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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of with the school re vaccination reaction

159 replies

Weathergames · 05/03/2014 18:55

When DD had her 2nd HPV vaccination last year she suffered a weird reaction to it (she is not a drama lama) she does have an allergy to something we have as yet been unable to identify - GP can't do an allergy test unless we know roughly what group of things it might be we thought it was coconut (gets a weird rash all over her face) but she has random reactions to random things and getting her to keep a food diary/diary of products she has used is very difficult she is also asthmatic.

School aware of all the above. With the HPV vaccination I was a bit pissed off that I wasn't informed about the reaction as it took her over an hour to feel ok and go back to class. I think I emailed but had no response then got caught up with life and didn't follow up.

Fast forward today she has had her yr 10 boosters. I filled out the form clearly stating about what happened last time and giving my mobile number asking to be contacted if there was any issue.

Yet again she comes home and tells me the nurse saw her go pale after the jab and she went faint and nauseous and was kept in the medical room for 1 hour.

AIBU to feel the school should have phoned me or emailed me to tell me about this? Getting info from DD was like getting blood from a stone and I would like some reassurance that all is ok? She does not have a needle phobia this is clearly a physical reaction to something in the vaccination.

OP posts:
wobblyweebles · 06/03/2014 00:39

Also I would stop getting the school to vaccinate her. Apart from anything, if she's pale and nauseous each time then she'd be better off getting vaccinated in a doctor's surgery where she can get some peace and quiet and time to lie down after the vax.

noblegiraffe · 06/03/2014 01:03

Not sure what the difference is between the school phoning you and you asking your DD how the jab went. If you are concerned with how she reacted, you can phone the school and ask to speak to the nurse, as you'd probably have to have done anyway.

But you seem to have misplaced priorities. If you want to get to the bottom of your DS's allergies, a phone call from the school will have made little difference. You need to get that food diary sorted. That's what's holding everything up, and I'm not sure why, given your fear of death by anaphylaxis, you aren't pulling out all the stops. Your ex is a red herring, your DD is old enough to take responsibilty for it. If she is absent-minded, get her to set reminders on her phone.

Once that's sorted, then things can start to move on.

NobodyLivesHere · 06/03/2014 06:41

But she didn't have swelling etc at the school after the vaccination, did she? I'm not saying that she doesn't have allergies, but the school kept an eye on her for an hour after her feeling faint etc and as she was then (presumably) ok, sent her back to class. As a PP said, maybe the medical staff didn't deem this a 'reaction' in the sense of her needing any further help so didn't think it necessary to inform the OP.
you sound very over-anxious OP, and of course that is understandable to a point (I have an asthmatic child too and I worry more about her coughing than I do the others for eg) but I just think your anxiety maybe causing you to over-react before knowing what the actual issue is. If you are 'that' concerned I'd keep DD home for a week and write the food diary myself.

Thattimeofyearagain · 06/03/2014 06:48

I agree op the school should have informed you.
My DS has a severe peanut allergy, hes 20 now so it was relatively uncommon when he started high school & they just didn't 'get' it.
It took a complaint, letter from his consultant & a visit from the allergy nurse before they would follow his treatment plan ( ie not keep his epi pen in a bloody locked cupboard Angry)

Thattimeofyearagain · 06/03/2014 06:49

Also, with allergies the reactions can be very unpredictable.

WestmorlandSausage · 06/03/2014 07:18

From your descriptions of her it sounds like your daughter would be considered Gillick competent. Therefore they absolutely don't have to inform you, particularly if she asks them not to.

Have you considered that possibility?

Original poster
Weathergames · 06/03/2014 07:21

This has nothing to do with being Gillick or Fraser competent Hmm.

OP posts:
saintlyjimjams · 06/03/2014 07:32

I think you are discovering how defensive everyone becomes when you dare suggest anything at all could possibly be linked to a vaccination OP.

You described what happened last time clearly, you asked in advance to be informed if anything of that nature happened again - a perfectly reasonable request - if the school couldn't oblige they should have refused to vaccinate her there.

SuburbanRhonda · 06/03/2014 07:33

OP, I'm afraid it does.

You don't seem to be able to accept that a 14-year-old would be considered by health professionals to be able to answer a question from her mother about how the vaccination went. You seem to think only the nurses can tell you how it went.

Unless your DC has SN, she should be able to answer your questions. No need for a personal phone call from the HCPs to tell you your DD had a normal reaction.

