Go to a shop and try out a few. And actually get in to the position you sleep in.

I have arthritis in almost every joint and the memory foam - uhg but I ended up with one with a latex top, sounds horrendous but is right for me.

Roshbegosh · 10/03/2014 06:41

The hard orthopaedic mattresses hurt your hip and shoulder if you sleep on your side. We spent mega bucks on a vi spring and hated it. When we finally gave in and spent mega bucks again we went for memory foam. Love it.

Anatana · 10/03/2014 06:59

We buy ours from here and they do a 60 night trial.

17leftfeet · 10/03/2014 07:08

I have a bad back and memory foam was horrendous for me

I ended up with a pocket sprung and its great

VivaLeBeaver · 10/03/2014 07:08

I got a wonderful Memory foam mattress. Think its a Sealy.

Cost £700 online. Was over 1k in the shop. We went and lay on it for nearly an hour in the shop! I know, its bad to try it there and buy online but hey.

Pipbin · 10/03/2014 07:21

I bought a memory foam after sleeping on one at my mothers house. It was £300 from Dreams and they even do a 90 sleep exchange thing.
We had a pocket spung job before and I'd never go back.

truelymadlysleepy · 10/03/2014 07:41

We've got a Vi sprung mattress, hard side for DH medium for me. Cost a bomb but really comfy.
I hate all other beds now.

Motherinlawsdung · 10/03/2014 07:49

YABU to start a thread which I thought was going to be about Marmite. Mmmmm Marmite yum yum yum.

YANBU to want to choose the mattress, because you are the one with the bad back.

SheRaHasTheAnswer · 10/03/2014 07:57

We bought our bed from dreams, torn between a tempur and a sealy latex & sprung. Went with the sealy knowing if we didn't like it we could swap it for the tempur no questions asked after 30 days. Pleased with it but would definitely buy from dreams again- and they price match other stores but not Internet.
Our previous bed was the original tempur before they sold diff tensions- too hard but the new ones instore were lovely.

Hoppinggreen · 10/03/2014 08:04

I bought a mattress from IKEA that has a memory foam top, think it was about £700.
We tried memory foam ones in John Lewis and I didn't like them, they get really hot as well apparently.
If you go to Ikea you can lie on them all to see which suits you.

Alwayscheerful · 10/03/2014 08:11

We have a Tempur mattress and I have to say it has been a godsend.

If you are a lady of a certain age I would not recommend memory foam, I know of several ladies who find they overheat using memory foam mattresses and in that respect they can be an expensive mistake.

InvaderZim · 10/03/2014 08:23

Our mattress is sprung with a latex pillow top, it's a great alternative to memory foam as it doesn't have the heat problem, in fact it stays relatively cool in summer!

Manchesterhistorygirl · 10/03/2014 08:25

I still have pelvic and lower back pain since having spd with ds2, he's 3 now and the best thing I've bought to deal with it is my memory foam mattress. It's vastly reduced my requirement for painkillers. It only cots about £400 and is worth every singly penny.