8 year old called my 3 year old a 'retard'. AIBU to not let the little shit ever darken my door again?

[StressHeadSally]

DH's nephew. He is an absolute little shit. Treats his mother like a servant 'Give me a drink NOW'. Is a complete bully, in trouble at school and 'little shit' is NOT uncalled for. His parents do not discipline him and just sit on their arses while he does what he wants.

We see them every few months. They come for dinner today. I know what he's like as he bullies my other DS's (who are older than him but too polite to namecall or push back) and dread it.

DS3 loves visitors and follows him around. DS2 tells me that nephew called DS3 a retard, an idiot, stupid and that he hates him (this is after DS3 told him that he loves him ). He also tripped him over. He did not tell me this until after they had gone but said he had told him off. DS3 came crying to me a few times but I thought it was because he was upset that he was not getting a turn playing the game they were on.

DH is too much of a wuss to tell his brother to keep his kid in control as he's afraid of him.

I have told him that that kid is never to darken my door again. AIBU?

Sounds awful OP

In which case, you will have to keep your 3 year old with you when he visits or tell your older children to look after him. Although if neither you or dh can stand up to him, probably they can't/won't either.

So either ban him (if you can), keep your childrn with you or (this would be my favoured option) when they come round, you and the kids go out.

I am with youthecat if you are forewarned take your kids out and leave dh to deal with it!

Definetely agree, take your DCs out when they're due to come round. If your DH refuses to actually stand up for his family then he's not leaving you much option, & there'll be no point you continually speaking to him about it. The parents won't take any notice either. Id hope your DH doesn't complain about you going out - you married him not your BIL you have no obligation to put up with crap behaviour in respect of his son at all.

There is no way I would be exposing my DC to that sort of behaviour. someone has to take a stand.

YY. If you have advanced notice you take yourself and your dc off.

Just because this is something dh wants to/must tolerate doesn't mean the same holds true for you.

Your dc are your family as well as his and do not have to adhere to this ridiculous set up!