You do need to talk to someone about your perception of the risks to your DD - you will pass your anxieties onto her about all this and then she'll never tell you anything.

SuburbanRhonda · 06/03/2014 07:36

saintly, even the OP didn't say the same thing happened again, so why would the HCPs phone her to tell her that her DD had a normal reaction to the vaccination?

It's not about vaccination, it's about the DD being reluctant to talk about it with her mother (and reading this thread, who can blame her), and the OP thinking that asking to be informed of any issue means that she so should have got a personal phone call when her DD had a normal reaction.

YouTheCat · 06/03/2014 07:37

If they had called and said she felt faint what would you have done?

She went back to class after an hour anyway.

PenelopePitstops · 06/03/2014 07:44

Pale and nauseous is not an allergic reaction, just something that happens to a few people after a jab. Perfectly routine, I can remember a few people having to relax after their injections at school.

Tbh if you react like this to everything, your doctor probably doesn't believe a word you say about her 'allergies'.

saintlyjimjams · 06/03/2014 07:44

She asked to be informed 'if there was any issue'. If they could not oblige they should have told her in advance, then OP could have chosen to go ahead or make alternative arrangements.

Sirzy · 06/03/2014 07:46

If she had had an alergic reaction they should have phoned but she didn't. She had a perfectly normal feeling a bit "woozy" reaction so they monitored her, she was fine. End of surely?

SuburbanRhonda · 06/03/2014 07:49

saintly, as almost every pp has said on this thread, what "issue" would the HCPS have told the OP about?

The DD had a normal reaction to a vaccination.

Why is that so hard to understand?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 06/03/2014 07:57

Why did you have her vaccinated at school if you are so worried? I would have taken her to the gp and had it done by the practice nurse if I thought a reaction was likely.

Martorana · 06/03/2014 07:58

I do find this baffling. If you are worried about anaphylaxis, surely it's much more worrying that she is presumably going to other people's houses and cafés and eating all sorts of things that you can't monitor? And I don't understand why the dr won't do an allergy test.

Martorana · 06/03/2014 07:58

And the "treated like cattle" comment was a bit odd too.

saintlyjimjams · 06/03/2014 08:17

She asked to be notified of anything that happened after the vaccination. It's not for the school to decide what is unusual enough or not - if they knew they could notify of any reaction then they should have refused to vaccinate her.

As for 'it's a normal reaction'. My friend's child went pale & funny after a vaccination. Yes in the majority of cases it means nothing. In this case the child collapsed a few hours later, was blue lighted to hospital & nearly died. So no, I don't think it's particularly precious to ask if your child goes a bit woozy after a vaccination.

The OP asked in advance - if it was too difficult then the school should have advised her to arrange vaccination elsewhere.

SuburbanRhonda · 06/03/2014 08:18

OP, take something from this thread - the vast majority of people on here think YABU, so have a think about maybe you're expecting too much for the school to phone you every time something normal and expected happens.

And as you said yourself, last time you decided to put it behind you and get on with life, so maybe heed your own counsel and do the same this time.

Martorana · 06/03/2014 08:24

The thing the OP should take from this thread is that if her child has potentially anaphylactic allergies she should be pressing to get them investigated. Why isn't she saying "AIBU to be pissed off with my GP for not taking my dd's allergies seriously"?

SuburbanRhonda · 06/03/2014 08:25

Good point, martorana - I suggested similar upthread but the OP chose to ignore it Hmm

arethereanyleftatall · 06/03/2014 08:30

Op, it's normal to care and worry about and love our children. We all do.

You appear throughout this thread to be petrified of her having a severe reaction. this is understandable given the concerns you detail.

So, why are you passing the buck? Why are you not doing the food diary? Why does your dd not have a phone on these days so she can tell you what happened? Why did you not organise the vac at the doctors?

candycoatedwaterdrops · 06/03/2014 08:32

Yes, feeling faint and sick are signs of anaphylaxis BUT if they watched her and saw that those were the only symptoms, they made a medical decision that she was fine. Honestly, I do appreciate that you worry and I think it was mean to suggest you helicopter your DD but you're being a bit silly. Fortunately, she was fine.

pixiepotter · 06/03/2014 08:36

Ok well I think they thought you meant, if she developed an abnormal reaction eg rash, swollen lips and a breathing problem, to contact you.What your DD suffered was a normal response